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  1. #11
    HugsBunny's Avatar
    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
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    Default Is it ok for a non-custodial parent to exclude the custodial parent from events?

    My XH receives the school newsletters via email, it's up to him to read these and find out about assemblies and discos etc, just as its up to me to read the newsletters to find out about them.

    Birthdays etc - it's completely acceptable for him to organise a party for them. I wouldn't invite him to a party I organised, let alone his father, brother and co, definitely wouldn't invite the new gf and her kids either.

    If he wants to throw a party or have a BBQ with friends when the kids are with him then that's up to him.

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    PomPoms  (22-11-2012)

  3. #12
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    Yeah see even things like school and other events I don't even tell him about, he's never shown an interest. I forgot to even tell him when DS hurt himself badly, it honestly didn't even factor into my mind. He's just got nil interest in what he/we do.

  4. #13
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    Oh cra.p I thought I put this in the single patent section, sorry, not sure how to move it.

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    In the case of a party, I think it's polite to be informed of the event's occurrence but I don't expect to be invited or asked for opinions on whether it goes ahead or not.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    In the case of a party, I think it's polite to be informed of the event's occurrence but I don't expect to be invited or asked for opinions on whether it goes ahead or not.
    Oh I just wanted to add that I don't think parent's should be encouraging children to keep secrets, but no I don't think once parents are separated that the other parent is under any obligation to include the other parent on private celebrations/occasions. Just as I don't think I should be questioning my children about what happens at their Dad's house. In our orders it actually stipulates not questioning the children about events while in the other parents care (something like that).

    Not sure if that makes any sense.

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    Default Re: Is it ok for a non-custodial parent to exclude the custodial parent from events?

    When we were split providing his father provided him with a dafe environment it's none of my business what he does & does not.do with him.


    Sent from my LG-E400f using BubHub

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    PomPoms  (22-11-2012)

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    Default Is it ok for a non-custodial parent to exclude the custodial parent from events?

    Quote Originally Posted by HugsBunny View Post
    My XH receives the school newsletters via email, it's up to him to read these and find out about assemblies and discos etc, just as its up to me to read the newsletters to find out about them.

    Birthdays etc - it's completely acceptable for him to organise a party for them. I wouldn't invite him to a party I organised, let alone his father, brother and co, definitely wouldn't invite the new gf and her kids either.

    If he wants to throw a party or have a BBQ with friends when the kids are with him then that's up to him.
    This is pretty much it for us, but they're definitely not kept a secret. We don't go out of our way to tell the other parent but if it comes up in conversation it's no big deal

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    HugsBunny  (22-11-2012)

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackEyedPea View Post
    Oh cra.p I thought I put this in the single patent section, sorry, not sure how to move it.
    PM a mod hun.

    Wow, I didn't realise how much I am in the minority with DD's Dad. He comes to all of her birthday events, school concerts etc unless he's working. We get along quite well though.

    He wouldn't be able to organise a sha.g in a brot.hel though so if he organised a party for her I'd be really keen to go and see what he managed to do - my guess would be no one would turn up because he wouldn't know how to go about inviting people

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    Ellewood  (22-11-2012)

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    Ok thanks - I find these types of issues so incredibly difficult... Simply because I don't know a single person who has been in my situation (DS has never lived with his dad and I have 100% custody) And I have no-one to relate to.

    . It's all been amicable so far but since his partner doesn't come along when he visits etc. he's now under pressure (I suppose) to include her (and their kids) and do its becoming an issue. Their new son (DS's half brother) goes to an affiliate childcare centre - I know the people who run it etc. and he has organised for DS to go along ti the christmas party (he has a christmas party for his own centre as well) but lied to me and didn't tell me about it (because he's taking his family I presume). I'm upset/angry as I have every reason to hate him and exclude him but never have for DS's sake.

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    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    PM a mod hun.

    Wow, I didn't realise how much I am in the minority with DD's Dad. He comes to all of her birthday events, school concerts etc unless he's working. We get along quite well though.

    He wouldn't be able to organise a sha.g in a brot.hel though so if he organised a party for her I'd be really keen to go and see what he managed to do - my guess would be no one would turn up because he wouldn't know how to go about inviting people
    Yeah same pretty much - I have really made an effort to maintain an amicable relationship with ex, and so has he I suppose. For me, growing up with patents who didn't like each other/resented each other drive me insane as a kid. It was awful.


 

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