We do birthday cakes/dinner when we are all together, the kids make the cake together.
They buy inhouse fun novelty presents for each other at Xmas.
We try to talk on the phone occasionally when DH makes his call. My younger 2 are especially close
Me personally I hate anyone else discussing BM with me but doesn't bother me when it's SD, she doesn't say much just random cute stories that make me laugh ( good stuff about her momma )
We do holidays as a family & keep things as fair as possible. We treat the kids as 1 family & expect others to do the same wether they agree or not lol.