+ Reply to Thread
Page 4 of 7 FirstFirst ... 23456 ... LastLast
Results 31 to 40 of 67
  1. #31
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    7,053
    Thanks
    6,263
    Thanked
    5,481
    Reviews
    4
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week - Most posts for the week ending 5/6/2014

    Default Re: Step son touching my daughter :(

    Quote Originally Posted by LotusUndercover View Post
    I have been going through everything over and over and while i do understand hes only 6 and it could very well be innocent that hes just seen something on tv or heard something from his older brother or even at school I still keep comming back to the fact that its happened to my baby whos only 3 which is still hurting me I am her mum and I am meant to protect her and I feel like I've failed, I'm not going to fly off the handle at him, dp has agreed that we will sit down together with him and see what he says then explain that thats not apporpirote behaviour, his bm has put all the blame onto us and said shes not dealing with it because it never happened ss would never do anything like that and my dd is making it all up, my dp then said well dd does lie, well yes she does tell little fibs like no i didnt let the cat out but shes never said anything like this before so i trust her 100% she can tell me everything that happend where when everything.
    Oh wow that is so not cool of your DP, I'm sorry but a 3 year old is not capable of making up a lie like that... we'll I don't believe the are anyways. My son was 3 when it happened to him and I had people say the same to me and I have cut those people out of our lives. If they can't believe my son then they can go jump.

    If you need anymore support or someone to talk to you are welcome to pm me, my situation was a bit different but I certainly understand the things you are feeling. I'm so sorry your going through this

    Sent from my GT-I9305T using BubHub

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to peanutmonkey For This Useful Post:

    LotusUndercover  (19-11-2012)

  3. #32
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    1,393
    Thanks
    2,019
    Thanked
    829
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Re: Step son touching my daughter :(

    Quote Originally Posted by Hootenanny View Post
    It's perfectly normal for you to be feeling the way you are but to be honest he is only 6 and I would be deeply concerned for his well being. That type of behavior can be an indicator that he himself has been a victim of sexual abuse and I would be looking very closely at who may be the perpetrator.
    You and your partner may need to seek advice from a child protection agency, this is not something to ignore.
    I work with children and parents on this very issue...I strongly support the wisdom in the above post...your anger is understandable but what this little boy needs will not be well served by anger towards him...while you are in the process of investigating what's happening for him with your DP...just keep monitoring his interaction with your daughter and re-inforce that she talk with you about this stuff. No doubt this feels scary for your DP and his *little* boy too. It is great that your daughter has talked with you.

    If you need to talk more in depth you could google the Parentline in your State. It is anonymous.

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub
    Last edited by Albert01; 19-11-2012 at 15:42.

  4. #33
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Sautéed with bacon
    Posts
    6,070
    Thanks
    271
    Thanked
    2,695
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts

    Default Step son touching my daughter :(

    Quote Originally Posted by waterlily View Post
    I'm going to get absolutely slammed for this, but if this was my partners attitude I would pack my things and leave with the girls. Unless he can 100% admit that your DD was telling the truth, I couldn't keep my girls around SS knowing that my partner didn't really believe it happened.

    Unless he was 100% committed to resourcing every possible avenue to get help for both children I would walk.

    I would get child services involved. They would have proper knowledge and help in this area and would be able to sort out counseling with specially trained counsellors who deal with this sort of thing.

    There is a big possibility that your SS is also a victim so I would want them BOTH being helped.

    It needs to be reported NOW because who knows if BM is already having her own "talks" with SS. If he is being abused she could possibly be making the situation worse. He could shut down and not say anything.
    Yep this.
    I'd be shattered if my DP didn't take this with complete and utter seriousness and commitment. I'd be seriously wondering exactly where he stands on such a traumatic issue (for all involved).

  5. #34
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    in a wormhole
    Posts
    2,769
    Thanks
    4,600
    Thanked
    2,802
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Please seek professional advice about this. Talk to your GP and get a referral to a child psychologist who will do a play based session with your DD to get more info on what happened, and a separate session with your stepson to get a clearer idea on whether he is at risk himself. They will be able to help you work out how to deal with this cohesively as a family too.

    I cannot stress enough how important it is to not just assume its normal and to actually get a professional's opinion. This kind of thing is too easily brushed aside and left to fester, and tears families apart. I know several families who've dealt with similar behaviour and its really scary, but try to stay calm, and seek help. Good luck. x

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MissMuppet For This Useful Post:

    Ellymoe  (19-11-2012),LotusUndercover  (19-11-2012)

  7. #35
    FearlessLeader's Avatar
    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    10,724
    Thanks
    2,498
    Thanked
    9,116
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts

    Default Re: Step son touching my daughter :(

    On hearing that your SS's parents aren't taking this seriously, I am joining my voice to those who say you now need to speak to a professional about this. I truly hope it's all nothing.

    Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710a using BubHub

  8. #36
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    4,765
    Thanks
    1,903
    Thanked
    2,790
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Step son touching my daughter :(

    My DD (aged 5) told me recently when she grows up she wants to have sex. I asked her what she thought that meant and she said it's how you have a baby. I think she heard it at school, and in the absence of any other reasons I am definitely not concerned, However I think you should definitely work out exactly where he got all this from and take it from there

  9. #37
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Somewhere in Vic...Bubhubbing!
    Posts
    2,288
    Thanks
    302
    Thanked
    526
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Okay...I wasnt going to reply but I am. I do think leaving may not be the best thing to do in this situation only because I think an investigation needs to be done BEFORE anyone does anything.

    I understand your need to protect your DD...completely get that, but your DPs son could be in serious trouble and will need your DPs help and yours too if you are willing to give it.

    Your DPs reaction is understandable. Noone wants to be told that its possible your child is a possible peadophile. I think their reactions have a lot to do with shock.

    A bit of background...

    My nephew kept wanting to touch my DSs bum and touch his penis. He would always do it when noone was looking. My son would come up to me and tell me he didnt like it and I would always go tell the nephew that we dont do that, etc, etc. This was happenening from when DS was 4 and nephew was 5. Nephew also liked to put things up his own bottom and would try to do the same to DS.

    I approached my sister. She scoffed and said its 'normal sexual exploration' and told me not to worry about it. Of course I worried and was extremely concerned because I felt that it wasnt normal sexual exploration. SOme of the things he was doing seemed very mature to me and besides my son said he didnt like it. Again I approached my sister and again she didnt believe me.

    So I had to take it on myself to be hyper vigilant whenever nephew was around and my sis just didnt want to or couldnt believe me.

    It came out last year that nephews best friend has been molested for the last 4 years by a older boy in the court and nephews best friend was doing all this stuff to nephew. And in turn nephew was doing it to DS. Older boy has now been taken to court by police.

    Now my sister finally believes me.

    What I am trying to say is as much as it hurts and its a horrible situation to be in, you do need to be hypervigilant when SS is around but dont treat him like he is a monster as something could be happening to him. Whatever it is he needs help and if BM doesnt want to do it your DP must.

    You arent a bad mother. You have done the best you could and you have acted when she has come to you. If your DD isnt distressed then thats a good sign. Something happened which she didnt like and she has come to you and you are taking care of it.

    Dont know where you are but there is a great place in VIC that has lots of information about this as well as a help line you can call. They are http://www.secasa.com.au/

    I wish you all the best.

  10. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to FluffyDucks For This Useful Post:

    Albert01  (19-11-2012),LotusUndercover  (19-11-2012)

  11. #38
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Mid north coast NSW
    Posts
    567
    Thanks
    256
    Thanked
    111
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by waterlily View Post
    I'm going to get absolutely slammed for this, but if this was my partners attitude I would pack my things and leave with the girls. Unless he can 100% admit that your DD was telling the truth, I couldn't keep my girls around SS knowing that my partner didn't really believe it happened.

    Unless he was 100% committed to resourcing every possible avenue to get help for both children I would walk.

    I would get child services involved. They would have proper knowledge and help in this area and would be able to sort out counseling with specially trained counsellors who deal with this sort of thing.

    There is a big possibility that your SS is also a victim so I would want them BOTH being helped.

    It needs to be reported NOW because who knows if BM is already having her own "talks" with SS. If he is being abused she could possibly be making the situation worse. He could shut down and not say anything.
    I agree 100 % you need support right now & if your DP & his ex want to bury their heads in the sand then they are being irresponsible parents to say the least. Good on you for the way you are handling this & protecting your daughter, you have done nothing wrong.

  12. #39
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    19,600
    Thanks
    3,256
    Thanked
    4,044
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts

    Default Re: Step son touching my daughter :(

    Actually totally agree with waterlily.

    3 year old in my opinion cannot make something like that how would she *know* to say that. It's not like she just said he touched her which could have been a misunderstood situation but that sex was mentioned it's too much to be a fib.

    And really "he hit me first!" Is normal fib for a 3 year old. How would a 3 yearold make that up.

    I'm so sorry he's not really being supportive.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using BubHub

  13. #40
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    1,233
    Thanks
    505
    Thanked
    311
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I agree with those who suggest getting professional help. Let a trained, objective party decide if it's a big deal or not.

  14. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Ellymoe For This Useful Post:

    Boobycino  (19-11-2012),MissMuppet  (19-11-2012),PomPoms  (19-11-2012)


 
+ Reply to Thread
Page 4 of 7 FirstFirst ... 23456 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Issues with step daughter !
    By Mummato4 in forum Step-parents / Blended families
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 26-05-2012, 19:12
  2. Letter to my step daughter
    By insomniac in forum Step-parents / Blended families
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 15-05-2012, 14:31
  3. Q bout my step daughter at my wits end
    By Bgirl in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 07-02-2012, 11:21

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
BAE The Label
Versatile, premium maternity wear that you will love throughout pregnancy and long after. Cleverly designed for for all stages of motherhood so that you can 'Just be you (+1)'.
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
Baby U & The Wiggles - Toilet Training Products
Toilet training can be a testing time but Baby U is there to assist you and your toddler with the daunting task of toilet training. With a range of products that can be used at home, on holidays or out & about.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!