Well firstly Hello lovely single mummies!
Firstly, an apology for the length of this post...and before I ask for advice, just a quick bit of background.
Ive been a single mum for about 4 years now, my ex and i split because i was in an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship, because my personality is very....submissive(?). it wasnt good for me, and it certainly wasnt good for my LG, my ex and i split mutually, he moved out and in with his current girlfriend (whom he commenced the relationship with a few months prior to us splitting, i have come to learn since). they moved to QLD for about 12 months when my LG was 1, and had nothing to do with her, except when i was up in brisebane for family matters. they moved back to canberra after the 12 months, and saw her intermittedly when i called and asked if he wanted to see her. There was lots of messing around, and lots of "yeah i will take her" and then retracting of statements...all that passed when she got abit older and i told him he had to start either being stable with visits, or not see her, he chose to become stable. We (now) have a fairly civil relationship, there are no court orders, as he doesn't like them, or parenting plans, just mutual agreement to a fortnightly 2 night visit (48 nights per year with some extras here and there).
now for my dilemma
Ive been offered an amazing job, once in a lifetime, but its 4000k's away from where i currently am, Ive been given until the end of January to decide on whether or not i want to go, and im wondering how best to approach the issue with the ex. I know the legal ramifications of leaving without consent, and i dont feel like being dragged back to the place i left, homeless, and unable to adequately provide for my LG and myself. I would ultimately like to negotiate this agreement out of court, as i dont really want to have to PROVE why moving to an amazing job, that will support my daughter and myself a lot better, in an area that i have support networks in will be better off for us, also to save time, mutual civility(?) and ultimately save everyone's wallet. Ive drafted a rough estimate of school holiday visits (My LG Will be starting primary school this year), special events (birthdays, Christmas, Easter etc) and regular visits, and it totals well over 50 days, and i am more than happy to pay for this, with my child support entitlements, and the rest out of my own pocket.
does anyone have any experience with circumstances like this? or even with moving interstate without needing to go to court? did you succeed? Do i sound like i am being reasonable? If i did end up facing court, does this sound like a reasonable enough reason to move?
I've turned down a few very good jobs in other states over the last 12 months, purely because i wasnt sure i wanted to deal with these kinds of situations, and questions, but this current offer is far to good for me to just blatantly say no.
TIA for any and all help!
<3 Seriously stressed mama