+ Reply to Thread
Page 17 of 18 FirstFirst ... 715161718 LastLast
Results 161 to 170 of 178
  1. #161
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    5,687
    Thanks
    1,089
    Thanked
    4,057
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    I'm thinking more of new zealand. I haven't seen the stats lately but a while ago I saw that this law is backfiring a fair bit unfortunately.
    ... example?

  2. #162
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    8,157
    Thanks
    752
    Thanked
    765
    Reviews
    5
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I thought of this thread this morning when I said to ds (3.5yrs old) 'do not open your brothers door, he is still sleeping'.
    Ds didn't listen and turned on the hallway light (right outside his brothers room) and began to open his brothers room. In that second I smacked (well really tapped) his hand away and closed the door again. I then took him away and told him that he didn't listen to me and why he shouldn't open the door.
    It was an instant reaction. I couldn't raise my voice near the door, I would have woken the baby.
    I 'could' have grabbed his arm and gently pulled him away quickly, thinking back now.

  3. #163
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    2,610
    Thanks
    1,023
    Thanked
    511
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    Yes it is!!! Assult and theft are both illegal. If you're going to call smacking assult then you have to call confiscating a toy theft.



    Yes it is...because your point is lost when you say "We wouldn't xyz to an adult so why do xyz to a child" when I can say that we do all sorts of things to both adults and children that we wouldn't do to the other so that point is moot. It's time to move onto another point when there is no where to go.



    I'm sorry but you can't change the parameters now just because it doesn't suit your argument. You said that you wouldn't hit an adult as it'd be assult...I'm saying that there's lots of things that you wouldn't do to an adult as it'd be akin to assult (touching someone without their permission) stealing, deprivation of liberty etc etc. And if you read the thread you will see I did just that when I made the point about our law enforcement using pain compliance to get criminals to comply.




    But do you steal from your child? Do you assult them in another way (touch them without their permission) vaccinate, hold them down to get some sort of medical treatment? Do you deprive them of their freedom...ie don't allow them to leave without permission etc etc? Yay for you...you don't hit but you do other things to them that you wouldn't do to an adult and that's somehow ok because it suits your argument?? Well I don't. I think that if you can't follow the rule 100% (not doing something to your child that you wouldn't do to an adult) then it's hypocritical to take the moral high ground and preach to others.



    Good call
    Very excellent points I would have just thanked the post but thought it needed quoted and repeating

    Quote Originally Posted by Luvmydogs View Post
    No, I will be using timeout etc. I don't agree with physical violence, especially on a defenceless child.
    See I never did time outs I dont like them much. It like saying your bad now go sit there and we will ignore you until we think your worthy of having family attention again. Wont this in the long run effect the child and have them wonder what is wrong with them that the family doesnt want to be around them?

    When my 6yro DD was little we did time ins, we had a little corner set up with a bean bag and books and coloring books and when she would get out of hand or start throwing a fit we would tell her she needed time to herself and to go to her area and come out when she is feeling better. We didnt force her to stay there and she could come out anytime she wanted. We didnt ignore her if she talked to us we would talk back. Worked great for her but all kids are different. So may not work for other kids but I didnt want her to feel shunned for being "bad" if that makes sense.

    So whats the difference of spanking and grabbing a kids arm and moving them arnt they both physical punishment? Do we have the right to man handle our kids but not the right to smack?

  4. #164
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    6,718
    Thanks
    3,789
    Thanked
    3,838
    Reviews
    17
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 14/11/14100 Posts in a week

    Default Re: Smacking your child

    deserama

    I'm not going to quote you because that would mean a huge list of quotes. But you made very good points in regard to theft and assault and all those other things. The time out thing and deprivation of liberty is what I was getting at last night. It seems the parameters are getting changed to suit arguments without the acknowledgment of those changing them. As I said parenting is just policing on a smaller scale.

    Parameters:
    time out = jail
    Confiscation = theft
    Smack = abuse
    child = adult

    Going by these parameters a child, whether they comprehend spoken language or not, should know right from wrong, safety from danger and the spoken word. Is it not true that a child learns unspoken language before being able to talk. They learn facial recognition, familiar sounds, sights and experiences. If a child has a negative experience are they likely to avoid it again? If it is positive are they likely to wasn't to do it again? Now link it to a dangerous situation.

    A child has the same rights as an adult. A child can make decisions for them selves. Going by the same logic that a child should have the same rights as an adult, a child of any age can have s3x with an adult. A child can drive a car. A child can drink alcohol. A child can leave school when they want (if they don't want to be there it is deprivation of liberty, therefore assault of sorts). While this is originally in relation to discipline the point I am making is that they need to have boundaries and consequences. Not all kids are idealistic. I get the impression that those who don't believe in even a tap have never had to experience a true "spirited" child (special needs excluded). Going by these parameters there are no consequences.


    Imagine the world if no child learnt that actions have consequences. What would happen when law enforcement are able to enforce consequences? Oh the uproar.

    Sent from my magical black talky thingy using BubHub

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to DesperatelySeekingSleep For This Useful Post:

    Deserama  (07-12-2012),soon2bmumzy  (07-12-2012)

  6. #165
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    In a house.......
    Posts
    7,804
    Thanks
    423
    Thanked
    741
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    Yes it is!!! Assult and theft are both illegal. If you're going to call smacking assult then you have to call confiscating a toy theft.



    Yes it is...because your point is lost when you say "We wouldn't xyz to an adult so why do xyz to a child" when I can say that we do all sorts of things to both adults and children that we wouldn't do to the other so that point is moot. It's time to move onto another point when there is no where to go.



    I'm sorry but you can't change the parameters now just because it doesn't suit your argument. You said that you wouldn't hit an adult as it'd be assult...I'm saying that there's lots of things that you wouldn't do to an adult as it'd be akin to assult (touching someone without their permission) stealing, deprivation of liberty etc etc. And if you read the thread you will see I did just that when I made the point about our law enforcement using pain compliance to get criminals to comply.




    But do you steal from your child? Do you assult them in another way (touch them without their permission) vaccinate, hold them down to get some sort of medical treatment? Do you deprive them of their freedom...ie don't allow them to leave without permission etc etc? Yay for you...you don't hit but you do other things to them that you wouldn't do to an adult and that's somehow ok because it suits your argument?? Well I don't. I think that if you can't follow the rule 100% (not doing something to your child that you wouldn't do to an adult) then it's hypocritical to take the moral high ground and preach to others.



    Good call
    I didn't change the parameters- i elaborated on my orignal post. There IS a difference. I can see your point, I can even see here you're going with it but ZI just can't agree with it sorry.
    And I think I might just agree to disagree with you here because it appears I have met my match in stubborn in you and it's quite clear that neither one of us is going to back down.

  7. #166
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Redcliffe
    Posts
    195
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    62
    Reviews
    0

    Default Smacking your child

    ...

  8. #167
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    6,718
    Thanks
    3,789
    Thanked
    3,838
    Reviews
    17
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 14/11/14100 Posts in a week

    Default Re: Smacking your child

    Quote Originally Posted by Roopee View Post
    I didn't change the parameters- i elaborated on my orignal post. There IS a difference. I can see your point, I can even see here you're going with it but ZI just can't agree with it sorry.
    And I think I might just agree to disagree with you here because it appears I have met my match in stubborn in you and it's quite clear that neither one of us is going to back down.
    When you say a child should have the same rights as an adult and you wouldn't do x or y to a child so why do z if you wouldn't do it to an adult you do change the parameters.

    But your right. This is going in circles and getting repetitive.


    Sent from my magical black talky thingy using BubHub

  9. #168
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    410
    Thanks
    51
    Thanked
    140
    Reviews
    0

    Default Smacking your child

    In response to OP I tap DDs hand if she is doing something that can be harmful to herself or others after she has been told not to do it numerous times, been distracted by other things, removed from the situation and all other avenues exhausted.
    But what I really want to address is those that say smacking should be illegal, while it may seem great that it may stop abuse it begins a cycle (IMO) of kids abusing parents, my experience with this is as a child in new Zealand where it is illegal to smack, my eldest sister was a horrible child and was extremely rebellious one day she pushed my mum and hit her (she was early teens and quite strong) my dad saw and the only way he saw to stop what was happening was to smack her once on the back of her legs it was not very hard, it was the fright she got that upset her, she went to the police, and all of us were made to stay with other people until my parents were investigated and we had talked to councillors, my father was stopping a situation (not with pain but with shock) that could have got worse and defending my mother from abuse.... but it was him who got in trouble????
    Then there is my 7 year old niece who has moved on from you can't touch me or you'll go to jail, to I'll tell the police you hit me if you make me tidy my room (for the record my sister and BIL don't smack there kids but have to put up with this threat)
    Making it illegal can make good parents who have sometimes exhausted all avenues of discipline criminals and it's guilty until proven innocent.
    I am definitely in support of stopping abuse but I think taking away our right to make decisions as parents is not the right way to go.

  10. #169
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    6,718
    Thanks
    3,789
    Thanked
    3,838
    Reviews
    17
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 14/11/14100 Posts in a week

    Default Re: Smacking your child

    My brother was and still is one of these kids. He would chase after me with knives for no reason other than it was fun. wouldn't go to school. Kick, hit, punch, swear at and anything else he wanted to do to anyone. His response at any adult trying to stop him from hitting them. "if you touch me I will call the police", "you can't hit me back so suck sh!t", "I can do whatever I want and you can't stop me", "what ya gonna do about, nothing".

    One set of rules for me and a different brother(legal, illegal or otherwise), a whole set of other rules for the others (different dad). The one that never got smacked still had no respect for others or the consequences of his actions.

    Sent from my magical black talky thingy using BubHub

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to DesperatelySeekingSleep For This Useful Post:

    Lovemyfam  (07-12-2012)

  12. #170
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    795
    Thanks
    109
    Thanked
    411
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    To the person who posted that their family was investigated in New Zealand in regards to a smack, can I ask when this was?

    I had to research this for a uni essay and I found that only 1 or 2 people that had been convivted on the smacking law. I also thought that there had to be a few reports, not an isolated incident? I could be wrong though.....


 

Similar Threads

  1. Smacking
    By october in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 16-08-2012, 07:05
  2. Smacking - I hate it, but I do it :(
    By breakthemould in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 13-04-2012, 08:43
  3. Smacking
    By Jarylee in forum General Chat
    Replies: 169
    Last Post: 08-02-2012, 21:13

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Tambo Teddies
Visit our online store and select your individually handmade natural sheepskin teddy bear. Our soft and loveable bears come in a range of styles and colours. Created in Outback Queensland each bear is unique individual. 100% Australian made!
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
ProSwim
ProSwim runs learn to swim classes for babies, children and adults. Our indoor centre in Plympton Park has lessons all year round, including school holidays. We also offer outdoor programs during the summer months (Oct-Mar) at Rostrevor college.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!