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  1. #131
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    For safety.

    Much like if my son refuses to come off the road, I will make him come off the road by removing him.

    The only difference is the level of force required.

    They aren't doing it to teach a lesson, that may be a by product, but the aim is to have them comply for safety reasons.
    Dh laughed and said "No it's to get the job done" LOL

    He is made to comply because his charges have to be read...his finger prints need to be done and he needs to be searched. The main reason is to get the job done so they can move onto the next prisoner. Sometimes the bi-product is safety but basically they are made to comply because there are proceedures that need to be put in place and if a crim refuses to do what he is told - he is made to.

    I don't know what else to tell you. These are the facts from someone who works in the industry. There is nothing else I can say without risking repeating myself. Restraint and compliance are the two reasons they use pain compliance techniques. These are facts.
    Last edited by Deserama; 06-12-2012 at 23:46.

  2. #132
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    Lol, it's very different than using pain to teach him not to do it.
    But I bet he won't forget it...hence he is then taught

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    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    But I bet he won't forget it...hence he is then taught
    Yes, but there are better methods to teach.

    The mindset of 'if you don't do what you're told, I will hurt you' isn't a good one and it doesn't develop a child as well as 'this is why you do this'.

    Especially with someone who doesn't know and understand the difference between wrong and right, safe and dangerous.

  4. #134
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    Default Re: Smacking your child

    You know what. I walk away when I get too frustrated and angry. I need to. I also get accused of being too soft with discipline. I don't care if I'm getting burned right now because I know my kids will do what they think is the right thing, not by force or fear but by logic and rationality. One argue smack the child it does harm, another could argue don't smack the child it does harm. Geez my sister got tasered for non compliance. Was she gonna hurt herself? Probably. You could argue it was the right thing at the time. was she able to be reasoned with? I don't know. Can a toddler be reasoned with? No, not generally.

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  5. #135
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    How do people who smack feel about this:

    http://www.endcorporalpunishment.org...ib_states.html

    If you take the time to read many of the articles there are a lot of analogies between the treatment of adults and children and why comparisons are valid. And these are not crackpots.

    If smacking became illegal in this country (including a "tap") would you continue?

  6. #136
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    Default Re: Smacking your child

    My sister has the same opinion as many on this topic, to her smacking is a no no! My sister & my brother in law have even made a mutual agreement on the subject! Similarly like someone else mentioned above my sister was also a little bit opinionated when it came to other people's children smacking because they had to have learnt it somewhere & it's always most likely the parents right? How wrong I feel she was!!!

    It was only today, I witnessed my niece (who over the past fortnight has decided she doesn't like clothing or nappies, she's 2 lol) throwing a massive tantrum about having to put her nappy back on & in the process of this tantrum proceeded to slap my sister 3 times (twice in the face, once across the arm) and kicked her several times... My sister stayed down at her level, persisted with words, tried calmly talking to her, counted to 3 but my niece continued to act like she was possessed, screaming & thrashing around like a fish out of water & honestly the thought crossed my mind & I felt like telling my sister after the second blow to the face that maybe a smack on the bum or hand would show her that smacking is not pleasant, she didn't like it so she shouldn't smack her mummy! I didn't say it because I know my niece would just loose it & my sister would automatically say it wouldn't achieve anything but I felt sorry for my sister, she has amazing patience!

    I am not a mum yet so I'm not sure but today & now that I've seen this thread is the only times I have even thought about it!

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  7. #137
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    Quote Originally Posted by DesperatelySeekingSleep View Post
    You know what. I walk away when I get too frustrated and angry. I need to. I also get accused of being too soft with discipline. I don't care if I'm getting burned right now because I know my kids will do what they think is the right thing, not by force or fear but by logic and rationality. One argue smack the child it does harm, another could argue don't smack the child it does harm. Geez my sister got tasered for non compliance. Was she gonna hurt herself? Probably. You could argue it was the right thing at the time. was she able to be reasoned with? I don't know. Can a toddler be reasoned with? No, not generally.

    Sent from my magical black talky thingy using BubHub
    That sounds very distressing for your sister. My brother hs been through similar situations and it's horrible.

    Toddlers are bl00dy hard. My 3 year old can be a nightmare. Most night by dinner time she's completely unreasonable, won't eat and cries at the dinner table. It's a horrible way to end the day. She lashes out at me and some days it's all I can do to walk away.

    I don't smack, never have because my mother smacked and I hated it. I still remember how it felt and I hated her for it. Yes I learnt a lesson but it wasn't fair. But I also think parents can do so much more harm with their words. Sometimes parents shout, and scream at their kids, and insult them when they are pushed, and that can be as harmful as a smack.

    Personally I think smacking or any form of corporal punishment should be illegal, simply because it's too easy for parents to take it to extremes. However, sometimes the same amount of damage or even more can be done with words.

  8. #138
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    Yes, but there are better methods to teach.

    The mindset of 'if you don't do what you're told, I will hurt you' isn't a good one and it doesn't develop a child as well as 'this is why you do this'.

    Especially with someone who doesn't know and understand the difference between wrong and right, safe and dangerous.
    And that's great. But I'm sure that a lot of people who smack can tell you that smacking doesn't happen in a vacuum. Most use it like me as 'A' tool in the toolbox of parenting. I'm big for natural consequence myself so that is my 'go-to' technique vast majority of the time. However there are some instances where smack is warranted. However, it is never used as the first port of call and it is not used in a vacuum. You don't use it...but maybe there's something else you do that I wouldn't. We're all different and we all use different techniques to teach and keep our children safe. And as long as no one is abusing their children then there's nothing wrong with any of it

  9. #139
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    Quote Originally Posted by miraclemakers View Post
    My sister has the same opinion as many on this topic, to her smacking is a no no! My sister & my brother in law have even made a mutual agreement on the subject! Similarly like someone else mentioned above my sister was also a little bit opinionated when it came to other people's children smacking because they had to have learnt it somewhere & it's always most likely the parents right? How wrong I feel she was!!!

    It was only today, I witnessed my niece (who over the past fortnight has decided she doesn't like clothing or nappies, she's 2 lol) throwing a massive tantrum about having to put her nappy back on & in the process of this tantrum proceeded to slap my sister 3 times (twice in the face, once across the arm) and kicked her several times... My sister stayed down at her level, persisted with words, tried calmly talking to her, counted to 3 but my niece continued to act like she was possessed, screaming & thrashing around like a fish out of water & honestly the thought crossed my mind & I felt like telling my sister after the second blow to the face that maybe a smack on the bum or hand would show her that smacking is not pleasant, she didn't like it so she shouldn't smack her mummy! I didn't say it because I know my niece would just loose it & my sister would automatically say it wouldn't achieve anything but I felt sorry for my sister, she has amazing patience!
    My DH and I have an agreement as well. It's not that uncommon.

    And I have been in your sister's position a few times. Patience is something you definitely have to work on. In that situation as you describe smacking could actually escalate things. Or stop them. I used to just wrap my daughter in my arms like a swaddle and hold her silently until she calmed down, which she always did. Your sister sounds like she's doing an amazing job. Until you become a parent yourself you won't know how you'd feel in that situation (which you acknowledge).

  10. #140
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    Default Smacking your child

    Smacking never hurt me in any long term way with my grandma it was the wooden spoon across the bum dad was an open handon the bum I wasn't game to do the naughty thing again kids learn by repetition and consistency. I knew not to be naughty or I'd get smacked
    Abuse on the other Hand
    my mother did take it to extreme measures jug cords spatulas tin food thrown at me punched stock whip etc and it severely damaged our relationship to this day
    As for tazers. I'd much rather be tazered by a police officer than shot
    IMO smacking on the bum open hand when warranted is ok abuse isn't. And I'm not going to judge another parent for smacking. However if they're abusing their child ill judge
    Last edited by jagamoe; 07-12-2012 at 00:11.


 

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