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  1. #1
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    Default Regret over Pet surrender - help and advice appreciated

    I thought it was time to get a pet and I adopted a 5 month old foxie off a lady going overseas. I totally freaked out with my son's obsessive behaviour with the dog, but he was probably just really excited now I look back. Not wanting to leave the dog for 1 minute or do anything else. I am not sure if this is normal? He is 6.
    On the advice of my mum and sister I took the dog to animal rescue because the lady I got him from wouldn't take him back.
    Two days later I ended a 3.5yr relationship - now I think that was the cause of my meltdown, as that was on my mind and after I took the dog back I realised what was stressing me was the relationship plus dealing with a load of clutter I have to clear out. I have clutter problem and I have felt overwhelmed with it. Since this time I have seriously started on it, giving a bag a day to charity, filling my bins and gifting items.
    Anyway almost 2 wks on now I really feel like I want that dog back. I had already paid $200 for him and I would have to pay $350 to re-adopt. The money isn't the issue though.
    I really think I should of had some emotional support and techniques with dealing with my son rather than freaking out and surrending.
    I told my son the lady made a mistake and wanted her dog back - he accepted that.
    My head is clearer now.
    Should I try to adopt the dog back or forget about it and move on.... I can't stop thining of the dog or looking him up on the website for adoption.
    Some advise would be much appreciated.
    I also have a 15yr old cat and I it isn't about not being responsible just a total meltdown and freak out at the time.

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    Default Re: Regret over Pet surrender - help and advice appreciated

    If its still available and you think you would like it then I'd try

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    I think if you can you should get him back. You reacted hastily because of stress no one can blame you for that. Your son is curious and if the dog is receptive to that its great.

    Now Foxies are terriers so they are very inclined to bark, dig, chase small animals, and nip. They are no where near as active, nippy or barky as Jack russels and I had many of those when I had small kids and they were fine.

    If you ever need advice on dogs I am here. I have rescued dogs for 10 years, I did dog training as a business for a few years, I raised and showed dogs for 11 years, worked at animal shelters and Pet hospitals for many years, many of the dogs I rescued were deemed not adoptable and were shipped to me from humane societies from all over the US to work with and rehome. I got biters, jumpers, runners, ones that hated cats ones that hated dogs. I only ever had to put one down by not being able to fix her.

    If you need me I am here for you and any pooch you get.

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    It sounds like you have a huge amount on your plate - relationship breakup, DS to look after, decluttering, an aged cat, dealing with mother's and sister's opinions ... I would trust that the dog will be found a good home, and wait a little. You could use the time to educate yourself and DS about getting a dog, and then it will be much easier for all of you.

    Best of luck!

  5. #5
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    Hi
    Just wanted to say that I feel for you, I know what it feels like to give up a pet. When DS was 3 we got a puppy, a gorgeous black Kelpie cross Lab. But unlike your situation, my DS was petrified of her. She was very boisterous (as puppies tend to be) and would jump all over him, knocking him over on occasion. She ruined our backyard, ripped everything in sight to shreds and escaped over the back fence and killed the neighbour's chickens. I had anonymous letters in the mail complaining about her barking at all hours. I tried everything, I walked her everyday and as she grew she became impossible to control. I let her off the leash in a park one day and she sprinted off and then came thundering back towards me at full force, right into my leg and knocked me flying.. a stranger with his kids had to pick me up off the floor, I thought I'd broken my leg. So when the council came to my door saying that the neighbours had complained again, I let him take her. It broke my heart, but it had got to the stage where DS could no longer play in backyard with her there. The ranger promised me he would re-home her andthat dogs like her were in high demand. But still, I felt extreme guilt; maybe I should have persevered, tried puppy school? I did what was best for my family at the time. But, nearly 10 years later, I still regret it and think of her often.
    If you feel so strongly about it, I'd recommend trying to get her back.
    All the best
    Last edited by ~Marigold~; 23-11-2012 at 19:49.

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    Default Re: Regret over Pet surrender - help and advice appreciated

    I would think long and hard and not make a quick decision about it... it wouldn't be fair to adopt the dog again now and change your mind again down the track... I don't mean this to sound mean or like I am judging you because I definitely am not, you sound like you've been having a rough time and I'm really sorry for that. I would just make sure it's something you really, 100% want to do before jumping in.

    Good luck with your decision

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    I would get the dog back for your DS, if no other reason.
    You just ended a 3.5yr relationship, and your DS is six, so the man you were in a relationship with has been in his life for more than half of it. If your DS loves the dog, then it's probably going to be a great comfort to him. Sounds like your DS and the dog just did the normal thing, which was become friends. Unless it became harmful or dangerous to your DS, then I don't see the issue?
    Tell your Mum and Sister to shove it, btw.
    All the best.

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    Thanks everyone for you advice and comments. It is not something I took lightly to begin with, I just had an out of character melt down. I am not sure what the organisation would think of me because of this. In saying that they didn't give me any coping mechanisms when I told them the problem I was having.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Issey View Post
    Thanks everyone for you advice and comments. It is not something I took lightly to begin with, I just had an out of character melt down. I am not sure what the organisation would think of me because of this. In saying that they didn't give me any coping mechanisms when I told them the problem I was having.
    I am pretty sad about the stories I hear from rescues and such in this country. I always always tried to make the dog work for the family, find out what the issue was and try to help them fix it because honestly I would rather the dog stay in his home rather than go through the trauma of rescue and rehoming. Good luck in what ever you decide

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    Default Regret over Pet surrender - help and advice appreciated

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    I am pretty sad about the stories I hear from rescues and such in this country. I always always tried to make the dog work for the family, find out what the issue was and try to help them fix it because honestly I would rather the dog stay in his home rather than go through the trauma of rescue and rehoming. Good luck in what ever you decide
    Well the USA ain't free from animal cruelty!


 

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