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  1. #41
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    Thank you very one I have booked an appointment for dd with our gp tomorrow I want to get to the bottom of this with her, dp just came home and said he spoke to ss at daycare (he had to pick up his older brother) and he said nothing has happened dp also asked the older brother whos 8 and he said he hasn't seen anything so he came home and said he believes the boys so I'm very upset and i am very close to leaving, dp is picking ss up tomorrow and will sit him down properly and talk to him he wants me to stay and wants to work this out but I'm so unsure I explained to him that a 3yr old wouldn't make something like this up in such detail but he said he can't see how as would ever do anything like that

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    Default Step son touching my daughter :(

    I'm sorry but that wouldn't be good enough for me. I wouldn't want SS anywhere near my girls until a professional was involved. I would actually leave if I was in your situation.

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    Quote Originally Posted by LotusUndercover View Post
    Thank you very one I have booked an appointment for dd with our gp tomorrow I want to get to the bottom of this with her, dp just came home and said he spoke to ss at daycare (he had to pick up his older brother) and he said nothing has happened dp also asked the older brother whos 8 and he said he hasn't seen anything so he came home and said he believes the boys so I'm very upset and i am very close to leaving, dp is picking ss up tomorrow and will sit him down properly and talk to him he wants me to stay and wants to work this out but I'm so unsure I explained to him that a 3yr old wouldn't make something like this up in such detail but he said he can't see how as would ever do anything like that


    If I were you I would actually leave and I would call docs before he picks up his son from childcare. Get some professional assistance. The GP will need to report it as a mandatory reporter I would say anyway. I am so sorry he is not supporting you as well. He should not have said anything to either child in my opinion, until the situation had been assessed.

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    Default Re: Step son touching my daughter :(

    From experience even if DOCS are told it won't be something they act on ASAP as long as your child's safe. They'll investigate but can't see much happening instantly. Especially if your SS is saying he hasn't been touched. I reported a case myself as a mandatory reporter about two weeks ago and am not giving a police statement until next week. I totally understand where your coming from though. Is keep her away from him until the matter is sorted.

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    Default Step son touching my daughter :(

    I agree is talking to professionals and reporting it. There could be something going on. I would believe your dd, a 3 year old does not make things up like that.

    I think your DP I probably unsure of how to handle the situation or how to act. It would be daunting for him and I hope he starts to support you and you get the answers you need.

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    Default Step son touching my daughter :(

    Quote Originally Posted by LotusUndercover View Post
    Thank you very one I have booked an appointment for dd with our gp tomorrow I want to get to the bottom of this with her, dp just came home and said he spoke to ss at daycare (he had to pick up his older brother) and he said nothing has happened dp also asked the older brother whos 8 and he said he hasn't seen anything so he came home and said he believes the boys so I'm very upset and i am very close to leaving, dp is picking ss up tomorrow and will sit him down properly and talk to him he wants me to stay and wants to work this out but I'm so unsure I explained to him that a 3yr old wouldn't make something like this up in such detail but he said he can't see how as would ever do anything like that
    Your SS should be speaking to a professional ASAP! Not your partner who has no idea how to speak to a child about such a sensitive matter. He could potentially make the situation worse.
    I'd be saying a really lovely special person wants to talk to him and get to speak to a professional!
    I'm appalled at your DP and his lack of action regarding this.
    Last edited by faroutbrusselsprout; 19-11-2012 at 19:25.

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    Default Re: Step son touching my daughter :(

    Quote Originally Posted by LotusUndercover View Post
    Hi I'm here undercover so please if any of you piece together who I am please don't say anything thanks. I'm and in a really tough place and i have no idea what to do and really need to get this off my chest today my daughter who's 3 told me her step brother who's 6 has been touching her private parts and told her he wanted to have sex with her, I asked her what he did and by the sounds of it he just touched her which makes me sick and so angry and hurt for my daughter anyway I went straight to my DP and told him about it his first response was that doesn't sound like (let's call him S) s he wouldn't do that then I told him all the details and he said ok well I will have a talk to him when I have him next ( we have s 50/50) which isn't really sitting well with me I'm so angry my heart is racing and I just want to take my dd and leave the only thing stopping me is that I really love my dp he is my perfect guy and is a great step dad, but now I keep thinking that I really hate s and I don't want him here or to be around him and that's not good I had such a good relationship with him up until now I also have a younger daughter who can't talk who I am now worried about if he's done that to my dd, am I overreacting? I have no idea what to do
    6 year olds don't get this stuff from nowhere. I'd be concerned that he himself has been abused possibly. Your FIRST responsibility is your daughter. Protect her at all costs... Yes that means you may have to leave.

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    Default Step son touching my daughter :(

    Op

    I can't understand why your Dp won't support you on this.

    If it was me, and I'm going to get slammed for this, but I would be thinking WHY is Dp making such a fuss, saying a 3yo is making things up about being touched.
    What else has your Dp said about it all?
    Does he agree with seeking professional help?

    I get that he doesn't want to believe his son could do something like that, but if someone came to me and said that my child had been touching another's child I would be seeking professional help for my child to make sure nothing underlining was causing him/her to act in that manner.

    It's monkey see monkey do when it comes to children, if your SS is being abused he could be touching your d to try and make sense of it all.

    In these situations I wouldn't trust anyone, not the BM, not DP, no one until the children had a professional talk with them to see what's going on.

    I'm so sorry your in this position OP.
    But I would leave, it doesn't mean that you and DP are over.
    If I didn't have Dps support I would leave, I would tell Dp that with such a sensitive issue I would want his support.
    I would make it clear that you don't think badly of his son, and your not blaming him but that your worried about his son and your daughter and until you can get his full support for both children involved and until you can get to the bottom of what's going on, it would be safer if you and your dd were to be alone.

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  12. #49
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    Default Re: Step son touching my daughter :(

    Hugs. What a horrible situation you are in.

    I have a 6 year old girl. I also have a 3 year old little boy. Now I could be way off, but I know that dd is fascinated by the fact her brothers are different to her and her sister. I have a few times caught her trying to touch her brother, there is nothing sexual about it or anything else, she's just curious, we tell her not to do it, and she understands that it is his body and she can't touch just as he shouldn't touch her.
    Just saying it could be innocent and your ss might be saying nothing happened because he is scared that he is going to be in trouble.



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    Default Re: Step son touching my daughter :(

    You know what. I'm gonna put something out there. Could DP be doing something? Does birth mum have a DP? Don't mean to upset anyone but this is the first thing that sprung to my mind as a real possibility.

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