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  1. #51
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    Default Step son touching my daughter :(

    Quote Originally Posted by DesperatelySeekingSleep View Post
    You know what. I'm gonna put something out there. Could DP be doing something? Does birth mum have a DP? Don't mean to upset anyone but this is the first thing that sprung to my mind as a real possibility.

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    That's kind of what I was trying to get at in my last post but I didn't want to offend.
    Op don't keep a closed mind about any of this until you know all the facts.
    Again

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    Default Re: Step son touching my daughter :(

    I do not wish to minimise the seriousness of child sexual abuse in anyway...but, have people factored the kids developmental level in to this at all?

    The Ss is 6, not 16, 26, 36 etc

    It seems like people are getting carried away with the issue of child sexual abuse when no-one knows that this is what is happening.

    If this is just normal childhood curiosity then adopting a stance that is reflected in some of the emotive language here will traumatise both her Dd and her Ss.

    As hard as it is you need to find out the truth before you can adequately respond to it...


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  4. #53
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    I am so sorry that you are going through this
    These days it is sad what young children see/hear at school. Any child in primary school with a mobile phone can look up and share all sort of inapproriate stuff
    My 7 yr old nephew once mentioned babies being made by two people having sex and that he would never as sex...bla, bla. I was thinking, how and why does he know this at 7!!

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    Default Re: Step son touching my daughter :(

    Quote Originally Posted by Rachell View Post
    That's kind of what I was trying to get at in my last post but I didn't want to offend.
    Op don't keep a closed mind about any of this until you know all the facts.
    Again
    I read through all the posts but missed yours somehow.

    it could simply be denial but anything is possible these days 9/10 is denial.

    #no statistics quoted. Just a hopeful guess.

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  6. #55
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    When I was 5 or 6 yo, I remember my younger female cousin telling me that she will show me how to make love. She proceeded into taking her PJs off, I was told to do the same and to then lie down on the floor. She then lied on top of me and that was it. She said that is how you make love.
    I can tell you now that there was absolutely nothing sexual about it. I have no idea how she picked this up but we both grew up fine so I doubt there was any abuse. I think she may have seen her parents, or heard something??

    Anyway, just wanting to give you my experience on what can happen between kids.

    I remember telling my mum about it the next day, and she sat me down and had a little talk about love, babies and the like.

    I hope you do get to the bottom of your story, that no child has been abused and that you get proper guidance/advise from another party. Sorry that your DP isn't more supportive.
    I agree with pp, I can't see a 3 yo making this story up.

    Hugs x

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    Quote Originally Posted by LotusUndercover View Post
    Thank you very one I have booked an appointment for dd with our gp tomorrow I want to get to the bottom of this with her, dp just came home and said he spoke to ss at daycare (he had to pick up his older brother) and he said nothing has happened dp also asked the older brother whos 8 and he said he hasn't seen anything so he came home and said he believes the boys so I'm very upset and i am very close to leaving, dp is picking ss up tomorrow and will sit him down properly and talk to him he wants me to stay and wants to work this out but I'm so unsure I explained to him that a 3yr old wouldn't make something like this up in such detail but he said he can't see how as would ever do anything like that
    What a distressing situation to be in. If it were my DH I'd try a sympathetic approach along the lines of, "i understand you don't want to believe it, I don't want to either, and I understand not wanting to deal with it and hope it all goes away. You love your son and you want this to not be happening.. But the fact is something has happened, and we do need to deal with it and find out the truth and what's behind it all. It might be a one off from childhood curiosity and he's embarrassed and doesn't want to admit it because he's scared too. Or it might be a sign of something more serious. We don't know. We need to find out. We need to get professional advice and I need you to be supportive. For me, for our daughter and for your son. It may be nothing to worry about, but we need to know for sure."

    Good luck

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  9. #57
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    I get that you think he is the perfect partner for you,but it doesn't sound like he is the perfect partner to be co-parenting your child with right now.

    Sorry,but your child has to come before your relationship and it sounds like the best thing for right now would be to put some distance between you all until this is sorted out because he doesn't seem to be taking it very seriously.

    Your Partner is a parent too so he should be able to understand your position and if he's as great as you say he is,he'll be there when you've got to the bottom of this.

    If he's not..well,then was he the best choice for you?

    I can't imagine any good parent not being able to understand you doing everything in your power to protect your child.

    Good luck and I hope this is all sorted out soon.

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    A child of this age wouldn't just make this stuff up, something has happened here is my feeling and I would be totally going with that instinct like you are op.

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    So last night I cracked it at dp and left and said until its sorted i don't want to be here he called me this afternoon to come over and when I got here told me that the two boys had said it was all just a game that all 4 kids were involved he has 3 and I have 1 and that the boys said it was a game they were playing girl friends and boyfriends that a kid at school in ss class had told them about it coz this other kid plays the game with another kid in the playground!

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    Default Step son touching my daughter :(

    That sounds like it could be true, so you need to explain to them all that its not appropriate. You might want to get some kind of expert help on how to approach without shaming them.

    How old are the older boys? Wouldn't they be old enough to know better?

    I remember when I was at preschool so about 3-4 there being a discussion about how when you grow up the daddy has to lie on top of the mummy and a couple of kids having a go at it


 

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