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  1. #81
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    I think its terribly wrong and selfish.

  2. #82
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    Default What would you do in my situation!?

    Quote Originally Posted by Stiflers Mom View Post
    OP maybe send your friend some info on private sperm donation. Does she realise there's a less messy alternative?
    But you can't get CS from a donor...

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  4. #83
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    Oh gosh this story just plain scares me, and I'm sure it's not that uncommon. So manipulative and wrong.

    Its a really tough call because really it is none of your business BUT....

    I would talk to the friend one last time, try to get her to see the error of her planned ways and be as understanding as possible if she's really super super clucky (sperm donor, be honest with the guy and see if he'll willingly participate etc), then if that seems to fall on deaf ears - tell the guy. You always have the chance that she'll promise to keep taking the pill to you and doesn't tell you any more about what she's up to until she announces a 'surprise' pregnancy. You also don't need to spell out in black and white what's planned for the guy and his "donations". I am sure if you point out the failure rates for the pill backed up with a few examples of friends who had surprise bubbas, then he might get a hint that it's time to wear a condom. I would not try to argue to your friend that I didnt "tell" if I did this by the way.

    In this instance, there is potentially an innocent kid tangled up in that deceit - that would make the decision easy for me because I just cant see it easily working out so happily for the kid if there is ever a hint of doubt about the conception being an accident. It kinda takes both of them out of the equation as both are not squeaky clean at all, but does the kid that may result deserve this? And yes I expect you'd lose a friend over this.

    I'm still just so scared by this.

  5. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    I guess we are lucky as women to have a choice if someone pulls this on us but men dont have a choice and can get wrangled into a lifetime commitment by simply trusting a partner what a sad world we live in.
    1. Tell that to the millions of women in Africa (and the world over) who don't have a choice - because men have been controlling women's fertility since the dawn of time.

    2. Men have a choice! And the right to protect themselves! I wonder how many guys who have unprotected sex the world over actually follow up on every ejaculate to find out if it resulted in a baby....

    Deceit happens - its not cool, but it's totally avoidable if you don't want it to happen to you!

    Agree there's much less messy options, but I'm sure the OP's friend knows that. Seems as though she wants this particular guys baby. The thing that surprises me most about all of this is that she actually admitted it to you! It's not the kind of thing people usually admit.

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  7. #85
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    You tell her what you think in the most tactful way you can, and then you leave it. It's not your life, and your loyalty is to her, not him. At least, that's how I view my friendships anyway. Friends always eff up, so I feel unless you're going to dump them whenever they do, you've got to be loyal (unless it's something extreme).

    You can still tell her your opinion though. Friends do that.

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  9. #86
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    If a man who you had known for 4 weeks told you he had had a vasectomy, would you believe him?

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    Quote Originally Posted by SPC View Post
    If a man who you had known for 4 weeks told you he had had a vasectomy, would you believe him?
    Pmsl 'Don't worry babe, I got this!'

    Can you imagine? 'But my boyfriend told me he had a vasectomy...'

    I'm sure the sympathy would be a'rollin in!

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  13. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baracuda View Post
    1. Tell that to the millions of women in Africa (and the world over) who don't have a choice - because men have been controlling women's fertility since the dawn of time.

    2. Men have a choice! And the right to protect themselves! I wonder how many guys who have unprotected sex the world over actually follow up on every ejaculate to find out if it resulted in a baby....

    Deceit happens - its not cool, but it's totally avoidable if you don't want it to happen to you!

    Agree there's much less messy options, but I'm sure the OP's friend knows that. Seems as though she wants this particular guys baby. The thing that surprises me most about all of this is that she actually admitted it to you! It's not the kind of thing people usually admit.
    Sure you can think that but if someone one came on here and said she was pregnant because her BF wanted a baby and poked holes in the condom I am sure you wouldnt be thinking "oh well your fault have fun being a mom" You cant be serious with all this poo can you really?

    Quote Originally Posted by SPC View Post
    If a man who you had known for 4 weeks told you he had had a vasectomy, would you believe him?
    Thats provable now if he had a paper saying he was I would believe it, just like if a woman has the pill and pretends to take it.

    I am not sure how anyone can think this is ok. Leave the man and woman out of it think of just the way the child will feel when he finds out his dad never wanted him and his mom tricked his dad into having him/her

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    Default What would you do in my situation!?

    Quote Originally Posted by SPC View Post
    If a man who you had known for 4 weeks told you he had had a vasectomy, would you believe him?
    This actually just crossed my mind.

    I wouldn't 100% believe him until our relation had grown and foundations of trust had been built.

    Vasectomy theory aside, I would still use condoms and ask for STD tests before any sex happened, I'm just like that..
    And yes both Dh and I were tested for STD's before we had sex.. Which was a year after we started dating.

    This story is blowing my mind.
    But unprotected sex 4 weeks into a relationship sounds a bit reckless IMO.

  15. #90
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    Wanted to add I wouldnt be this persons friend anymore. I could never think good about her again and it would show if I tried to fake it.


 

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