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  1. #1
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    Default Age gaps... What are yours???



    Only got a yesterday and already stressing a bit over the age gap between my children...

    There is 8 years between my DSD and my DD and now that DD is more mobile (walking etc) DSD is starting to get frustrated with her because DD gets in to everything... She also tries to be the mother and a lot of the time she tries to make DD do what she (DSD) wants to do by carrying her around, holding her arms/legs etc... Which we constantly have to speak to her about... I know she loves her baby sister but sometimes she's just so full on... We don't have her full time (only every second w/end, and week on week of during the holidays) but it may be on the cards in the future...

    So there will be 10 years between DSD and this baby and 2 between DD and new baby... I'm worried for 2 reasons...

    1. That DSD will be worse with the new baby because she is that bit older now...

    and 2. That DD will get jealous because she is used to having me at her beck and call (I'm a SAHM) 24/7 and that she won't really understand what a new baby is and hurt it...

    Am I just being a total worry wart and should just go with the flow??? What are your age gaps and experiences with them???

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Age gaps... What are yours???

    There is almost 4 years between ds1 and ds2. There will be 5 and a half years between ds1 and bub and about 20 months between ds2 and bub.

    Sent from my LT26i using BubHub

  3. #3
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    I have an age gap of 6 1/2 years.

    Just to say...of course your DSD gets frustrated with your little one...it is very natural and normal. DS (8) gets annoyed with DD (2) as well, she gets in and trashes his stuff etc. It is just about helping them baby proof their stuff and having shared areas as well as private areas.

    We now keep DS's bedroom door closed and DD is not allowed in unless DS takes her in (which is very rarely). They play together a lot, but they play in DD's room or in the lounge room. He keeps his special stuff in his room or brings it out once DD is asleep. We have extended his bedtime by 30 minutes so he gets more one on one time with DH and I.

    Just keep reminding DSD about being gentle. We talk a lot with DS about bodily autonomy and DD's right to not be dragged about. We talk about what he likes from other people...ie respecting when he says no, people that are able to not cross his boundaries by watching his body language, about when he feels safe/unsafe etc and this has helped a lot because he is empathising with what DD feels like. Once we started him imagining how it must feel to be her, he really got that "making her give cuddles" was really not OK.

    Once your next little one comes along, your DSD will be prepared and a little older and deal with it better.

    As for your little one coping with her new sibling...i think that is a worry that most parents have regardless of the age gap. And, the thing is...the love grows and there is enough to go around. Things do change and it does get busier...but, it WILL be ok in the long run. There will be some tough days but, have lots of things for little one to do while you are feeding the bub and it will make life easier.

  4. #4
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    Default Age gaps... What are yours???

    There is 6.5 yrs between my brother and I and I would get really frustrated when I was younger as he would get into all my things but mum sat us down and told us both that we each had a bedroom for a reason and that was to be kept for ourselves if my brother wanted to play he would politely ask and we would go play outside or in the lounge room this really worked especially as we got a bit older

  5. #5
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    Default Age gaps... What are yours???

    My boys are 22 months apart and they are best friends already

  6. #6
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    There is 2 years and 4 months between DD1 and DD2. Like you I was at home with DD1 and I doted on her 24/7. When her sister was born she was very jealous and for a few weeks would not let me do anything for her she was very put out. She would also try to hurt the baby by pinching her etc. after a few weeks she settled down. They absolutely love each other now and are very protective of one another, although they still do fight at times but that is normal behaviour IMO.
    there will be 2 years and 1 month between DD2 and this baby due in 4 weeks. I'm hoping the transition is a little easier this time. DD1 is very excited as she will be nearly 4 and a half. Good luck and things will work out because they have to!


 

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