Today's ungracious thoughts.
'Why does this always happen to me? I have such **** luck."
NO BAD THINGS DON'T ALWAYS HAPPEN TO YOU. YOU COMPLAIN CONSTANTLY ABOUT YOUR LIFE AND YOUR SO PESSIMISTIC I JUST WANT TO RUN FAR FAR AWAY. You have a $20,000 ring on your finger, and a partner who is attractive and means well. You could do so much worse. Stop whinging about your lack of friends, how much insurance has gone up over said ring, how fat you think you are, how **** the army is, how **** your life is, how **** your pets are, how all the other women at defence get togethers are all mothers so you're left out, how **** other women are ARRRRRRRRRRRRAGH. I know money IS NOT EVERYTHING but if you have a $20,000 ring on your finger, life cannot be that bad. Also, stop *****ing about how **** your neighbors are, and how much better mine are, BECAUSE I KNOCKED ON THEIR DAMN DOORS AND BECAME FRIENDS WITH THEM. UNLIKE YOU.
"I can't wait to catch up now uni is over! We can give each other new topics to study every single day! And quiz each other on them!"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. NO.
"So.... what size ring do you wear?" (from DP)
Oh good. He's finally going to propose BUT HOW WILL HE KNOW WHAT RING TO GET ME? I don't want an expensive ring- most of the ones pinned on my pinterest board are around $200, some are a lot less... like, less than $100. I don't want a boring store bought ring, unless it's pandora, because they're kinda funky. I want a ring off etsy. DAMNIT HOW CAN I TELL HIM THIS?
Dude, your daughter just PEED ON THE FLOOR in the kids room and you're going to act like nothing happened? WHAT IS WRONG FOR YOU? You just grabbed your daughter and ran off and now you're feeding her ice cream? Oh, I see what's happening. You don't realise I'm watching my daughter from over here, and you're obviously hoping that if my daughter is the only person in there, that she'll get the blame since she's younger then your daughter!
THAT'S RIGHT SWEETIE! Keep pointing at that girl and telling me in your loudest voice "Mummy! Mummy! She peed on the floor!" Because I'm sick of the staff giving me dirty looks and blaming me, just because I'm the one who told them someone peed on the floor, and you're the only kid here now! You're wearing a nappy and leggings which are dry, so kinda impossible for it to have been you.
I'm so glad this sushi place got bigger. Because last time I was here, I constantly felt they were rubbing it in my face that I was a fat whitey, and not a tiny Japanese girl. Now I feel totally ok eating 7 plates of sushi.
I felt really nervous writing my never to be shared private thoughts for today. Until I read everyone elses. Only four ugly thoughts today. I think I'm doing ok.
I think it's normal to be judgmental. Well, judgmental ish. If people are judgmental of larger people, then it stops them from becoming larger, doesnt it?
Seriously though, I think it's ok to think ugly thoughts in your head as long as it doesn't dominate your life. If you're always thinking about how fat your friend is, and you can't see past their size... you're a shi77y friend, I'm sorry. If you're always freaking out over your size, and you can't support a friend who is larger than you and wants to look beautiful/ sexy/ wear a swimsuit, whatever, because of your thoughts... yeah. If you can't enjoy a walk down the street without ugly thoughts, or clothes shopping, or life... Like my friend with the $20k ring. I rarely hear her express gratitude for what she has. That she has a car, a house they're paying off, a partner who earns lots of money and lets her stay home all the time.... I judge her a bit for that, tbh. She doesn't have kids. She just whinges and *****es about every job and leaves. Then she whinges about being bored. She *****es about other people all the time, so I bet she *****es behind my back. The whole damn world is against her.
Something I've noticed about nursing students- we are all super judgmental of fellow nursing students who smoke.
"Wow! Look at that girls hair in those perfectly neat, tumbled curls. Surely those have to be from a curling wand... I wonder what time she has to get up to do her hair like that?"
When I'm in a hurry... "Could you people walk ANY slower?"
Looking at a tan bag with a fluro yellow pocket today... "who actually buys something like that? It's going to be in fashion for 5 minutes" (I claim no trendy fashion sense by the way. Possibly there are people who can make highlighter yellow look good. I am not one of them).
Trying not to stare at a young shop assistant... "Are you the victim of a tragic spray tan accident or are you that shade of orange on purpose?"
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