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  1. #41
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    Default What would you do in my situation!?

    What would I do?

    Tell her she's an idiot and that it's a terrible idea during the initial conversation and then watch it play out like a car crash in slow motion because she'll do it anyway.

    I'm not taking on my friend's stupid dramas anymore. If they want a life like a Jerry Springer episode, that's their choice. I wouldn't entertain her drama when it all comes crashing down. I'd distance myself from it and probably her if our values were miles apart. I don't agree on deceiving people into parenthood.

    I wouldn't tell him though. If it happens, he is silly leaving 100% of the contraception responsibility in the hands of a chick he's known for 4 weeks too. I wouldn't get in the middle if it has the potential for you to get stressed out, victimised and attacked for your efforts.

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  3. #42
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    I also agree with everything that Winetime and Zombiekitty have said. It sounds like she really is not interested in a relationship with this guy at all, she is just using him as an unwilling sperm donor. At 4 weeks into a (real) relationship you are generally still completely besotted with your partner and can't think of anything but being with them. She obviously doesn't feel this way.
    Sounds like she wants a sperm donor but either can't be arsed finding one, or thinks it is not socially acceptable to be a single mother by choice so is trying to set up a situation where she can play the victim but still get what she wants.
    If it was me then I'd have another go at talking to her and telling her how disgusting her behaviour is. PPs have raised some other good points that you can throw into the discussion to try to persuade her to change her mind. Unfortunately, even if you tell the guy and he believes you, she will probably just dump you as a friend and find another victim to dupe. She really needs to see how wrong what she is doing is.
    Last edited by Meg2; 03-12-2012 at 18:19.

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  5. #43
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    LifeInShadesOfGrey is offline Just a little bit silly :)
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    Default What would you do in my situation!?

    It's deceitful and I think if I knew, I'd tell him. That's wrong on all levels. If she wants a baby she needs to do it honestly, not trap someone for a baby.

  6. #44
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    Default What would you do in my situation!?

    Quote Originally Posted by Baracuda View Post
    Theres nothing wrong with wanting a baby and 'using' a guy to get one at all IMO - if a woman goes out and has a one night stand with some intention if getting pregnant and no intention if involving him then so be it
    Good grief.
    Vomit.

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  8. #45
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    Default What would you do in my situation!?

    Quote Originally Posted by zombiekitty View Post
    Good grief.
    Vomit.
    Yes. Vomit indeed.

    I lose a little bit of faith in the human race when I read those kinds of things.

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    Default What would you do in my situation!?

    My ex-friend did the same thing, haven't spoken to her now in about 4 years. She's married t the guy and they have a second now but she wanted to do it with herbs and I talked her out of it then 3months later she's with someone else and utd. It sucks. It's so irresponsible. Can't stand women whose men like that!

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    Default What would you do in my situation!?

    Urgh! It's just awful.

    Regardless of whether the pill, condoms etc are 100% reliable or not, this poor bloke is under the impression he has some sort of pregnancy safety net, yes he should probably be using condoms too but tbh this is not the point.

    The point is she is deliberately setting up a situation of entrapment in a very pre-meditated way. He is not getting the whole truth, he deserves to know.

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  13. #48
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    To those people who are saying that no contraception is 100% and therefore it is his fault for not wearing a condom, I really think that is a totally unfair position. The pill is extremely effective when used properly, the risk of failure is miniscule unless the woman is being deceiptful. The only real risk that this guy is taking is trusting his girlfriend, which is not 'irresponsible' of him, it is natural response when you fall in love with someone. To blame him for a potential unwanted pregnancy is a type of victim blaming. Just like date rape isn't a woman's fault because she trusted the guy she was with, this isn't the guy's fault just because he trusted his girlfriend not to lie to him.
    Last edited by Meg2; 03-12-2012 at 18:15.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Meg2 View Post
    To those people who are saying that no contraception is 100% and therefore it is his fault for not wearing a condom, I really think that is a totally unfair position. The pill is extremely effective when used properly, the risk of failure is miniscule unless the woman is being deceiptful. The only real risk that this guy is taking is trusting his girlfriend, which is not 'irresponsible' of him, it is natural response when you fall in love with someone. To blame him for a potential unwanted pregnancy is a type of victim blaming. Most people don't think date rape is a woman's fault because she trusted the guy she was with. In the OP situation, we shouldn't blame the guy because he trusted his girlfriend not to lie to him.
    UM WTF??

    Nothing like date rape I'm afraid!!

    And they are BOTH irresponsible trusting one another not to give each other HIV, herpes, syphilis, etc after a mere month of casual sex. It might not be romantic but it's reality.

    She is acting completely immoral, he just plain old foolish.

    ETA: As for the chances of falling pregnant on the pill being miniscule, one only need to read a few bubhub threads to know that it's actually not that uncommon. No excuse for what this woman is doing, but it's a little naive to think the pill is fail safe when it quite clearly isn't.
    Last edited by Mathermy; 03-12-2012 at 18:20.

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  17. #50
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    Default What would you do in my situation!?

    I've seen threads time and again on here about how the pill definitely is not fail safe at all and fails often!! Do people have any idea how many wives deceive their husbands into deliberately getting pregnant and claiming it was an accident? I have no doubt there's plenty on this forum alone! I told the OP I think she should tell the guy because I think he should know! But I also think its about time men took some responsibility in this as well. It's ok if you don't agree! I won't resort to ridiculing other people's posts though, that's just juvenile.

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