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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    I understand it's hard Sonja and i totally get people being defensive about it, it's. sh*tty subject. I guess I'm struggling with how much to push my opinion on people- not knowing if they really don't know how hard it could be, how much they've thought about it, whether they want me to say something different altogether. I don't know, it's really hard. When people bring it up with me I sometimes think they *want* me to convince them to just do it, but the whole other side of it is that i have no idea how their partners feel either. Like the guy at work who was telling me he thinks he wants kids one day but doesn't think his partner does, but he's not sure. They're in their late 30's and haven't even seriously discussed it yet, despite being madly in love and together over 10 years. I just think that's a big ol' can of worms I don't want to open, but this guy is a really good friend of mine, I don't want him to be 50 and devestated because they just didn't consider it in time.

    Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710a using BubHub
    Personally I think if you're that close to someone and care about them that much then they it's more than likely they will be grateful for whatever advice you want to give them.

    Just be careful though I encouraged a friend to get started and she was pregnant within 6 weeks . I think she was silently hoping it would take a bit longer.
    Last edited by Sonja; 01-12-2012 at 18:12.

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    Default Leaving it too late

    Not having read the whole thread... I'd never offer an opinion about leaving it too late, but then I had my first daughter at 39 and my second will arrive when I'm 41. And it's not that I didn't have the opportunity earlier - I've been with my husband for 20 years and he's been ready for kids for ages; I just simply was not ready until a few years ago. I'm fortunate that I get pregnant easily and although I've had one miscarriage I haven't had any further problems. I dont regret waiting at all. i do wonder what it'll be like being 55 with teenagers though

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    Default Leaving it too late

    I Agee with the OP having had trouble myself at 31 and discovering not only I had endometriosis but a low amh! Ivf is our only option for kids and it is expensive especially if you live somewhere like NZ. So my advice to my close girlfriends is to get at least a amh test so they know all things are in check, the amount of fertile time they are likely to have.
    I know my experiences has urged a few couples to think about their own situations.

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to chances For This Useful Post:

    Annabella  (03-12-2012),FearlessLeader  (01-12-2012)

  5. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    I am not actually saying you can't have an opinion, just that perspective may be different if you had no children at all. I also had issues conceiving my second child but don't think I can even come close to understanding to pain of those that have no children and will not because of failed IVF/infertility.
    but wouldn't anyone who couldn't have children for whatever reason have a different perspective? i don't understand this comment (might be hormonal stupidness).

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    if anyone ever broached the subject to me, which people have that know we are doing IVF, i'd be happy to gently tell them what i know. Knowing what i know now, if i was in my 30s thinking about having kids but wanting to know how long i could wait, i'd see the GP for a quick ultrasound and an AMH level test. Not definitive, but if you knew you have normal ovaries/uterus and a normal AMH you'd know that you don't have any immediate problems. Non invasive, easy to do. I know girls who are 28 with the AMH of a 40 year old. If they had waited even 5 years it would be zero. Same with guys, a quick sperm test will let you know if its normal.

    Of course, I'm sure a lot of women wouldn't want to know, and i'd understand that too.

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    Default Leaving it too late

    I think that one of the reasons I didn't want kids in my 20,s and early 30,s ( apart from not meeting DH yet!) was 2 of my really good friends had kids at 22 and 24 and I suppose watching their lives change and watching them
    Struggle with work/money scared me , I was selfish back then and like pp,s I've travelled extensively, went to great restaurants , spent obscene amounts of money on shoes and handbags , bought houses, started a business and then I felt ( especially after marrying DH) I was ready - now my entire life focus is on DS and I could not give a rats about anything else !

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    Default Re: Leaving it too late

    I think suggesting people get an amh test is a good idea thanks for that

    And thank you all for sharing your stories, as I said I know it's a delicate subject

    Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710a using BubHub

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    Default Leaving it too late

    Totally OT but are Amh tests expensive? I assume if done just for informations sake (and not where there are known issues) there's no Medicare rebate etc ...?

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    Default Leaving it too late

    Quote Originally Posted by Renesme View Post
    I would step VERY carefully. Alot of people who are TTC say "maybe one day" to people when they ask when they actually are TTC. It could make them feel more like crap if they are doing this and just pretending they're not trying to ward off embarrassment of them not conceiving quickly.
    That's me ! I have 3 kids already and everyone knows I want 5 but with every TTC I say yeah we are gonna try in a few months we can't wait. I'm lucky to fall preg ASAP but I always say in a few months just incase it doesn't happen or something goes wrong! Right now I'm telling everyone next April but I want to try Jan / Feb !

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chew the Mintie View Post
    Totally OT but are Amh tests expensive? I assume if done just for informations sake (and not where there are known issues) there's no Medicare rebate etc ...?
    hmm i don't think so... maybe $50 or $100 out of pocket at the most?


 

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