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  1. #1
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    Default Help for a new single mum who is just not dealing with it.

    Hi just in need of some help from mums who have been there done this as I just dont have people I want to talk about this with.
    Im really not dealing with this at all, Ive been with DH for 10years and now it is over I dont want it to be but he wants no part in making it work. How do you just start living again. I will be moving out as we were moving closer to family so I could get help with the kids on uni and work days and now its just me and the kids moving. I dont no what to pack what I can take I feel like Im being made to start over again when really all I wanted was to make it work.

    I have found the last few night have been the worst in the day its fine I have work,kids and the house to keep my mind off things but at night it hits me I am alone all alone while he gets to chat up the girls at his work and just move on. If I were a man it would be ok for me to just move on but being a mum I feel like Im ment to put everyone in front of me still.

    I really just want to move on with my life and put all this crap in my past but with it being so raw and him being the one to end it I feel Im stuck still trying to fix things even if I know its over I just dont no how to be single.

    How did you move on and was there anything that made it really sink in for you that it was over.

  2. #2
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    Default Help for a new single mum who is just not dealing with it.

    No advice because I'm going through this exact same thing myself - also while 25wks pregnant, so it sucks.

    But sending you massive the ladies in this section are awesome.

  3. #3
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    Default Help for a new single mum who is just not dealing with it.

    My situation was a little different from yours but I do think it is important to have things to focus on and make sure you aren't just putting everyone else first all of the time. That doesn't mean just going out and chatting up guys, more like hobbies or taking time to catch up with friends for coffee or taking part in a gym class once a week or something. Whatever it is you really enjoy.

    Sorry this has happened to you.

  4. #4
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    Thank you both its just all getting to me today he has taken off for the week and all his FB updates are about drinking beer while Im stuck with a sick bub who is missing him just feeling really low right now.

    Ive started walking every day just to get me out of the house and Ive made a coffee date for tomorrow with a friend but its just not sinking in that we are no longer together. I think maybe when I move out it will but by that time I will be getting ready to head back to uni and get our son ready for a new school so I wont have time to feel sorry for myself.

  5. #5
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    Hi!

    I separated on NYE so almost a year ago and I was 6 months pregnant with a then 4 year old. Take it day by day or hour by hour if you need to. I knew it was over on NYE. There was no taking my dh back. (Long story but he is unworthy of my time to write it so I won't).

    The only thing that has really upset me is his treatment of the children and perhaps his constant need to be nasty to me.

    You can do this and if you take some time to breathe and plan you and the children will be fine. When you catch yourself thinking about him 'chatting up girls at work' notice it but mentally tell yourself to stop. It's not helpful and tbh he might like the single life of drnking beer and womanising but there's not depth to it and he will either stop enjoying it or turn into a man that's sadand/or bitter.

    I'm sorry this is happening to you but please believe it will get better. I was shatteredbut now I couldn't be happier. I'm free and soon enough other things will improve too.

  6. #6
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    Thanks for that I just feel so alone right now and the kids are asking questions about where he is and why has he gone, he will be back next week but I dont feel like I can live under the same roof as him. Ive spent the past few months being called fat every night being made to feel like I have to cook,clean and wash everything for him if I didnt he would crack it and Id be made to feel like crap.

    Im just so worn down right now and Im lacking in people to talk to where I live as we are so far out from my family and friends. I know it will get better its just these first few weeks that feel like Im stuck doing all the running around again, having to find another house go look at school make sure they have the staff to deal with my son as this is going to be such a big thing for him.

  7. #7
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    Default Help for a new single mum who is just not dealing with it.

    Is there a reason why you have to be the one to leave with the kids? If this is his decision, why doesn't HE leave so you aren't putting you kids through so much at once?

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to Pesca77 For This Useful Post:

    Missbean  (06-12-2012)

  9. #8
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    I would love for him to pack up and go his nan lives a few streets away so he would have a place close to the kids however with me heading back to uni and still working next year we need someone to help with the kids more so our son at this point he is on Partial attendance at school and I wont be able to get him and even when he is on full days if he has a bad day and needs to go home we are on our own out this way so it all falls on me to do it. So we were moving closer to my family and his work before this all happened. I would love to stay as Its such a big thing to move with 3 kids but if I stay here I have no help even with him being close he has made it clear I am on my own.

    I am spending this week trying to work something out with the school to see if I could make it work out this way and on the off chance we can I will be staying Im just not sure if he will leave I think he has been trying to get me out of the house. so its not 100% that I will be leaving but its feeling like I have too if you can understand all that lol.


 

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