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  1. #1
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    Default Very LONG vent...

    I feel completely deflated and so sad, DH and I have been arguing lately and I hate it! Usually we get along great and we love each each other very much.
    I'm probably overreacting but I just need an outlet so sorry for the long winded post... but if you're bored this should give ya'll something to do!
    Anyway to the issue, last night was like a punch to the gut. We joined the gym last week and I had a workout planned for 7 so I'm all ready to go and AF is back! DD is 8 months old so I'm sure I'm feeling very emotional and all, but off I go... When I come home she's asleep and he's holding her, if only he would put her to sleep and then put her in bed she'd sleep for hours! But NO he HAS to hold her which means as soon as the door opens she's awake! So I quickly grab her in a desperate attempt to dream feed her (she's been really hard to settle to sleep the last 2 weeks) so she's feeding and looks like she might go straight back to sleep and he says to me "I think you should feed her more solid foods" I explain that my milk supply increases as she grows and she's been growing! Also that aside from her lunch time solid meal I've been introducing a small meal/snack around dinner time... he says he's not convinced and she needs more food!!!! Argh so we set that aside and I try to rock/sing her to sleep, 3 times 3 bloody times I get her to sleep and he makes a noise or turns the lights on!!! I restrain myself to tell to be more careful, he says he's not doing it on purpose!arhh!!!! So after the 6th attempt at putting her in her cot at which she wakes up every time ( mind you every attemp is followed by 15 / 20 min of rocking and singing) I'm getting frustrated so I leave the room and tell him that she's awake again and that was my 6th try... he says maybe she's not tiered!!!!! Omg seriously!!!!! So he has a go (while sitting in front of the computer... no way in hell she's falling asleep like that! And I go to bed, 10 min later he asks if its ok if she lays down with me, I say fine... which is followed another hour of trying to put her to sleep, finally she's asleep and he comes in and I tell him why does he have to insult my parenting why doesn't he believe me when I tell him she's tiered or hungry? I spend ALL day everyday with her I KNOW the cues... He says " I just want the best for my baby" ... WTF like I don't!!!! What does that even mean!?!
    I wake up this morning and he's left a msg saying "I was insensitive last night, I'm really sorry" SO he was insensitive because I'm over sensitive coz I have AF (he mentioned me having been crazy lately) AND where's I love u ... Just I'm sorry!
    Thank u for reading this... :-)

  2. #2
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    Default Very LONG vent...

    It's ok! We go thru this with each bub. I spend more time with them as babies (bf and SAHP) that you know their cues but dads are out all day and don't know what's happening all the time and the cues(tired, hungry etc). You need to give in and trust it will be well. As in give your bub to DH on your gym evenings with a bottle of ebm and make that his night in. He does the bath/bed and you go out. Gym, coffee movie whatever but you need one night off a week. Let him try and learn by his mistakes - that's what we first time mums do anyway!

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Rose&Aurelia&Hannah For This Useful Post:

    ~ElectricPink~  (30-11-2012)

  4. #3
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    Default Very LONG vent...

    Oh and milk does change it's flavour when AF arrives so give bub a bit to get used to it.

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    Hi rose&aurelia, I totally get what you're saying, the problem is tho that even when I get to my end line (frustrated need a break) he'll take her for 10 min then its up to me again! Hence last night I went thinking he could handle it, instead I created more work for me because ultimately its up to me anyway...
    i definitely can tell she's been fussy lately so I'm glad I know why...

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    Default Very LONG vent...

    I could have written your post after DS was born. DH would pick at EVERYTHING. He's a very hands on dad and although that's great, it has its drawbacks... Which is him tryin to tell me how to do MY Job as a mummy.

    It's difficult I know. I don't have any advice and all I can say is it will pass. Well it did for us.

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    Default Very LONG vent...

    Quote Originally Posted by ciaomamma View Post
    Hi rose&aurelia, I totally get what you're saying, the problem is tho that even when I get to my end line (frustrated need a break) he'll take her for 10 min then its up to me again! Hence last night I went thinking he could handle it, instead I created more work for me because ultimately its up to me anyway...
    i definitely can tell she's been fussy lately so I'm glad I know why...
    Yip! This was the same for us. Giving bub to DH just made more work for me. At the end of the day we DO know more about bubs cues than dads (where we are the full time carers) and even when they try they can't do it as well as we do.

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    Default Very LONG vent...

    Same here! DH is well meaning but makes the dumbest suggestions sometimes. My DD never sleeps in the pram and I have been out 100's if times to test this theory. We were at a party and he said he was going to take DD for a walk around the block to put her to sleep. I was like 'ok whatever' and he came back and asked me what to do when she didn't fall asleep. Grr!

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    Default Re: Very LONG vent...

    My period returned when ds was 8 months and he became very fussy with every period, I found it slowed my let down a lot and ds wasn't used to it,
    Ds was also a very hard baby to get to sleep and the slightest noise would disturb him,

    *hugs*
    It's frustrating, dp was the same when ds was a baby,
    I was single by the time ds was 8 months as dp would just ignore when I was at the end of my rope.
    Sent from my HTC Wildfire S A510b using BubHub

  10. #9
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    Im not alone!! I feel better!
    See my issue is not so much that he doesn't know (he works I don't expect him to) but why oh why doesn't he just believe me!? If I say she's tiered... it's coz she's tiered and I KNOW! I just don't understand why he would second guess me, I'm never wrong with her, he's just doing my head in!!!

  11. #10
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    Default Very LONG vent...

    Not a BF mum but my DP will lay in couch n cuddle up with my DD just turned 2 to get her to sleep so once she's almost asleep I have to do the transition to bed which takes about a good hour of tantys cuddles and resettling. Where as if he would just let me out her to bed when I notice tired signs we wouldn't have the tantys but no being male he knows all and oh I'll just cuddle her to sleep. Grrrr can't imagine how much more frustrating it must be having to BF aswel


 

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