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  1. #1
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    Default How to include family in birth without being in the birth room?

    Hi Ladies,
    I am in need of your abundant wisdom and ideas.

    I am due in 5 weeks with my 2nd DD and the subject has come up about who will be there at the birth as my support people.

    I was planning on only having DH there for this birth as my first was quite quick and easy (as quick and easy as you would call birth). My DH has expressed the desire to have MIL there this time. Now I dont really have a problem with MIL being there only that we are not that close and feel it would be uncomfortable for both of us as I would not rely on her for support in the birth so would mostly just be an observer (which is a bit creepy IMO).

    I do however want to include her somehow in the birth but other than having her in the waiting room to come in as soon as she is born, I dont know how else to do that?

    How have you included family/friends in the birth without actually having them there in the room with you?

    Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

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    Default Re: How to include family in birth without being in the birth room?

    Subbing as I have the same problem.
    But DH wants MIL and sil. I'm not close to either of them!

    Sent from my LG-P500 using BubHub

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    Default How to include family in birth without being in the birth room?

    What if she came in after bub was born and cut the cord?

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    What if she waits in the hospital waiting area and was in charge of communicating with other family members? But of course you probably want to announce the birth yourself

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    Nowhere's Avatar
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    Seriously you are giving the a grandchild what more do theywant they do not need to be included you are giving birth not performing, it is for you and your DH or who ever you pick as your birth partner its not about his mum or sister or you mum or cousins aunt etc etc.

    People seem to think that when you are having a babythat you are suddenly family property your not.

    good luck xxx

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    Default How to include family in birth without being in the birth room?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nowhere View Post
    Seriously you are giving the a grandchild what more do theywant they do not need to be included you are giving birth not performing, it is for you and your DH or who ever you pick as your birth partner its not about his mum or sister or you mum or cousins aunt etc etc.

    People seem to think that when you are having a babythat you are suddenly family property your not.

    good luck xxx
    Agree. If your not up for it don't get guilted into having these extra ppl. You'll only end up feeling self conscious.

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    Default Re: How to include family in birth without being in the birth room?

    Could she maybe be given a job like getting water/ice for you and a cool face wash or even if your DH needs a drink or something to eat she can do that? Or if he needs a break she could sit with you I guess it depends how long your labour is aswell! She could just be on stand by for anything either of you need. If you wanted a few pictures taken she could do that? Maybe just let her know you would both only want her in there until a certain point so she isnt just sitting there in the room waiting around

    But if you only want DH in there then dont feel guilted into having extras in the room. This is your special moment you decide who will be there with you

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    Last edited by Purple Lily; 03-12-2012 at 19:40.

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    Default How to include family in birth without being in the birth room?

    Don't do it!!!
    You need to feel 100% comfortable and at ease.
    Feeling conscious could potentially affect your whole birthing experience. No way. No how.

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    Default How to include family in birth without being in the birth room?

    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    Don't do it!!!
    You need to feel 100% comfortable and at ease.
    Feeling conscious could potentially affect your whole birthing experience. No way. No how.
    This. It's not your obligation to make her feel included.

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    Default How to include family in birth without being in the birth room?

    How did I include family in the birth? I didn't. The people present at the birth of my children were those present at the conception (except for the medical staff of course lol).

    Why does your husband want her there? You are the one who needs support. I think you need to tell him that it would make you uncomfortable and you need to feel that you're in a safe space while you deliver.


 

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