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    Quote Originally Posted by headoverfeet View Post
    He is having consensual sex he is not giving up the right to his body he is depositing sperm inside a woman if he doesnt want to make a baby then he should abstain from sex, no contraception is 100% effective. Women are told repeatedly to use contraception and they are shamed and bullied about keeping their legs closed if they don't want a baby when contraception fails. He is in a brand new relationship he is stupid for trusting her (and yes she is manipulative and I do think she is doing the wrong thing). She is not responsible for his actions if he chooses to trust her then he needs to step up and take responsibility for that trust.
    The thing is though, i'm sure this woman would lie and say it was an accident, which the guy probably would accept that and acknowledge that it takes two to tango. The reality is, he may never know that she tricked him. If a woman is that manipulative to get what she wants, god knows what kind of mother she'd be.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine Grace View Post
    The thing is though, i'm sure this woman would lie and say it was an accident, which the guy probably would accept that and acknowledge that it takes two to tango. The reality is, he may never know that she tricked him. If a woman is that manipulative to get what she wants, god knows what kind of mother she'd be.
    That's drawing an incredibly long straw..judging what kind of a parent someone is via their desperation to have a child. I am sure they would be a great parent, but that is not what we are discussing here.

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    Default What would you do in my situation!?

    Quote Originally Posted by headoverfeet View Post
    He is having consensual sex he is not giving up the right to his body he is depositing sperm inside a woman if he doesnt want to make a baby then he should abstain from sex, no contraception is 100% effective. Women are told repeatedly to use contraception and they are shamed and bullied about keeping their legs closed if they don't want a baby when contraception fails. He is in a brand new relationship he is stupid for trusting her (and yes she is manipulative and I do think she is doing the wrong thing). She is not responsible for his actions if he chooses to trust her then he needs to step up and take responsibility for that trust.
    So you think it's just to bad for him?

    See, I think that as an adult she should respect the other person and not be so damn selfish as to deceive him into thinking things are reasonably safe.

    Yes, ultimately he is responsible for his own contraception, but he believed that there is contraception in place. I dunno. It's just wrong.

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    Default Re: What would you do in my situation!?

    OP maybe send your friend some info on private sperm donation. Does she realise there's a less messy alternative?

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    Default Re: What would you do in my situation!?

    Also asked Dh

    He agrees it's disgusting.

    No matter how you twist it OP's friend is doing something despicable!

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub

  9. #76
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jakois View Post
    So you think it's just to bad for him?

    See, I think that as an adult she should respect the other person and not be so damn selfish as to deceive him into thinking things are reasonably safe.

    Yes, ultimately he is responsible for his own contraception, but he believed that there is contraception in place. I dunno. It's just wrong.
    In this particular instance? No I don't think it's really fair but he does need to take responsibility for the possibility that she may fall pregnant even on the pill. What will we see if men start bailing out of CS because they (as a general couple) were using birth control? How would CS police that?

    Of course she should.

    Yes, he is. He is also responsible if that contraception should fail is he not? If he doesn't want the responsibility of a child/CS than he shouldn't have sex, a down side to being male I guess?

    I really haven't answered the OP's question..Yes I think you should say something especially because it's such a new relationship, maybe some anonymous info on the fail rates of the pill? Or just a plain out heads up..
    Last edited by headoverfeet; 03-12-2012 at 20:03.

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    Default What would you do in my situation!?

    You have to tell the guy, it's the right thing to do but I would give your friend one more chance to have the talk with him. She should be honest or just blardy wait like the rest of the decent people out there in happy healthy relationships!
    30 is not the end of the world you need to reason with her and get her to pick up her self esteem...that's what it amounts to, she doesn't back herself to keep the guy long enough for him to want to have kids with her.
    A few years ago I was saying if I got to 32 and had no kids I would consider a donor or look into adoption - I moved to Australia, got rid of some negative people and started living my life...in no time I attracted males who were interested in me for me amazing how being happy within yourself attracts the opposite sex sounds like ur friend is not happy.

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    Default What would you do in my situation!?

    Quote Originally Posted by headoverfeet View Post
    In this particular instance? No I don't think it's really fair but he does need to take responsibility for the possibility that she may fall pregnant even on the pill. What will we see if men start bailing out of CS because they (as a general couple) were using birth control? How would CS police that?

    Of course she should.

    Yes, he is. He is also responsible if that contraception should fail is he not? If he doesn't want the responsibility of a child/CS than he shouldn't have sex, a down side to being male I guess?
    Of course CS should be paid regardless of the way the child was conceived! That's not a point that I would disagree with at all. A child needs to be supported.

    I understand that at any time contraception could fail, but when someone deliberately stops using the contraception to trick the other, well that to me is all kinds of wrong.

  12. #79
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Sorry I do want to say that I don't think it's a good way to go about bringing a child into the world, especially if she is planning on making him financially responsible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by WineTime View Post
    Lovemyfan, you've quoted me up there but thatsnot really what I was saying so I think you've misunderstood my point. Not going to get into it, but for the record I completely agree with a womans right to abort, with or without the guys approval/input. Just wanted to make that clear.

    Ib fact I shouldn't have even brought that aspect up because this is nothing to do with abortion.

    Moving on now!
    Oh no I wasnt saying women should be able to have an abortion, that is up to the individual I wasnt saying you were saying that either. I guess we are lucky as women to have a choice if someone pulls this on us but men dont have a choice and can get wrangled into a lifetime commitment by simply trusting a partner what a sad world we live in.

    Quote Originally Posted by headoverfeet View Post
    He is having consensual sex he is not giving up the right to his body he is depositing sperm inside a woman if he doesnt want to make a baby then he should abstain from sex, no contraception is 100% effective. Women are told repeatedly to use contraception and they are shamed and bullied about keeping their legs closed if they don't want a baby when contraception fails. He is in a brand new relationship he is stupid for trusting her (and yes she is manipulative and I do think she is doing the wrong thing). She is not responsible for his actions if he chooses to trust her then he needs to step up and take responsibility for that trust.
    This wont be an accident, this will be a choice made for 3 people by 1 selfish, unreliable, childish douche.

    Not to mention if she is telling people this it will get back to the kid who will most likely not forgive the mother for this, I know I couldnt and would ditch her as soon as I could and think so poorly of her.


 

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