I think if it's under his time, then it's perfectly acceptable and I wouldn't count it as my business.
Have you tried just expressing your feelings to your ex and saying that something's you enjoy to do as a family and that includes his new partner and child?
My parents were great growing up, after about 5 years of bitterness. They learnt a routine and when things were done together, or seperate and didn't mind if something was done without the other. Nower days both go along to things and talk like friends, each of my step parents go along too and everyone gets along. They took time to get to that stage and maybe it's just time that your family needs to get there too.
Keep your chin up xx
Just to reiterate, we have no actual agreement - he wasn't sure he was even going to be involved in DS's life at all but I encouraged it and then found out he was expecting another baby, so after putting me through all of that he has made an effort to do the right thing and let me call the shots with respect to things with DS. I would kill him if he tried to take DS from me and he knows it! So he won't go for legal custody but we have an unofficial arrangement. I guess him doing things like this behind my back makes me ffeel like he's trying to take DS away from me, which my head knows is silly.
Last edited by Ellewood; 22-11-2012 at 14:34.
I do think its fine for him to take him to events etc during his time without consulting you, however I think it's incredibly stupid for him to lie about it, especially if that is completely the opposite to how you've done things up until now. I personally think it maybe sounds like some pressure/encouragement from his current partner to ascertain their status as a 'family' and that doesn't include you, if you get what I mean. Which is pretty silly. I tend to think if you have an amicable relationship why wreck it. Not sure what you can do about it except be the bigger person. If its something you're comfortable with maybe you could just mention that if he wants to take DS to things that's fine but no need to make a big secret of it. And also suggest that perhaps he may like to attend some of DS's events like his own child care Xmas party and bring the new partner along?
I tell X about DD1's parties but i certainly don't invite him.
I give her a party either just a small one with family or a bigger one including friends.
X does a bday dinner out for her when he has her next after her bday.
As for other events seeing as he lives 2.5hrs away i dont really include him at all except for her ballet concert that she asked him to come to
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