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  1. #1
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    Default When does the loneliness disappear??

    DH left 2mths ago with no warning. A few of you are already familiar with my story I have a 15mth DS and I'm 25wks pregnant - unplanned, which played a huge part in him leaving.

    I'm feeling incredibly lonely still and constantly feel in pain, like a dull ache in my heart all day. I miss having someone to talk to each evening, or the comfort of knowing someone else is in the house, even if conversation was light on in the last few months together. I'm not eating properly because I don't have the energy or motivation to cook just for myself. I miss being able to run to the shops quickly, or have a decent shower. I miss the everyday things you take for granted when you're a couple/family.

    If I'm struggling now, I'm very worried about when bub2 arrives in 3mths time. I know I'll somehow cope because I have no choice, but I'm worried I'll never feel 'happy' again. I miss being a family and haven't been single for 20yrs - I've always gone from one relationship to another pretty quickly. No one is going to want to take on a single mum with an 18mth old and newborn! I dread the idea of being single indefinitely. I don't have any single friends in the same state for company either.

    How long did it take for you to get past the loneliness? How long before you felt at peace with being a single mum? What are the advantages of not having a partner around (if any)?

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    LifeInShadesOfGrey is offline Just a little bit silly :)
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    Default When does the loneliness disappear??

    I don't have advice sorry but I wanted to just offer massive hugs. I know how difficult it was for my parents when they split and mum just had us kids for a long time. But she managed and you will too. You won't be lonely forever. There's someone for everyone. Just think of that beautiful baby joining your family soon.

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    Default When does the loneliness disappear??

    Hun I could have written your post as recently as a month ago.
    You just need to take it one day at a time. I am not going to lie it is going to suck for a little while longer, and it's almost like you will go trough the stages of grief. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel! I can promise you that!! If you want to talk please PM me.

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    Hugs xxx

    It will get easier over time. I was single and pregnant with my second too, and I think the pregnancy hormones amplified the feelings. I felt MUCH better once DD was born and the pregnancy hormones wore off. Not sure what else to say as everyone's journey is different, but hang in there. You will not be single forever, and in the mean time you will start to see positives about being single.

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    The loneliness is still there for me, it's been 3 years since he left.
    It's hard but you get use to it. Not what you wanted to hear but I just wanted to send some hugs

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    Default When does the loneliness disappear??

    I'm single and I love it. I do get lonely sometimes, but people in relationships get lonely too.

    I think as your kids get older it gets a lot better. For one, you will be able to have conversations with them!

    And don't see having a relationship as being "taken on". The right person will be lucky to have you.

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    Default When does the loneliness disappear??

    Thanks everyone. Hollywood I've actually been wondering if the hormones are making me worse! I've never felt this way before, I just struggle to feel happy and clearheaded. I feel as though I'm constantly putting on a brave face.

    My family are great, but there's only so much you can dump on them - they have their own lives. They have all struggled to accept my DH doing this too, so always ask 'have you heard anything', 'any chance he'll come back' etc etc It drives me nuts - I know they care but I don't want to talk about it every time!

    I can't help but sometimes wish I wasn't pregnant - which then just makes me feel AWFUL. I know when he arrives I'll love him unconditionally, but at the moment I'm dreading all the hard work coming my way with 2 under 2 on my own. Sometimes I think how much easier it would be if it was just DS1 and I that he was leaving - if that even makes sense.

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    Default When does the loneliness disappear??

    [QUOTE=Pesca77;6939572]Thanks everyone. Hollywood I've actually been wondering if the hormones are making me worse! I've never felt this way before, I just struggle to feel happy and clearheaded. I feel as though I'm constantly putting on a brave face.

    My family are great, but there's only so much you can dump on them - they have their own lives. They have all struggled to accept my DH doing this too, so always ask 'have you heard anything', 'any chance he'll come back' etc etc It drives me nuts - I know they care but I don't want to talk about it every time!

    I can't help but sometimes wish I wasn't pregnant - which then just makes me feel AWFUL. I know when he arrives I'll love him unconditionally, but at the moment I'm dreading all the hard work coming my way with 2 under 2 on my own. Sometimes I think how much easier it would be if it was just DS1 and I that he was leaving - if that even makes sense.[/

    You make HEAPS of Sence to me... I am having #3 and my other two are 14 months and just under 4
    And family is hard when they understand as much as you do and you fell like you have put enough on them. I feel guilty even saying anything about 'him' anymore
    Thinks will get better....

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    Default When does the loneliness disappear??

    Quote Originally Posted by Pesca77 View Post
    Thanks everyone. Hollywood I've actually been wondering if the hormones are making me worse! I've never felt this way before, I just struggle to feel happy and clearheaded. I feel as though I'm constantly putting on a brave face.

    My family are great, but there's only so much you can dump on them - they have their own lives. They have all struggled to accept my DH doing this too, so always ask 'have you heard anything', 'any chance he'll come back' etc etc It drives me nuts - I know they care but I don't want to talk about it every time!

    I can't help but sometimes wish I wasn't pregnant - which then just makes me feel AWFUL. I know when he arrives I'll love him unconditionally, but at the moment I'm dreading all the hard work coming my way with 2 under 2 on my own. Sometimes I think how much easier it would be if it was just DS1 and I that he was leaving - if that even makes sense.
    It's actually great for both of your kids that you're having another, you'll find that they will keep each other company and play together and won't be lonely. That's a big positive right there.

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    Pesca77  (03-12-2012)

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    I was on my own from 16 weeks preg with number 2
    I guess I was lonely until I worked out things to do once the kids were in bed for the night. They were in bed from 6pm which left my nights long and lonely. I took up a range of hobbies, made sure I had books to read, hired series from the dvd shop...anything to keep me busy. Days were easier with playgroups, etc, then I went back to work when DD2 was 5 months old which gave me some time out too.

    Its a very hard time pregnant on your own but it will get better


 

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