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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by zombiekitty View Post
    I would tell him.
    I find women like your friend pathetic and revolting.
    No doubt she'd be the first to cry foul if she has a child and the father won't pay CS or see the child.
    Ugh.
    To me its the same as a guy lying and saying he's had a clear STD test, knowing he does have an STD and sleeping with his partner unprotected because they are on the pill. How can you build any kind of relationship on lies.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by headoverfeet View Post
    Agree with pretty much everything Caz has said, especially this bit! If he really doesn't want an accident he should not have sex. IMO if he is willing to have sex with someone then he should understand that he has no right to say what happens with the end product (pregnancy).
    So you'd apply this same logic if the situation were reversed? If he told her he were using a condom and then sabotaged it in some way because he wanted a child you'd say its tough luck for her because she should've been on the pill as well?
    Does she not have a say in the end result (pregnancy)? Or can she then choose to have an abortion (without his consent), an option not available to the man in the OP.

  3. #23
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    The fact is this chick is taking away his options, and thats not fair.

    If he knew she was trying to get pregnant he might leave. He might stop having sex with her. He might wear 5 condoms. Hell he might even say bring it on lady and get right on board.

    If she gets pregnant, theres no accident about it.

    And he has a right to know. End of story. He deserves to make a decision on whether he's having sex with the statistically remote possibility of pregnancy due to a correctly used contraceptive, or a much higher possibility because it's unprotected sex.

    In short, he deserves the right to make an informed decision, the same right we'd want any woman to have. Equality and bodily autonomy for everyone, remember? Not just women.
    Last edited by WineTime; 03-12-2012 at 15:28.

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  5. #24
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    Default What would you do in my situation!?

    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine Grace View Post
    To me its the same as a guy lying and saying he's had a clear STD test, knowing he does have an STD and sleeping with his partner unprotected because they are on the pill. How can you build any kind of relationship on lies.
    Its so revolting.

  6. #25
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    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    Default Re: What would you do in my situation!?

    It's wrong, it's deceitful (sp?) Etc etc, that's just obvious. And I would also be concerned that she barely knows this guy, but she is thinking of doing something that will bind her to him for the rest of her life? She is a fool, sorry! It's unfair on any future child.

    I don't think I would be able to stand by and watch someone do that. It's so wrong on so many levels.

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  8. #26
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine Grace View Post
    How can you build any kind of relationship on lies.
    Yep!
    Quote Originally Posted by WineTime View Post
    So you'd apply this same logic if the situation were reversed? If he told her he were using a condom and then sabotaged it in some way because he wanted a child you'd say its tough luck for her because she should've been on the pill as well? Yep (I wouldn't say tough luck though and yes she should take responsibility for her actions or lack of actions as well).
    Does she not have a say in the end result (pregnancy)? Yep
    Or can she then choose to have an abortion (without his consent), an option not available to the man in the OP. Yep she can. Of course being the one carrying the pregnancy she is the one who gets to say what happens to it!
    Unfortunetly no form of birth control is 100% (I wish!) If your going to have sex then it could always result in a pregnancy. It's the woman's choice what happens to that pregnancy.
    Last edited by headoverfeet; 03-12-2012 at 15:58.

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    the scary thing is, we get to debate this issue on here, see what we think. This guy is totally in the dark. He's going to get told it was an accident if it happens, when really he's been trapped.

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    You know, I have NEVER in my life said this. But I think this deserves it.

    They really need to start issuing licences for people who want to have kids. This chick has got some appalling judgement and it's very obvious that parenting should not be added to her resume at this stage.

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    Only 4 weeks into the relationship and they're not using condoms as well? I hope they had std tests before doing away with the condoms. I'd be reminding my friend that stds are on the increase for a start...

    And then I'd be warning her about the risks involved in deceitfully getting a pregnant to someone she doesn't know very well. What if instead of disappearing and leaving her to raise the child alone he goes for joint custody and then turns out to have opposite values to her? What if he smacks, and yells, and believes in a host of things she doesn't? She may feel okay about going it alone, but how will she cope with co parenting?

    And what if she did things a different way: say, decided to talk to him, see how he feels about kids, and it turns out he's clucky and wants kids in 6 months or so? How good could it be if she talked to him, discussed their ideas about raising kids, and then made a joint decision? How much better would that feel?

    If all that failed I'd have a hard time staying friends with her and keeping quiet. She's being hugely irresponsible.

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  15. #30
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by WineTime View Post
    You know, I have NEVER in my life said this. But I think this deserves it.

    They really need to start issuing licences for people who want to have kids. This chick has got some appalling judgement and it's very obvious that parenting should not be added to her resume at this stage.
    I don't think we need licences to put it simply if a guy is going to deposit his sperm inside a woman then he needs to know that the product become the womans to do with as she see fit. With this comes the responsibility to try to prevent pregnancy happening if you don't want to be pregnant and the responsibility of ending the pregnancy or to see the child taken care of after birth.

    I hope that sounds right!


 

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