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  1. #11
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    Oh, I hate it when your posts disappear. Thanks for writing it again!
    Unfortunately, my hubby forgot to take his referral to the radiologist and as we live 20 min away he didn't have time to come back before closing time- that made for a very cranky man. He's booked in again for 3 days time.
    I will make an appointment with the FS tomorrow, as we are getting the referral this week. My sister in law went through Dr Robert Woolcott, he works with Genea and is a little closer to us, plus there is a connected fertility centre only 3 hours away, so this would save some travel time. He sounds like he would be good, and she gave him the highest praises, although they had entirely different issues.
    Patience is the key here.

    Quote Originally Posted by veggiemama View Post
    Crap, I just wrote a big post went to hit send and I lost it all!! Argh... sorry, basically I was writing to say so sorry you had bad news today, but also it sounds like the GP has no clue about MFI so take it with a grain of salt until you can see a FS. Have you tried to make an appt yet? I think the sooner you get in with someone who knows what they are on about the better! How did your DHs ultrasound go today? I'm an IVF nurse and while MFI is not my speciality, I work with some really lovely consultants who do specialise in it and they are really passionate about it. They often do teaching sessions etc for the nurses and I have assisted with quite a few testicular biopsies over the years. I don't know the FS that you mentioned, but I just googled him and someone with that kind of experience is exactly what you need. I also think it would be worth seeking out some supportive counselling from the clinic to help you work through some of the emotions and decisions involved in the whole process. I have a friend who did need donor sperm and she was able to use her husband's brother, so they now have 3 beautiful children who are genetically related to her husband. If that is the road you need to go down then there's a lot of discussion and thought that needs to go into it, but wait until you get an idea of the full picture from the FS. Fingers crossed you get some answers soon and I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time at the moment - having an unhelpful GP cannot be helping.

  2. #12
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    Hi Safam,
    Thanks for explaining your situation. From reading online it seems many GPs have less than desirable methods of dealing with this issue. It must be very scary for men to share this whilst dating, I hate to imagine. Especially when they have had a wife react to poorly in the past!
    My hubby is very up-and-down at the moment. I think it is going to be a difficult year ahead, but it should make our marriage stronger.
    Is your hubby's condition sertoli cell only syndrome? Was his condition diagnosed through chromosome analysis?
    How did he deal with using a donor? I guess he had time to deal with the condition a little before you met, as at this point in time my hubby is at the point where he says if no sperm is found he doesn't want to adopt or use a donor, which is difficult for me to hear as like most, it's my dream to have children.
    And very importantly, congratulations on your twin boys. What a reward after a difficult situation.
    Quote Originally Posted by safam View Post
    Hi OptomisticAussie, we have been down a similar road to you and it sucks. Hang in there though, tackling each small step at a time helps
    My husband knew he had a zero count before we got married but he didn't know why. It broke up his first marriage because his ex couldn't cope with the idea of fertility treatments of any kind. I remember the day he told me about it when we were still dating and he was terrified that I would leave him.
    When we went to see his GP for a referral, the response we got was: "Well, I COULD give you a referral to a specialist, but to be honest you should probably just accept it" Umm....WHAT????
    Hubby's hormones and everything were fine, but there is some kind of cell that works with other cells to make sperm that he doesn't have, it's a condition he was born with. We went through all the same testing as you, including the ultrasounds and bloodwork, an attempt at TESA and a full open biopsy to try and find something. For us the answer was no, but earlier this year we welcomed an amazing set of twin boys conceived using a donor.
    How is your husband doing now? Depression is a sneaky word-I-won't-use, and careless words from heartless GPs don't help. Hope he is recovering well.

  3. #13
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    Hi, I'll write more later this evening after all the usual daily mayhem has died down, but I just wanted to quickly say that my husband was absolutely dead set against using a donor at first - so don't give up hope! Getting to the point where we felt comfortable using a donor took a long time and lots of heartache and tears from both sides, but it was 100% worth it. I hope that is some encouragement or comfort to you - will add more later!

  4. #14
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    Sorry for the brief message earlier, just wanted to send a quick message of support while I had a minute. I’m not sure if my hubby has sertoli cell only syndrome, the Dr didn’t give us a name for his problem. I have googled it and it does seem to fit in with what he has, so quite possibly. His condition was diagnosed when he had his second biopsy. Quite a bit of tissue was taken and thoroughly searched for sperm but there was none there.
    To answer your question on how he dealt with using a donor – it was definitely a long road. He flat out refused to consider it at first, and I was ok with that because we had decided that our next step would be to adopt. As we became more educated we realised that wow – adoption is so expensive and absurdly invasive into the lives of anyone considering it. There was no way we could afford it, nor were we keen on having our home and lives examined, and even then there are no guarantees that we would be granted a child before we became too old to qualify. We are only in our early 30s but the wait can be so long. So we went back to the donor option. There were a lot of concerns he had, like would the baby bond better with me, or would it be just plain weird during the pregnancy, etc. The main thing it took was TIME. Time to discuss and tackle these issues one by one, and time to see our counsellor, and time to first disagree emotionally and then talk about it without emotion! Time for him to grieve for the loss of the family he had imagined and adjust to a new idea.
    Thanks for the congrats on our boys! They are our whole world and my husband now realises that being a father has nothing to do with getting a woman pregnant, but has everything to do with ultrasounds, morning sickness, dirty nappies and sleepless nights. He is an amazing dad and whenever we go out he is showered with compliments on how much his sons look like him. I know he treasures those comments.
    It sounds like you are doing a fabulous job supporting your husband and you have such a positive outlook, knowing that it will make your marriage stronger. So glad your husband is doing better, keep us posted on your journey

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to safam For This Useful Post:

    OptimisticAussie  (24-01-2013)

  6. #15
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    OptimisticAussie - sorry I didn't see this thead. Most of the discussion around this stuff is on the IVF boards. I'm so sorry for what that doctor said to you guys, and for the news about your husband. Mine has the Sertoli cell only syndrome too.

    He had a fine needle aspiration and biopsy with Dr Lok at Genea, looking for testicular sperm. Nothing. Then it was suggested he see Dr Golovsky at IVFA, as he is really the true specialist in this area (is that who you were thinking of?). Dr G ran a few more tests, and couldn't find anything to indicate why DH would have no sperm. he felt he had a good chance of finding some through a microdissection, so DH underwent that procedure. Unfortunately none was found, and we are using donor sperm. I hope that your DH thinks about it some more, and realises that even if he doesn't have any sperm to be found it is not worth taking his life for. We are very hopeful of success with donor sperm, and DH will 100% be the father. Sperm does not make a father.

  7. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to peoniesarepretty For This Useful Post:

    MGC Bertie  (25-01-2013),OptimisticAussie  (24-01-2013)

  8. #16
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    Hi OptimisticAussie

    I know exactly what you are goimg through!!! My DH is 27 and has azoospermia as well. It has been the most devasting news we have had to deal with. You think why him? Why us? How unfair it is and how could this happen???
    We found out in October so all this has been new for us. He had a semen test as we had been trying for a few months with nothing happening. We origianlly went to the Drs just to get a refferal to see a Gyno because I was sure I wasnt ovulating regularly. They ran a semen test just so we had it to go to the Gyno. He went down and got the results by himself as I had to work. The Dr told him it wasn't anythig to worry about they would do another test cause sometimes they can get it wrong. So we did another one the following week and it came back the same. During this time I think i read every internet site about it!!
    We came across IVF Australia who had Dr Perrson who said he specialised in MFI. We got an appoinment with him that week. Like you we are a distance from Sydney (3 hrs) we could of tried and IVF place closer but we knew we wanted people who knew the most about it.
    Anyway to try and cut a long story short we saw him he ran all the testing and there is no known reason for my DH azoo. He said when he was developing in the womb something went wrong and it doesn't work.
    We are now going to see Dr Golovsky at IVFA and i cant recommend him enough. My DH is going in to have his testes cut open and they will spend hours searching through the tubes to try and find any sperm that they can use and ill have my eggs taken out the same day

    I cant recommened IVFA enough and Dr Golovsky. If you can, get there see them. We are now just waiting to hear from the nurses about when they can organise to do the surgery hopefully it will be soon.

    We are also on the donor waiting list cause we know our chances arent good (20%) so have to wait and see.

    It sucks doesn't it!!

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  10. #17
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    Hi there,
    Have you had any more updates?
    My husband and I went to our first appt with a FS specialist yesterday- Dr Robert Woolcott (Newcastle-Genea). He got blood tests yesterday to check chromosome abnormalities, and as you're probably aware the results take 3-4 weeks. We were told that if this is okay, we have a 70% chance of sperm retrieval. I wonder why your doctors prediction is much lower in your case. Can you please tell me how your husband reacted to sperm donor. Our DHs are the same age so I'd like to know how you're going.
    I hope you have a surgery date set.
    Please keep in contact.

  11. #18
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    Hi,
    I know you're right about the donor sperm, but whenever it is mentioned by husband closes up and gets very upset. He said yesterday that he would prefer to never have children that to have someone elses and that he would never love the child as he'd view it as me having an affair. I know this is irrational and we still have hope of finding sperm, but if we don't I hope he comes around as it'll be tough on our marriage if he denies me the chance to have a family.
    Best of luck, I really hope it works out for you.

  12. #19
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    Your post has made me cry happy tears.
    I'm so glad it worked out and you both are so happy.

    Quote Originally Posted by safam View Post
    Sorry for the brief message earlier, just wanted to send a quick message of support while I had a minute. I’m not sure if my hubby has sertoli cell only syndrome, the Dr didn’t give us a name for his problem. I have googled it and it does seem to fit in with what he has, so quite possibly. His condition was diagnosed when he had his second biopsy. Quite a bit of tissue was taken and thoroughly searched for sperm but there was none there.
    To answer your question on how he dealt with using a donor – it was definitely a long road. He flat out refused to consider it at first, and I was ok with that because we had decided that our next step would be to adopt. As we became more educated we realised that wow – adoption is so expensive and absurdly invasive into the lives of anyone considering it. There was no way we could afford it, nor were we keen on having our home and lives examined, and even then there are no guarantees that we would be granted a child before we became too old to qualify. We are only in our early 30s but the wait can be so long. So we went back to the donor option. There were a lot of concerns he had, like would the baby bond better with me, or would it be just plain weird during the pregnancy, etc. The main thing it took was TIME. Time to discuss and tackle these issues one by one, and time to see our counsellor, and time to first disagree emotionally and then talk about it without emotion! Time for him to grieve for the loss of the family he had imagined and adjust to a new idea.
    Thanks for the congrats on our boys! They are our whole world and my husband now realises that being a father has nothing to do with getting a woman pregnant, but has everything to do with ultrasounds, morning sickness, dirty nappies and sleepless nights. He is an amazing dad and whenever we go out he is showered with compliments on how much his sons look like him. I know he treasures those comments.
    It sounds like you are doing a fabulous job supporting your husband and you have such a positive outlook, knowing that it will make your marriage stronger. So glad your husband is doing better, keep us posted on your journey

  13. #20
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    OptimisticAussie - that is a real shame that your husband feels that way. It also denies you the right to any children. I'm not sure I understand his viewpoint at all, but hopefully he will come around. It shouldn't feel anything like an affair - more something to be grateful for, to allow you both to experience the joy & love of a child.
    I wish you all the best. Dr Golovsky is definitely the man to see, if you can manage it. x

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to peoniesarepretty For This Useful Post:

    OptimisticAussie  (24-01-2013)


 

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