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  1. #1
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    Default Responding to stupid advice

    So my LO isn't even born yet but the 'helpful' advice has already started, it's not that I'm averse to people offering advice if it's useful but why do people feel the need to tell you obvious things, do they think I'm an idiot? Most of these are from my Mum and MIL:
    - Don't forget to put a protector on the cot mattress in case baby has an accident.
    - You have to wash the new sheets and clothes before you use them.
    - do you know they make baby hangers, you'll have to remember to get some because baby clothes won't fit on adult hangers.
    - Are you sure you've bought the right sizes in clothes, do you even know what all the sizing means, here let me explain it to you.
    These are just the helpful gems I got yesterday! I just smiled and nodded or answered in a non confrontational way like "yes thanks, I've already bought a mattress protector/ baby hangers" but is there any other way to respond to put a stop to this before bub arrives? Or is that just wishful thinking? I can only imagine how much worse it's going to get.

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    Default Responding to stupid advice

    Lol not that I know of! I use alot of AP principles/natural parent my bub and the endless 'advice' and comments I get is unbelievable. I just ignore it mostly and don't respond or change the subject lol.

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    Nod and smile, thank them.

    It's not bad information... all of the above sounds valid... it's just that they're giving it to you like you're an idiot. lol. I'm sure they mean well though, and are probably just excited... and want to make sure you know all of these things.

    It will get worse once the baby comes. Seriously, it will. Every man and his dog will have an opinion and random advice which they believe is their duty to share with you. Smile, nod. That's about all you can do.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post
    Nod and smile, thank them.

    It's not bad information... all of the above sounds valid... it's just that they're giving it to you like you're an idiot. lol. I'm sure they mean well though, and are probably just excited... and want to make sure you know all of these things.

    It will get worse once the baby comes. Seriously, it will. Every man and his dog will have an opinion and random advice which they believe is their duty to share with you. Smile, nod. That's about all you can do.
    I agree with all of this. People's intentions are not to upset but to share, empathise and help. Sometimes it can be frustrating, people can't help themselves but it's not usually malicious.

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    Just nod and smile is the best way to deal with it I think.

    I've had some great advice I've taken on board, and some advice I wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole. Whether I take it on board or not my response is always a nod and polite thank you (unless the advice is something dangerous). The more you go into your parenting choices etc the more advice you will get - so I tend to not go into it too much unless I am actually seeking advice.

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    Default Re: Responding to stupid advice

    Once you have a child you're forever treated like you're an idiot!
    :-)

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    I don't think any of that advice is stupid. People are just trying to help you with their experience.
    I know before my son was born I needed heaps of advice! What's common sense to one person isnt to another.
    The best advice I got was to use pillowcases as bassinet sheets. So simple yet I never thought of it!
    Theres a big difference to helpful advice (like you have described) and advice that goes against the way you want to parent (like insisting you leve a baby to cry if you dont want to).

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    Default Responding to stupid advice

    I'm not sure I could of held back on the coat hanger one
    But I think most people try and pass on the information that they themselves didn't know before having a baby so probably think they are just being helpful.
    But generally smile and nod works great.

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    Quote Originally Posted by decemberbubba View Post
    The more you go into your parenting choices etc the more advice you will get - so I tend to not go into it too much unless I am actually seeking advice.
    I agree with this. Yes it does get worse once bub arrives. However you learn to ignore it because it's petty stuff that's not worth upsetting yourself or others over.

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    You know what? The stuff that they are advising you on is probably all the stuff that they didn't know and tripped up on. So just smile and nod, safe in the knowledge that you were already 2 steps ahead of them.


 

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