I asked MIL last week if she could watch dd tomorrow as we have a rental inspection on Tuesday, I wanted to just have a few hours to get all the cleaning done with out dd around to make it a longer experience, plus dd loves MIL so I thought it would be a good idea.
Even though I would just be cleaning it would still be seen as a nice break for me.
Tonight Dh received a SMS from him mother saying; "LOL hopefully I can look after X tomorrow. Your mummy is so drunk lol"
That's all the message said..
MIL is not a frequent drinker, but if her and FIL get into a fight she will drink until she passes out, starts fights etc and it brings everyone down.
This will happen about once every 2-3 months.
It's never happened the day before she is suppose to be looking after my 22mo.. And never on a Sunday night.
It's usually a Friday night once FIL gets home from working away.
A few issues I have.
- I do NOT want her looking after dd if she has a hang over, hangovers effect her badly and I don't want dd to see her like that, plus I don't see it as a safe environment.
if she keeps drinking all night she will most likely still be drunk when I drop dd over, I don't really need to go into why I wouldn't want her looking after dd on that point.
My husband feels the same as me, he has already said under no circumstances is MIL to babysit tomorrow. We both feel the same so all good. I will have dd tomorrow, I have no issues with our decision.
- MIL can be a very fiery woman, so add alcohol to that mix and she is unpredictable.
If we just say "You are not looking after dd tomorrow" it will start a huge fight.
So we are ignoring the text and ill just have DD tomorrow and we will wait a few days to contact MIL.
I hate that fights with her can get started so easily over alcohol, it's such an unwanted stress, mil can be the most loving and caring woman.. But when she does drink, which isn't often.. It's a total nightmare.
I don't know if you would call her a binge drinker?
HOWEVER there is 1 thing that has me very worried right now and I don't know how to approach this situation
MIL has a 5yo little boy.
He has school tomorrow.. They live about a 15 min drive away from the school, 5yo BIL loves school, and has an excursion tomorrow so he will be nagging MIL to take him to school.. I know he won't be staying home which means MIL will be driving.
I'm worried about her driving, I'm worried about BIL and I'm worried about all the other people on the road.
My husband wants to take his brother to school tomorrow, but that means he will have to take time out of work, my husbands work is 45mins away from the school.. Plus the 30 min drive out to his mums house..
We only have 1 car so if I was to take BIL to school it would still stuff up DH's work, Dh has an important meeting in the morning as well with his boss and some clients..
I'm unsure what to do.
Some options are
-Call FIL and ask more about what's going on over there, who will be taking BIL to school etc.
- call my mum who lives down the road from MIL and ask her to take BIL to school.
I'm afraid of my mum getting her head bitten off by MIL, or MIL refusing to let her drive her son to school... Especially if she is still drunk.
I don't want to bring my mum into all this. But it's a safe option.
- Dh just to miss out on work in the morning and afternoon.. And his meeting.
Not ideal!! But once again a safer option.
- I could take BIL to school but I would need the car, meaning I would be dropping Dh off at the crack of dawn, picking him up late from work and missing out on the house cleaning after all that driving around.
Annoying for me!!! But more sensible for every one involved.
I suppose I'm just ****ed off by it all.
Worried about BIL.. And ****ed off that we are left once again being effected by MIL.
She is lovely yes, but she kind of expects DH to just come to her rescue all the time, during these drunken fights DH is the only one of his siblings to have to deal with all of it.. Phone calls from MIL, drunken tears and fights.. Only for her to sober up and be 'holier than thou' and go back to being a hard core daughter of Christ and telling Dh how everything is finally good.. Then back to fights.. It's a roller coaster for my DH and I'm afraid it's now effecting my DD.
She will be devastated when I have to tell her in the morning she won't be going to MILs.. And I'll be the bad one
Sorry so many things to vent about.. My min is racing with many emotions right now.
*Sorry for the typos*