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  1. #1
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    Default Really struggling with our 3yr old.

    I don't know what to do anymore. About two months ago our DS seemed to have a major personality change. He used to be so happy, always very spirited but manageable. Now he just seems so sad and exhausted a lot of the time and his behaviour is now almost out of control. He kicks, hits, blows raspberries, yells. He went into a garden bed at the local shopping centre and started throwing pebbles everywhere for no reason! I was so embarrassed and left in tears. He knows better than that! We always try to be consistent in our discipline. Timeouts for all of the above. Toys are taken away for the rest of the day if he throws them. We give him choices where we can so he feels he has some control. My hubby and I make lots of effort to spend positive time with him. I understand bad behaviour in 3 year olds can stem from needing to push boundaries, and frustration, or attention seeking, but all this seems way beyond that.

    We had a new bubby 6 weeks ago but these problems started before his arrival and my DS doesn't seem to care about the bubby, in fact he usually kisses and hugs him and loves helping with him. So I really don't think that's the problem.

    He also seems bored a lot of the time but I'm doing the best I can with formal activities every day or so (swimming, Gymboree) which he enjoys but the horrible behaviour begins again straight away.

    He's so difficult to live with. I say "would you like" (about to offer morning tea) and he yells No before I can even finish the sentence!

    He asked for help with a toy and I was trying to show him he had it upside down and he hit me!

    It's really upsetting to me. It feels like our relationship is getting damaged beyond repair and to be honest it's getting to the stage where I can't stand to be with him.

    Does anyone have any advice or similar experience? I'm really upset.

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    Default Re: Really struggling with our 3yr old.

    I wish i did. my son us starting to shoe signs of going in that direction too. Yesterdayi took him to run at a friends place with a ball. It helped give both me and him some time out, but I'm looking forward to seeing some responses... I think I'm going to bed some suggestions soon too

    Spent from my dome. Excuse autocorrect

  3. #3
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    Default Really struggling with our 3yr old.

    This is my 3 year old at the moment and we are completely lost. I never like to call a young child naughty but DD has become so rude and naughty is SO embarrassing

    We also take toys away and time out. We try talking to her, explaining things but I can't reason with her anymore because she thinks she is the boss of the house and me and DH are her minions.

    We don't have a NB yet but I am 7 weeks pregnant.

    Anyway. I hope you get some good advice!!

    Edit- with us it's not DDs diet as I don't allow sugar, artificial colours or preservatives.
    Last edited by waterlily; 19-11-2012 at 08:32.

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    Default Re: Really struggling with our 3yr old.

    Two things that come mind - is he overtired? Trying to do to many activities could be having the opposite effect.
    Have you looked at his diet? Too much sugar, colours, empty calories?
    So why I say that, is DD had a similar period, just before DD2 was born. I think I was trying too much, she got so tired, naughty, cranky. I was also giving her not the best food. I now load her up with lots of protein, keep organised activities to 2 a week, and get down to her level when I need to reason with her. Another thing that helps, is praising good behaviour. I hope that makes sense, typing on my phone holding baby 3 is a beautiful age, bit they do need.boundaries. All the best.

    Sent from my LG-P500 using BubHub

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    Default Really struggling with our 3yr old.

    Sounds just like my three year old. I'm thinking if having a good look at her diet.

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    Default Really struggling with our 3yr old.

    DD1 was like that from about 2.5. She's just turned 4 and in the last month or two seems to have a grown out of it for the most part. But I definitely second making sure they get enough sleep. For a long time DD was only having 6 or 7 hours sleep in a 24 hour period and she was awful. It was very unpleasant for everyone, but if she had a decent sleep she was a million times better.

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    Default Really struggling with our 3yr old.

    My DS1 was like like for about a year ... He's now a completely different child and time outs etc. haven't happened in months!!!Hopefully he will grow out of it too.

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    Urgh! My DD just turned 3 and is a nightmare! Her meltdowns aren't as often as they used to be, but are much more intense. If i dont catch it in the first few seconds it goes on and on for minutes (which feels like hours) and there is no reasoning with her. I try to remain calm but its so hard when they re being so unreasonable. eg todays meltdown happened when we saw a Dalmation. I said oh look at that dog - "its not a dog mummy its a cow" and collapsed screaming. I know you are all probably laughing, and months ago I would have been too but at 30 weeks pregnant I'm over it ;o)
    OK - i'm going to get tough on the diet as I wrongly do try and bribe her with food if we are out during a tantrum.

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    Default Really struggling with our 3yr old.

    I agree with other pp perhaps he is overtired and doing to much?
    And take a good look at his diet? I know some kids can't handle artificial sweeteners, sugars, breads and dairy even.
    If all else fails there is no harm in taking him to the doctor just to be sure it isn't something else.

    On another note I do thing terrible 2's prepares us for what 3's have in store!!

  10. #10
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    Default Really struggling with our 3yr old.

    Thanks everyone.

    He IS tired. All the time. But he has always fought sleep while needing a lot of it. Ever since being a little baby.

    So he's in bed about 6:30, asleep about 7-7:30 (have tried earlier but he doesn't get to sleep til same time) and wakes up at the crack of dawn, usually about 5:30, getting earlier with summer, despite trying blackout blinds etc. He usually naps at least 1.5 hours, yesterday he napped for 3 hours! He seems to get decent quality sleep, no sign of apnoeas or unusual restlessness. So I can't think of any way to improve his tiredness.

    His diet is pretty good I think. Only sugar is from fruit and the occasional muesli bar or jam on pikelets (not every day). And his diet certainly hasn't changed significantly since this behaviour deterioration....

    You're right about praising positive behaviour. We try to do that but it's easy to forget when you spend the entire day battling! We started a sticker reward chart for when he goes to the loo without having a tanty (he's fully TT'd but hates going and often cracks a tanty when asked to go before bed/going out etc).

    And about the Dalmatian - I hear ya!! One of our major tanties yesterday was when I was putting his lunch into a green bowl and he started yelling that he wanted the OTHER green bowl (exactly the same!!). For want of a better way of phrasing it, it's like he just picks fights all day long and is really mean!

    Thanks so much those who are having similar experiences. It's nice to know we're not alone. I totally feel like we're failing him because he's such a miserable little boy, but I just don't know what we can do differently.


 

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