+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 5 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 45
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    3,525
    Thanks
    1,890
    Thanked
    2,539
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Is it ok for a non-custodial parent to exclude the custodial parent from events?

    For example, non-custodial parent goes behind custodial parent's back and organises a birthday party for the child - say for example when you decide not to do anything big this year - and doesn't confer with/invite custodial parent? Keeps it secret from the other parent?

    Is this perfectly acceptable, or seriously wrong?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    19,776
    Thanks
    5,212
    Thanked
    7,063
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    My vote goes to acceptable. The less I have to deal with my son's father, the better. I don't consult him either when we do things with/for DS.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Benji For This Useful Post:

    HugsBunny  (22-11-2012)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    On the farm :-)
    Posts
    288
    Thanks
    286
    Thanked
    130
    Reviews
    1

    Default Is it ok for a non-custodial parent to exclude the custodial parent from events?

    I didn't tell ex that I was giving child a birthday party this year. He has turned up to last few and completely monopolised child and refused to let anyone else even go near him. This years party was all about child and making sure he had an awesome party after a crap year. Plus I wanted him to have a chance to play with his friends.

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    4,765
    Thanks
    1,903
    Thanked
    2,790
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Seriously wrong.

    ETA - I guess it depends on the relationship between the parents and how they normally communicate. DD's Dad would never dream of doing something like that without discussing it with me.
    Last edited by shelle65; 22-11-2012 at 13:28.

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    12,292
    Thanks
    1,571
    Thanked
    1,225
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator - Thank you
    Bubhub Blogger

    Default Re: Is it ok for a non-custodial parent to exclude the custodial parent from events?

    I certainly wouldn't expect to be a part of what my ex husband does.

    He's made it clear in the past that I have no right to even ask to know, let alone have input or control. I wouldn't want to stop him either

    Spent from my dome. Excuse autocorrect

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Izy For This Useful Post:

    PomPoms  (22-11-2012)

  8. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    2,612
    Thanks
    2,724
    Thanked
    864
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I don't tell my ex what I am doing with the children. He obviously knows about school occasions eg discos, award ceremonies. But as for private celebrations not any of his business, just like I don't want to have anything to do with celebrations he has with the children.

    So I guess I think it is acceptable.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to PomPoms For This Useful Post:

    HugsBunny  (22-11-2012)

  10. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    3,525
    Thanks
    1,890
    Thanked
    2,539
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    In my own personal situation, we have celebrated together for birthdays (only 2 so far) as we both feel it's totally juvenile to arrange separate parties simply because we can't be adult enough to come together for DS's sake.... But his partner do far hasn't come along. Now that he has another toddler though he is starting to become deceitful/secretive about organising events fir DS with his new family and excluding me. For example, childcare Christmas party.

  11. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Mackay
    Posts
    1,346
    Thanks
    620
    Thanked
    455
    Reviews
    5
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Acceptable. I dont advise/include/invite ex to anything i organise for DS and i wouldnt expect him to either.

  12. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    19,776
    Thanks
    5,212
    Thanked
    7,063
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    I'd love to have a functional co-parenting relationship with my ex, it just fails though. There was DV involved, and he still verbally abuses me (in front of DS - mostly name calling and taunting) when we see each other. It just doesn't work. DP can't be around him without wanting to punch things.

    He very rarely makes the effort to do things with DS but he does have him a handful of times per year to take him to see his mum for special events and what they do I just find out about from DS after the fact, I don't want to discuss things with XDP.

  13. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    8,705
    Thanks
    581
    Thanked
    647
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I guess acceptable but I would have trouble letting go of that control. For example, parties = sugar, sugar = hyped up children, hyped up children = unruley bahaviour just when you had organised a quiet night in with movies. I don't do well with things not going to plan.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 15
    Last Post: 22-11-2012, 14:38
  2. Health Cover for non-custodial parent...
    By Ellewood in forum Single Parents
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 24-10-2012, 02:09
  3. Advice needed regarding parent belittling other parent
    By Caviar in forum Issues with Family Members
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 05-02-2012, 22:38

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Babybee Prams
Save $50 in our pre-Christmas sale! All Comet's now only $500. Our bassinet & stroller set includes free shipping AUS wide, $75 free accessories, 18-months warranty & a 9 month free return policy. Check out our new designer range today!
sales & new stuffsee all
CarmelsBeautySecrets
Growing your own natural nails is easy. Years ago, I devised a simple and very effective technique which really helps boosts the nails' growth in as little as three days! And most importantly keeps them that way.
featured supporter
LCF Fun Languages Australia
We offer foreign language lessons for children 2-12 yrs in French, Spanish, Mandarin, Italian or German as after-school and preschool clubs or private language tuition. This is play-based, full immersion language learning with proven results!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!