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  1. #11
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    Default Re: When did you realise...

    That makes it hard.

    My relationship with my ex was like that. I'd threaten to leave, he'd be ok for a week or 2 and then back to his usual drunk selfish self. Eventually (11 years) I got sick of it and kicked him out. Best decision I've ever made !! I've met the most amazing wonderful man and we're expecting our first bub together in march :-)

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  2. #12
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    αληθη is offline BH name read as Aleethee
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    Default When did you realise...

    My ex and I were on and off again like that. We've gotten to the point where we're really close friends who live together still. (A bit awkward with my current situation but oh well).
    usually 'working things out' never works out.

  3. #13
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    Default When did you realise...

    He threatens to me that he will leave, blames me for everything basically. When I left him after a while he had to sell the house because he couldn't afford to pay mortgage plus $250 child support to me (not sure how cos I don't work so didn't get much from Cl) now he's blaming me for f ing up his finances and his emotions and said things won't get better untill I realise the damage I have done. I explained that I left because it was the right thing for me an our girls cos I was so unhappy. He for some reason doesn't get it.

  4. #14
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    Default When did you realise...

    So are you still with him or separated?

  5. #15
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    Default When did you realise...

    It's complicated. We're separated but working things out! (We're not married). But I'm not feeling it lately, after I left him at start of the year, after a while I was pretty happy felt like my old self. We hated each other but after a while decided we needed to try be friends for the kids sake then this led to obviously working things out. Now I'm starting to regret it.

  6. #16
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    Default When did you realise...

    Quote Originally Posted by mum2mj View Post
    He threatens to me that he will leave, blames me for everything basically. When I left him after a while he had to sell the house because he couldn't afford to pay mortgage plus $250 child support to me (not sure how cos I don't work so didn't get much from Cl) now he's blaming me for f ing up his finances and his emotions and said things won't get better untill I realise the damage I have done. I explained that I left because it was the right thing for me an our girls cos I was so unhappy. He for some reason doesn't get it.
    Yep.
    That would pretty much seal the deal for me.
    Sounds like you were making progress without him. I'd be putting some distance between the two of you again.

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  8. #17
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    Default When did you realise...

    Quote Originally Posted by mum2mj View Post
    He threatens to me that he will leave, blames me for everything basically. When I left him after a while he had to sell the house because he couldn't afford to pay mortgage plus $250 child support to me (not sure how cos I don't work so didn't get much from Cl) now he's blaming me for f ing up his finances and his emotions and said things won't get better untill I realise the damage I have done. I explained that I left because it was the right thing for me an our girls cos I was so unhappy. He for some reason doesn't get it.
    This would be enough to make me run in the opposite direction. Emotional abuse is still abuse.

  9. #18
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    With my older kids dad it was about 2 years before I left him. I realized that we were good friends and thats all. He slept in the living room more often then the bedroom. It took so long because I felt bad for leaving he wasnt a jerk, he wasnt abusive or anything. He is a nice guy but I guess we drifted apart maybe I dont know what really happened but I just saw him as more of a friend than a partner if that makes sense.

  10. #19
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    Default When did you realise...

    When I couldn't bear the sight of him anymore.

    When I realised how I would sit in absolute fear and check that the house was clean whenever I heard his car pull into the drive.

    When I felt that I could no longer express any of my opinions or be myself around him for fear of being abused for being the person that I am.

    When having to have s$x with him would make me vomit slightly in my own mouth.

  11. #20
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    Default When did you realise...

    When I realised things weren't ever going to change for the better and how badly that would influence the kids. Hardest decision I've ever had to make and I did doubt it for several weeks after but months on, I know in my heart I made the right choice.


 

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