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  1. #1
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    Default Feeling annoyed & lonely

    I'm almost 18 weeks pregnant and numerous people are making comments on the things I have purchased and how much we have spent. As if we don't deserve to spend that on our baby Why didn't I just get a pram from target or just get a second hand cot etc...

    It isn't as if we went overboard! We got a cot, bassinet, draws, change table pram car seat.. The pram I got was more expensive because I walk everywhere due to no medically not being able to get a license.

    Whenever I get one little thing like a jump suit or something my MIL goes "how do you know it will fit the baby"... "You don't know how big it will be". I'm starting to get really insecure and want to return the whole lot! (We live with her).

    We are putting a deposit on a block of land this weekend and so many people are going 'ohh how can you afford that'. Well because we suffer by living with my MIL and don't pay full rent. By suffer I mean we are fortunate enough lol i'm just grumpy I would love to be able to rent our own home, spend the first few weeks with our baby on our OWN and have nobody interfere.. But instead all I am receiving is negative comments from everyone We budget somewhat.. DP works 5-6 days a week and we don't do anything

    Sorry for the long rant but I'm really over it!

  2. #2
    Bulbasaur's Avatar
    Bulbasaur is offline Life is to short to live without icecream
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    Default Feeling annoyed & lonely

    I think maybe you need to tell these people that it's your choice not theirs. And it's good to get multiple siZe clothing so that's silly lol sometimes mils an mums can be silly. And don't feel bad about what you get! If I could ild get all new things!

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    Poor thing - you shouldn't have to justify what you spend to anyone else! Everyone needs the items you've bought...if you choose to buy them in one go from a shop or from ebay thats up to the individual. I bought a cheap pram (from a friends recommendation) fought and swore at it every day and by the time DD was 4 weeks old I went and spent a fortune on a lovely pram that I'm still using 3 years later, and will be perfect for my newborn in Feb.
    You only get your first newborn once...after that its all handmedowns so enjoy ;o)

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    Thanks girls..

    I sometimes just say to my MIL ahh well lucky its my baby but I don't like to say anything to her I feel out of place because we live in her house IYKWIM. My friends on the other hand i'm just a cow back and say "oh well we had the money its what i wanted" LOL. I was willing to go cheaper on most things then when DP pushed the pram he wanted the more expensive one, and the asme with the car seat he wanted one where the straps came out easier

    Thank you!!

  5. #5
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    jezikas is offline Mum, House Wife, Student, Employee
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    Default Feeling annoyed & lonely

    If you can afford it then go nuts! These comments continue after the bub is born. Every time I buy my some something he doesn't need but I want to buy him I get the same comments hahaha from strangers in the shops. Try not to take it personally and just think you'll raise this bub how you and your hubby want to. :-D The truth of the matter is dads miss out on soo much and they do tend to take the job of picking equipment for their littlen very seriously, I find it adoring. I just used to say well that's what my husband wants and since he wants to feel included, I don't think it's unreasonable to let him get what he wants hahaha

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    *hugs* I know how you feel. We got a lot of comments when buying for our babies. Why dont we just buy second hand and the likes. Because we werent in the best finacial position people thought they should give their opinions. But we saved hard for what we needed and thats all the matters.

    Dont stress over what others say, you are doing what you want and thats none of their bussiness.

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    Default Feeling annoyed & lonely

    Thanks girls I feel a bit better. I wanted to spend the money now as we can afford too! We might not get the chance to even have another baby!

    I haven't even gone OTT so I feel like I am being told I'm doing things wrong either way! I have to keep remembering as long as it has clothes and love and food it's happy!

  8. #8
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    hi monnie24, it is hard to ignore mil while you are living in her house, but as soon as you have your own place you can set some boundries. Even just limiting the amount of time you spend together will make a difference for you. As for the comments, Im afraid you might just have to grow a thick skin, comments just continue and mulitply, and come from total strangers once your baby arrives. It wont matter how much or how little you spend, it wont matter what the baby is wearing, or if the baby is happy or grumpy, Someone Will Always Say Something, so dont let it bother you. good luck, Marie.

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    Default Feeling annoyed & lonely

    I'm 24 weeks and have been getting the same type of comments from family. Honestly, they are probably just jealous of the lovely things you have got your bub. I didn't go all out but did spend good money on pram
    an car seat as I felt these were important, I also didn't just but cheap cot etc from target as I had heard bad things, and we plan on another in 2 or so years so when you spread the costs out over that I felt my investments were worthwhile!

    But, it's not just baby stuff we have been criticised for, mil questions every time we spend money on our house (hello it's our house and we are making improvements that will make us money in the long run) At the end ofthe day, as long as you can afford what you are doing, and are happy who cares!

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    Default Feeling annoyed & lonely

    First child isn't it???? You do whatever you want as it is your first baby, I think most people get excited and buy numerous things for your first then work out what you used or didn't use and let that be the guide for the rest of your children. Please tell your mil to sod off and enjoy your first pregnancy the rest won't be as relaxing. ;-)


 

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