So this is a hard blog for me to write because there isn't a lot I can say. My counselling session went really well, I talked through so many things and after spending a few hours afterwards processing my session, I've come up with a plan of action.
I have zero doubt that if it wasn't for Zumba and this competition, I wouldn't have the strength or confidence to face what I'm facing. In fact, it's daunting when I think about it as a whole and if I do, I feel like crying but I'm just going to take it one step at a time and no matter how everything turns out, I'll know that I've taken all the steps I need to in order to be at peace with myself.
I've opened up to a few more friends about my situation and that's been really helpful. None of them have reacted badly which shocked me. We always fear that people will judge us and our decisions poorly but if they're true friends, I guess they will support us no matter what. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders by talking about it but at the same time it feels like everything is more real now because it's not some secret I'm carrying around anymore.
I wish I could say more but I'm not comfortable doing so in such an open forum. All in all I'm feeling scared, worried and fearful but at the same time I'm confident that I am strong enough to deal with whatever comes my way and hopeful for a positive outcome in whatever form that takes.