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  1. #21
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    Busy-Bee is offline Offending people since before Del :D
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    You are most definitely not being unreasonable. Bear in mind as well that you have no idea how long labour will be, are they willing to wait in the waiting room for 2 days. A labouring woman does NOT need the stress of having in-laws (or anyone) 'waiting' outside for her to hurry up and give birth. She needs the ability and support to totally focus on herself and her baby and take however long she needs to take. Basically, she needs what ever the hell she wants to get through labour.

    It's not so much the insistence that the in-laws get to meet the baby first, it's the insistence that they are in the waiting room that would bother me the most. Having said that I think as part of the introduction to the family of a new baby the sibling should get dibs on greeting their new brother or sister first. As for referring to you as anal, that's just uncalled for

    Perhaps show your DP this thread?

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    Default Is this unreasonable?

    I'm really close with my IL's, they're like a second set of parents to me so want to be there and have asked to be updated regularly but I think that will make me feel pressured.

    I have made a few requests but I don't think they are too much.
    That I only want DF in the labour room with me and want a bit of time afterwards to bond as a family and that we would would like to be the ones that announce her arrival to everyone instead of someone hearing it second hand and being hurt.

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    Default Is this unreasonable?

    Not anal!! Why are his parents in the waiting room

    No way in hell will anyone be meeting this baby before DD!!! I don't care how many people are in the waiting room and how long they have to wait, DD will be the first. We are even considering not telling anyone but my Mum (who will be watching DD) about our c-section date.

    Me and DH are in complete agreement about this. With DD we didn't even tell anyone I was in labour!! We just let everyone know once she was born.

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    Default Re: Is this unreasonable?

    I'd not want anyone in the waiting room myself. I have ridiculously long labours though.

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    Default Re: Is this unreasonable?

    Quote Originally Posted by Boobycino View Post
    I'd not want anyone in the waiting room myself. I have ridiculously long labours though.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using BubHub
    Yeah see mine were really quick. And I have a family history of quick labours/births.

    But yeah what is right for one person isn't necessarily right for another. You have to go with how you feel at the time.

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    Most maternity hospitals don't even have waiting rooms and I don't know why family members ( other than the support persons) have to see the baby right away. I think your being fair in asking them to wait til the next day, you need a lot of rest after giving birth. If you still feel pressured you can talk to the midwives and ask that there be no visitors til you have recovered. Personally I didn't tell the family I was in labour and just got dh to ring everyone after bubs was born.

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    It can be all to do with the logistics too though. Who will have the girls when you are in labour? If it's your parents that can be a tricky explanation to make to your IL's ... "Yes, my parents can come straight away but you can't". It was all a bit of a blur for me but I think what happened was my MIL actually arrived first (we called her, dd was an hour old when she arrived) and then as she left (she didn't stay long) my parents & our ds arrived. Other family didn't come - one of my brothers & his family were away and the others were sick. My BIL & FIL came the next day.

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    definately NOT anal! I have told my DH the same thing for our next one. I don't have the best relationship with my inlaws, TBH if it was up to me, I wouldnt even tell them I was pregnant
    With my DS I was mid contraction and a midwife came in and said my FIL was in the waiting room. Pi$$ed me right off. DH called them to say I was in labour and at the hospital, MIL got pi$$ed off because we didnt pick her up, my mum was there, we asked both mums if they wanted to be in the labour room with us, my mum jumped at the chance plus she had to drive us in as DH didnt have his license at the time, MIL said she didnt know if she wanted to be there never mentioned it again and then got annoyed I didnt even see my inlaws after DS was born as I have to go to theatre to be stitched. they didnt even bother to wait and see how i was, yet i have photos of them smiling holding my DS who I only cuddled for like 10 minutes before I had to go away.

    If I would you, I agree with the PP, show your DF this thread and I'd be putting my foot down
    Good luck with your birth

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    Default Re: Is this unreasonable?

    I think you're in the right,
    My in laws sat in the waiting room for dss birth and probably will for #2 if its their sons but if its born in the middle of the night no one will be allowed until ds comes up

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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsOhara View Post
    I have a fantastic relationship with my inlaws but have said from the start of this pregnancy that I just want DF and I in the labour room and I want the girls to meet their sibling before anyone else.
    I have said to DF that if his family are in the waiting room that they will have to wait for the girls but tonight he just said I was anal and if they're waiting they can meet her first.
    It really p!ssed me off, I love my inlaws but it's the girls' sister and I feel they have that right.

    Am I just being anal?
    Are your IL's in the waiting room beause they are looking after your girls/bringing them into meet bub?....
    If that's the case i think they would expect to meet the baby with them?
    If you dont want them there then maybe you need to arrange an alternate person who would be happy to drop them off sort of thing...


 

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