A friend of a family I am friends with on facebook passed away in the last week and there have been numerous posts from this family in regards in this person, their life, their relationships and the funeral. She was a couple of years older than myself and had a son roughly the same age as DS. It’s really tough to hear of these kinds of things happening more and more (another friend of a family member passed away from cancer- leaving 3 young kids), esp amongst people my own age and with kids around the same age as my own. It just makes me want to bundle DS up and never let go, it makes me want to leave work and embark on this trip right now before our good luck runs out and tragedy strikes closer to home. Sometimes I get really scared that DS will be taken away from me and I would have waited too long to spend so much quality and one on one time with him, but really how much time is enough. I’m so looking forward to spending 3months with him, but will that be enough? I very much doubt it. I’m looking for 50+years of blessed years with DS- travelling with him, bringing his first girlfriend home, seeing him graduate, experience the joy he’ll get from travelling the world, meeting his soul mate, getting married, watching him become a father and have what I never did, a loving family. Is this all too much to ask? I was so ignorant when pregnant with DS- I didn’t know I could love someone this much- it really is like having your heart walk outside of your body.
Last week I was worried about DS getting too much for Christmas, but now I'm not. This Christmas is going to be special because I just don't know whats around the corner. I'm going to hug DS a little longer, take a mental photograph of his face as he sees what Santa has bought him and enjoy every last bit of it with him.