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  1. #141
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    Oh just an old thread where it was said to other that a man cant be tricked into getting someone pregnant that its his fault for it ever happening is all.
    Well it would be his responsiblity because it's his body...same for a woman. You can only trick those who are irresponsible. So people who aren't taking their own fertility into their own hands - Yes you can trick them but who's to blame really? The person who tricked or the person who didn't protect themselves by using contraception.

    We all know that sex makes babies. So when you have sex this is the risk YOU take. This is YOUR responsibility...the onus is on YOU to make sure that pregnancy doesn't. If you don't want to be a parent yet then there are things YOU need to do. It's wrong for this woman to want to try and trick this man...but it's equally wrong that this man isn't taking the initiative in protecting himself. The same if it were reversed.

    I think the ONLY time when the responsibility is primarily on the 'tricker' is if they tampered with the person's contraception. So if someone poked holes in condoms or swapped the pills and made them all sugar pills or something or other.

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  3. #142
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    Default What would you do in my situation!?

    I haven't read the whole thread so this has probably already been mentioned...but somebody please think of the potential baby/babies here.

    Having a father that doesn't want you really sucks, and having children with a man who doesn't want them is even worse.

    I hope that if you don't want to alert the potential father to the situation, then you'll at least talk to your friend about these things.
    It's selfish for her to do this...on so many levels

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  5. #143
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    and all that the Lorax left here in this mess was a small pile of rocks with the one word...UNLESS
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    So something we all have learned from this thread is that every couple should be using at least two forms of contraception if they want to ensure no baby. One for the man and one for the woman.

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  7. #144
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    Quote Originally Posted by pegasus View Post
    So something we all have learned from this thread is that every couple should be using at least two forms of contraception if they want to ensure no baby. One for the man and one for the woman.
    that's what I always did unless a long-term stable relationship where a baby wouldn't have been unwelcomed.

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    Default What would you do in my situation!?

    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    Well it would be his responsiblity because it's his body...same for a woman. You can only trick those who are irresponsible. So people who aren't taking their own fertility into their own hands - Yes you can trick them but who's to blame really? The person who tricked or the person who didn't protect themselves by using contraception.

    We all know that sex makes babies. So when you have sex this is the risk YOU take. This is YOUR responsibility...the onus is on YOU to make sure that pregnancy doesn't. If you don't want to be a parent yet then there are things YOU need to do. It's wrong for this woman to want to try and trick this man...but it's equally wrong that this man isn't taking the initiative in protecting himself. The same if it were reversed.

    I think the ONLY time when the responsibility is primarily on the 'tricker' is if they tampered with the person's contraception. So if someone poked holes in condoms or swapped the pills and made them all sugar pills or something or other.
    So if my DH trusts me to take the pill (which he does) this makes him irresponsible?
    Sorry, I don't agree with this viewpoint that many PP's have expressed.
    If two people are sleeping together and one person willingly assumes responsibility for contraception, and they are trusted to do so by their partner, and then they go and throw out their pills or poke holes in their condoms or whatever, then that person HAS tricked the other partner and completely betrayed their trust.
    I do think 4 weeks is a very short time to trust someone that much, but it's not unknown. My DH and I were relying on my pill at this stage of our relationship because there was a huge amount of trust there from the start. Maybe this man feels the same. For his sake I hope someone shines a light on the truth pretty soon.

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  10. #146
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    I do think someone should tell him tbh If my DP told me he was taking the male pill (which is likely to happen soon) I'd trust him to take it, but I'd trust him knowing that it isn't 100% effective. Would I trust him to take it properly, never skip one, not forget when on ABs? Err I'd trust him with my life but not with that lol.

    I'm probably overly-cautious though. I always used condoms despite having an IUD unless it was a very long-term partner.

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    Quote Originally Posted by pegasus View Post
    So something we all have learned from this thread is that every couple should be using at least two forms of contraception if they want to ensure no baby. One for the man and one for the woman.
    HAHA! I can guarentee you i never did! I made sure i was on a contraceptive but seriously, how many people IRL do you know that double up on contraception?

    Its is down to a matter of trust and if someone is going to betray that trust, should the other party be told. YES.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    So if my DH trusts me to take the pill (which he does) this makes him irresponsible?
    Sorry, I don't agree with this viewpoint that many PP's have expressed.
    If two people are sleeping together and one person willingly assumes responsibility for contraception, and they are trusted to do so by their partner, and then they go and throw out their pills or poke holes in their condoms or whatever, then that person HAS tricked the other partner and completely betrayed their trust.
    I do think 4 weeks is a very short time to trust someone that much, but it's not unknown. My DH and I were relying on my pill at this stage of our relationship because there was a huge amount of trust there from the start. Maybe this man feels the same. For his sake I hope someone shines a light on the truth pretty soon.
    In this scenario the victim isn't a dh...he's a boyfriend of 4 weeks for starters Another point is that if YOUR dh was dead set against having children then he needs to take this into his own hands. If he CHOOSES to trust you...that's fine. But if something goes wrong and you fall pregnant anyway then he must never BLAME you...do you see what I'm saying? Having said that though, there is no reason why a married couple should not trust each other unless there are issues in the marriage, in which case it would be irresponsible for either of them to not cover their own butts. But if you were dating and just starting a relationship, it'd be stupid to trust the person as of yet.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I do think someone should tell him tbh If my DP told me he was taking the male pill (which is likely to happen soon) I'd trust him to take it, but I'd trust him knowing that it isn't 100% effective. Would I trust him to take it properly, never skip one, not forget when on ABs? Err I'd trust him with my life but not with that lol.

    I'm probably overly-cautious though. I always used condoms despite having an IUD unless it was a very long-term partner.
    Yeh good point...trust the person to not forget on occasion or to take it properly? Can any of us really 100% trust our other halves that they wouldn't stuff up from time to time?

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    I think everyone agrees that what that lady is doing is wrong.

    Sadly I have heard the same story many time before though so yes - if I were a man that doesn't want a baby - I would double up on contraception.
    I have always been told to use pill + condoms (as pill is not 100% efficient and does not protect from STDs), unless in committed relationship where both partners have been tested and are ok to deal with the possibility of a pill baby...

    I do hope for the sake of everyone involves in OP's story that OP's friend does not fall pregnant.

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