+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 14
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    1,320
    Thanks
    1,004
    Thanked
    783
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default MIL, baby sitting, hangover, advise and VENT.

    I asked MIL last week if she could watch dd tomorrow as we have a rental inspection on Tuesday, I wanted to just have a few hours to get all the cleaning done with out dd around to make it a longer experience, plus dd loves MIL so I thought it would be a good idea.
    Even though I would just be cleaning it would still be seen as a nice break for me.

    Tonight Dh received a SMS from him mother saying; "LOL hopefully I can look after X tomorrow. Your mummy is so drunk lol"
    That's all the message said..

    MIL is not a frequent drinker, but if her and FIL get into a fight she will drink until she passes out, starts fights etc and it brings everyone down.
    This will happen about once every 2-3 months.
    It's never happened the day before she is suppose to be looking after my 22mo.. And never on a Sunday night.
    It's usually a Friday night once FIL gets home from working away.

    A few issues I have.
    - I do NOT want her looking after dd if she has a hang over, hangovers effect her badly and I don't want dd to see her like that, plus I don't see it as a safe environment.
    if she keeps drinking all night she will most likely still be drunk when I drop dd over, I don't really need to go into why I wouldn't want her looking after dd on that point.
    My husband feels the same as me, he has already said under no circumstances is MIL to babysit tomorrow. We both feel the same so all good. I will have dd tomorrow, I have no issues with our decision.

    - MIL can be a very fiery woman, so add alcohol to that mix and she is unpredictable.
    If we just say "You are not looking after dd tomorrow" it will start a huge fight.
    So we are ignoring the text and ill just have DD tomorrow and we will wait a few days to contact MIL.
    I hate that fights with her can get started so easily over alcohol, it's such an unwanted stress, mil can be the most loving and caring woman.. But when she does drink, which isn't often.. It's a total nightmare.
    I don't know if you would call her a binge drinker?

    HOWEVER there is 1 thing that has me very worried right now and I don't know how to approach this situation
    MIL has a 5yo little boy.
    He has school tomorrow.. They live about a 15 min drive away from the school, 5yo BIL loves school, and has an excursion tomorrow so he will be nagging MIL to take him to school.. I know he won't be staying home which means MIL will be driving.
    I'm worried about her driving, I'm worried about BIL and I'm worried about all the other people on the road.
    My husband wants to take his brother to school tomorrow, but that means he will have to take time out of work, my husbands work is 45mins away from the school.. Plus the 30 min drive out to his mums house..
    We only have 1 car so if I was to take BIL to school it would still stuff up DH's work, Dh has an important meeting in the morning as well with his boss and some clients..
    I'm unsure what to do.
    Some options are
    -Call FIL and ask more about what's going on over there, who will be taking BIL to school etc.

    - call my mum who lives down the road from MIL and ask her to take BIL to school.
    I'm afraid of my mum getting her head bitten off by MIL, or MIL refusing to let her drive her son to school... Especially if she is still drunk.
    I don't want to bring my mum into all this. But it's a safe option.

    - Dh just to miss out on work in the morning and afternoon.. And his meeting.
    Not ideal!! But once again a safer option.

    - I could take BIL to school but I would need the car, meaning I would be dropping Dh off at the crack of dawn, picking him up late from work and missing out on the house cleaning after all that driving around.
    Annoying for me!!! But more sensible for every one involved.

    I suppose I'm just ****ed off by it all.
    Worried about BIL.. And ****ed off that we are left once again being effected by MIL.
    She is lovely yes, but she kind of expects DH to just come to her rescue all the time, during these drunken fights DH is the only one of his siblings to have to deal with all of it.. Phone calls from MIL, drunken tears and fights.. Only for her to sober up and be 'holier than thou' and go back to being a hard core daughter of Christ and telling Dh how everything is finally good.. Then back to fights.. It's a roller coaster for my DH and I'm afraid it's now effecting my DD.
    She will be devastated when I have to tell her in the morning she won't be going to MILs.. And I'll be the bad one

    Sorry so many things to vent about.. My min is racing with many emotions right now.


    *Sorry for the typos*

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,219
    Thanks
    2,842
    Thanked
    1,467
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    500 Posts in a week
    400 Posts in a week300 posts in a week200 Posts in a week100 Posts in a weekFunniest Caption

    Default Re: MIL, baby sitting, hangover, advise and VENT.

    Wow I just wanted to say I really feel for you. I think the best option would be to either ask your mum to take bil to school and apologise/warn her or call fil to find out what's going on.

    Sent from my GT-I9300T using BubHub

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    986
    Thanks
    17
    Thanked
    230
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default MIL, baby sitting, hangover, advise and VENT.

    Can your Mum come over and watch your DD and you take her car to take BIL to school?

    I feel for you - what a crappy situation

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MinnieMouse81 For This Useful Post:

    CazHazKidz  (05-12-2012),missie_mackxxxx  (05-12-2012)

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Bayside Brisbane
    Posts
    7,025
    Thanks
    1,230
    Thanked
    1,956
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    ^ That sounds like a perfect idea!!

    Your MIL sounds very difficult, it would be hard dealing with that all the time. Regardless of how lovely she is when she's sober, it's a lot of drama! Good on you for trying to do the right thing by your BIL

  6. #5
    αληθη's Avatar
    αληθη is offline BH name read as Aleethee
    Winner 2012 - One most likely to be hacked by Nomsie
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    2,961
    Thanks
    3,031
    Thanked
    805
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default MIL, baby sitting, hangover, advise and VENT.

    Quote Originally Posted by MinnieMouse81 View Post
    Can your Mum come over and watch your DD and you take her car to take BIL to school?

    I feel for you - what a crappy situation
    I agree this sounds like a great idea if your mum would be okay with it too?

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    6,718
    Thanks
    3,789
    Thanked
    3,838
    Reviews
    17
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 14/11/14100 Posts in a week

    Default Re: MIL, baby sitting, hangover, advise and VENT.

    This was started on Sunday, with the MIL babysitting Monday.

    How did you go OP?

    Sent from my magical black talky thingy using BubHub

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Bayside Brisbane
    Posts
    7,025
    Thanks
    1,230
    Thanked
    1,956
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    hahah oops, just saw it in new posts and didn't even look at the dates.

    Hope it all went ok

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to CazHazKidz For This Useful Post:

    DesperatelySeekingSleep  (05-12-2012)

  10. #8
    αληθη's Avatar
    αληθη is offline BH name read as Aleethee
    Winner 2012 - One most likely to be hacked by Nomsie
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    2,961
    Thanks
    3,031
    Thanked
    805
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default MIL, baby sitting, hangover, advise and VENT.

    Quote Originally Posted by CazHazKidz View Post
    hahah oops, just saw it in new posts and didn't even look at the dates.

    Hope it all went ok
    Oh me too.
    What ended up happening OP?

  11. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    1,320
    Thanks
    1,004
    Thanked
    783
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default MIL, baby sitting, hangover, advise and VENT.

    Lol!
    Ahhh... Well I asked mum to watch dd like PP said.
    All good mum said yes.
    MIL was being difficult, spoke to FIL who said BIL wouldn't be going to school the next day and not to stress..
    I offered to drive BIL but I don't know they all harped on about how I see them as incapable umm yeah your son is missing out on his end of year school excursion because you got hammered on a school night!

    Any way the whole thing was that BIL wasn't going to school all good.. No danger on the road.
    Not my issues really that BIL was upset about missing school.. What could I do? I couldn't steal him an take him to school so I left it with the intention everyone would be at home..

    At about 11am Monday morning I see on facebook that MIL took BIL out to a theme park.. 2 hour drive :what:
    I straight out asked who drove... Wait for it... Her daughter drove WHO IS ON HER LEARNERS she only got her L plates last month for gods sake! She was driving a long way, with no driving experience from a driving school, she took long enough to get her L plates as she suffered anxiety with cars/driving.. And her mum (the only one supervising her driving) was either hung over or still drunk.. AND this was the FIRST time SIL was driving a manual.. With a 5yo in the car..
    MIL said she still felt woozy so SIL drove... At that point I just threw my hands in the air and called Dh to tell him I'm done.. Done caring! Done trying to make sure all is safe! Ugh!

    None of my husbands siblings ever "Step up" he is the eldest.. I'm just over it.

    I didn't get much cleaning done for the rental inspection done after all that drama..
    I just want to forget about them all and put them in the to hard basket.

    She is lovely.. But faaaark!

  12. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Bayside Brisbane
    Posts
    7,025
    Thanks
    1,230
    Thanked
    1,956
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    OMG! That is terrible!!!


 

Similar Threads

  1. Baby sitting duties
    By DesperatelySeekingSleep in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 04-11-2012, 15:51
  2. im sitting here at home alone with my baby boy again .........
    By the balloon in forum Issues with Family Members
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 06-09-2012, 09:46

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Bamboo Lulu
Super soft, fun prints & basics for baby, made from bamboo & organic cotton plus non-toxic wooden toys. • Hypoallergenic - perfect for eczema relief • Everything needed to shop for a baby shower • 10% off + FREE gift with purchase. Use code BUBHUB
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
Mini Maestros
Nurturing Confident Learners. Mini Maestros offers music classes for children 6 months to 5 years of age. It is the longest running and most successful Australian business of its kind.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!