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  1. #151
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    Smacking is such a controversial issue. I personally dont agree with it but I am also not about to tell other people how to parent their children as it ****s me when people try to tell me what to do. I have worked with young children for many years and tantrums are usually a result of the loss of self control. When this happens at work there is no option of a smack and I feel as though it may take a little longer but other methods do work. Louise Porter has an amazing book on behaviour management which changed my methods and thoughts - not that parents really get much time to read.

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  3. #152
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    But I do think it's abuse and so do several more progressive countries. So there is something wrong with it.
    Well considering I've been both abused and smacked by my parents I can tell you in no uncertain terms that there IS a difference. Abuse has hurt me...smacking taught me - two totally different things. I could tell how my parents felt and the intent behind the abuse vs the smack. So sorry I disagree with you that it's wrong and I disagree with the 'developed countries' who also think it's wrong. They're wrong and it will show soon in their youth.

  4. #153
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    Well considering I've been both abused and smacked by my parents I can tell you in no uncertain terms that there IS a difference. Abuse has hurt me...smacking taught me - two totally different things. I could tell how my parents felt and the intent behind the abuse vs the smack. So sorry I disagree with you that it's wrong and I disagree with the 'developed countries' who also think it's wrong. They're wrong and it will show soon in their youth.
    If we taught anyone other than a child with corporal punishment, it'd be abuse yes?


    In your last part, are you saying not smacking raises less than adequate youth?

    Finland and Sweden have had it outlawed well before I was even born, yet there is no serious fall out from banning corporal punishment, in fact both countries perform exceptionally well statistically.

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  6. #154
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roopee View Post
    I can say that I think you are wrong because to me you ARE. Hitting, to me is not on the same level as confiscating a toy.
    Yes it is!!! Assult and theft are both illegal. If you're going to call smacking assult then you have to call confiscating a toy theft.

    My point may be moot to you, or to someone who uses smacking as a tool to discipline but to those of us who don't think smacking is necessary, it is not moot.
    Yes it is...because your point is lost when you say "We wouldn't xyz to an adult so why do xyz to a child" when I can say that we do all sorts of things to both adults and children that we wouldn't do to the other so that point is moot. It's time to move onto another point when there is no where to go.

    Can you tell me some other things that we don't do to adults but we do to kids that are on the same parameter of hitting to gain compliance? I'll maybe start to see your point then?
    I'm sorry but you can't change the parameters now just because it doesn't suit your argument. You said that you wouldn't hit an adult as it'd be assult...I'm saying that there's lots of things that you wouldn't do to an adult as it'd be akin to assult (touching someone without their permission) stealing, deprivation of liberty etc etc. And if you read the thread you will see I did just that when I made the point about our law enforcement using pain compliance to get criminals to comply.


    Again, you may think the point is weak because you smack- I think it's strong because I don't hit.
    But do you steal from your child? Do you assult them in another way (touch them without their permission) vaccinate, hold them down to get some sort of medical treatment? Do you deprive them of their freedom...ie don't allow them to leave without permission etc etc? Yay for you...you don't hit but you do other things to them that you wouldn't do to an adult and that's somehow ok because it suits your argument?? Well I don't. I think that if you can't follow the rule 100% (not doing something to your child that you wouldn't do to an adult) then it's hypocritical to take the moral high ground and preach to others.

    And I have a sneaking suspicion that this is not 'the end'- but more of a 'to be continued........" (Sorry, lame attempt at lightening the thread)
    Good call

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  8. #155
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    If we taught anyone other than a child with corporal punishment, it'd be abuse yes?
    No...we made that point last night with the law enforcement. Using pain compliance in order to get someone to comply is ok in some instances. And I'll say the same to you as I did to roopee....stealing is stealing but confiscating a toy isn't stealing?? You can't have it both ways. You either follow that train of thought in EVERY aspect of your parenting or yes you can pick and choose if you like, but then don't dictate or push your views on others.


    In your last part, are you saying not smacking raises less than adequate youth?

    Finland and Sweden have had it outlawed well before I was even born, yet there is no serious fall out from banning corporal punishment, in fact both countries perform exceptionally well statistically.
    There are a lot of other factors that could have made the statistics the way they are. Do you know everything that they have in their country that others don't. You're looking at smacking in a bubble here...but it's not. There are other factors at play.

  9. #156
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    No...we made that point last night with the law enforcement. Using pain compliance in order to get someone to comply is ok in some instances. And I'll say the same to you as I did to roopee....stealing is stealing but confiscating a toy isn't stealing?? You can't have it both ways. You either follow that train of thought in EVERY aspect of your parenting or yes you can pick and choose if you like, but then don't dictate or push your views on others.
    Authority figures can confiscate items and my issue isn't with doing something illegal, it's with using violence to punish and educate.

    There are a lot of other factors that could have made the statistics the way they are. Do you know everything that they have in their country that others don't. You're looking at smacking in a bubble here...but it's not. There are other factors at play.
    I'm not at all, you were simply saying the results making corporal punishment illegal will eventually show in their youth.

    You know what, you're probably right, they will probably be less likely to punish people physically, or to teach people through violence... and that's a good thing.

  10. #157
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    Authority figures can confiscate items.
    Exactly!!! And so can parents See what I'm getting at here?



    I'm not at all, you were simply saying the results making corporal punishment illegal will eventually show in their youth.
    I'm thinking more of new zealand. I haven't seen the stats lately but a while ago I saw that this law is backfiring a fair bit unfortunately.

    You know what, you're probably right, they will probably be less likely to punish people physically, or to teach people through violence... and that's a good thing.
    AS far as new zealand...no...it's not. Because, as I said, there is a lot more to do with the statistics in switzeland and sweden than merely not smacking children. But if, in australia, ALL we do is make it illegal to smack kids without addressing other issues then it will create a very dangerous and slippery slope.

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  12. #158
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    No, I will be using timeout etc. I don't agree with physical violence, especially on a defenceless child.

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    Default Re: Smacking your child

    Dd got a smack this morning. By "smack" I mean "hard tap on her hand" it wouldn't have hurt. But shock yes. I use more force tearing up paper.

    She threw a ball at my head for no reason! (normally if she pulled a stunt like that its because I'm ignoring her ie on phone call or something) then she laughed and refused to say sorry. If she wasn't late for childcare I would have dealt with it differently ie probably ignore her not play with her and say she hurt my head and feelings by throwing that ball at it.

    I feel bad afterwards. But you know, I feel bad after forcing her to take medicine.

    Mum used to cane me. Once or twice as a kid dad grabbed my upper arms and shook me. That was scary. Would have been an older kid. Dad is normally very gentle and quiet, so I would have been **** scared when he even raised his voice... It was less scary getting caned by mum! Afterwards mum would always cry and say she was sorry and loved me very much and she needed to go pray to god for forgiveness etc.

    So yeah. I wouldn't cane my daughter, ever. I probably wouldn't let dp dish out corporeal punishment, if I'm there to do it. And after I try to talk it over and apologize.

    Sent from my HTC Incredible S using BubHub

  14. #160
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    We aren't against smacking, like tap on the hand or leg, definitely not thumping on the child. But its very rare the kids get to that point. Generally a stern warning, then talking to and if needed punishment where we take something away does work. We leave the smack as a last resort. These days a stern voice and good evil eye will get them to stop what they are doing.


 

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