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  1. #1
    Ana Gram's Avatar
    Ana Gram is offline 2008 WINNER - straight shooter award
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    Default Attention Seeking

    ...
    Last edited by Ana Gram; 18-04-2013 at 18:06.

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    I have no advice, but Chanel is quite like this. She wants constant attention... from me. If I pay attention to anyone but her, she is all over me, trying to regain it for herself.

    I'm always being asked to come look at something, come watch something, come do something, and it's always worsened if someone else is around and I'm chatting to them. If I'm just minding my own business, she is less likely to demand it (though still does).

    One-on-one time alone just seems to make her want even MORE of it.

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    Oh it IS exhausting!

    Chanel's not a bad kid at all, but it's her constant need for my attention, and her constant talking, that does my head in. I'm a bit of a loner, so enjoy time on my own... which makes it harder to cope with her constant demands for attention.

    I've found that she even likes to play up things, just to get it. She will act like her arm's just been ripped off when she just swings it and smacks it fairly lightly against something. Or she pretends she's "scared" of things just to get attention, when she's clearly not, because she sucks at maintaining the act, so you can see right through it.

    I hope someone comes in with some helpful advice! It feels so mean just saying, "Please, can you go away and leave me alone for a little while, or else I'm going to lose it," but I kind of HAVE to tell her that, or else I WILL lose it.

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    Default Attention Seeking

    My 8yr old is the same. I find him just exhausting.
    He deals with a lot (two toddlers, DH works a lot etc) as I try to be so understanding.
    I find one of the only thing that works is completely letting go and disengaging from him.
    He freaks out with no rules or boundaries and starts to change his behaviour.
    If he's doing something wrong there's no point yelling or arguing with him as he seems to thrive off the interaction!
    I say
    "DS, you're not listening I me and I'm exhausted. If you feel that's appropriate behaviour then that is your choice. Have chocolate for dinner, don't brush your teeth and go to bed whenever you want. You're not listening or respecting the rules so I'm choosing to not argue with you about this:.."
    etc etc
    He HATES it and panics and changes his behaviour.
    Wouldn't work for all kids though as he is very very regimented and loves rules, routine and structure.

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    DS is only 6 but also seems to want constant attention, tries to regain attention if it's diverted from him and generally quite similar to what you've both described. I don't have any advice as I am at my wits end with him so I feel for you but at a loss.

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    I wish I knew the answer. I put it down to boredom - DD doesn't have any siblings to play with and is hopeless at playing on her own as she has the same amount of imagination as me (ie none). I could play with her for hours and it would make absolutely no difference, she still won't let me do anything I need to do.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to shelle65 For This Useful Post:

    SassyMummy  (02-12-2012)

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    Are all the children mentioned in here only children? That could maybe be the pattern I suppose. No siblings to harrass and annoy... so time to annoy Mum instead. I know I spent a lot of my childhood playing with or fighting with my brother. DD doesn't have that... maybe I'm being used as the substitute?

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    Default Re: Attention Seeking

    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post
    Are all the children mentioned in here only children? That could maybe be the pattern I suppose. No siblings to harrass and annoy... so time to annoy Mum instead. I know I spent a lot of my childhood playing with or fighting with my brother. DD doesn't have that... maybe I'm being used as the substitute?
    I found dd1 was like that before dd2 was born. She still likes attention but she doesn't harass me all the time anymore. She is starting to enjoy alone time now. I think she has learnt how frustrating it can be having to entertain someone else.

    Sent from my magical black talky thingy using BubHub

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    DS has a 3yo sister and I swear he goes out of his way to play things she cannot grasp the concept of. She loves him to pieces and would play non stop with him if he let her. he would rather make it hard for her and then complain of being bored.


 

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