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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunny Lover View Post
    And can I ask why you think kids are better off with their mums?
    Many people think this but I dont agree, not all moms are fit to be moms just like all dads arent fit to be dads. I have known some women who have gotten custody of the kid and the dad was always a better parent once the court systems get out of the 50s it may improve.

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    Happy2be3  (17-11-2012)

  3. #62
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    Default Child support

    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    I never said it was fair.
    If it was you in a blended family with other children would you move to follow your husbands ex around knowing full well that in a yrs time she would move away again just to spite your husband who then apparently should move again all because that's what he should do to see his child

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    Lovemyfam  (17-11-2012)

  5. #63
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    Default Child support

    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    It's far enough to prevent 50/50 care when the child is at school. I would assume this would mean a minimum 30 min drive possibly longer due to peak hour to get child to school & then obviously pick up in the afternoon.

    I'm assuming both dad & stepmum work which may make this difficult. Keep in mind dad also has financial commitments including cs so work is definetly a priority!
    It means leaving at 8am and driving an hour each way with traffic. Not easy when we both work.

  6. #64
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    Default Child support

    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    If it was you in a blended family with other children would you move to follow your husbands ex around knowing full well that in a yrs time she would move away again just to spite your husband who then apparently should move again all because that's what he should do to see his child
    My DH let his ex and his son move from 10 minutes away to over 2 hours away so she could be near her family and her new partner. He went from seeing him 2 x week to 2 x a month.
    He felt it was in his son's best interest to have his primary carer happy and living were she wanted. He wanted her to be allowed to move on with her life as he had with his.
    It was a sacrifice he made which may seem bizarre to others but made perfect sense to him and what was in the best interests of his child.
    Just another POV.

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    HugsBunny  (17-11-2012),Maia  (17-11-2012)

  8. #65
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    Default Child support

    Quote Originally Posted by Bunny Lover View Post
    It means leaving at 8am and driving an hour each way with traffic. Not easy when we both work.
    That's what I thought but I guess if your husband really loves his child & really wants 50/50 care of his child he will quit his job or find a better job that allows him to do this BUT it better not be a job where he's earning less meaning he will be paying less because then he's just a deadbeat dad trying to get out of paying child support & that's just wrong;P

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  10. #66
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    Default Child support

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    Actually they can do something if you have proof she is working or making more income than she is they have to listen and do something, stay on them and dont let them play the poor other parent trick on you because they will try
    LMF, what proof do you think we would need? We have phoned and told them. They called her and confirmed it. They phoned DH back an said it was a "negligible amount". Thats not the point, shouldn't the assessment be accurate? Secondly, she has confirmed to us that she is "working a lot" and if she is working as much as she has described then wouldn't that take her above the self support amount? Most probably. They did a new assessment about a month ago as they had not received income information and the old assessment has expired so they did a provisional income which from what I understand was based on the average. She phoned them (I can only assume) and a further amended assessment arrives about a week later with her income back at $0. We don't know what else to do. We don't have any other proof.

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    Default Re: Child support

    If you have evidence to prove she is working they have to investigate. We just got my husband's cs changed as we were having an ad hoc arrangement with our time (still same amount just different times) as it fit better with his work roster. His ex was saying that we didn't have any care when we have 20%. I had kept records of every visit we had since we deviated from orders and CSA went in our favour on it as we could prove it and she couldn't disprove it. I guess proving she's working is a bit harder than that but if she says where she works and you document conversations about it they would consider that especially if its over a long period of time.

    Document everything it comes in handy sometimes.

    Nothing to say on the distance thing we live 2hrs away so we won't get more than what we have now.

    Sent from my HTC Desire HD A9191 using BubHub

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  13. #68
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    Default Child support

    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    That's what I thought but I guess if your husband really loves his child & really wants 50/50 care of his child he will quit his job or find a better job that allows him to do this BUT it better not be a job where he's earning less meaning he will be paying less because then he's just a deadbeat dad trying to get out of paying child support & that's just wrong;P
    Couldn't agree more! Just cant win..

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    Default Child support

    Quote Originally Posted by Gemma121 View Post
    If you have evidence to prove she is working they have to investigate. We just got my husband's cs changed as we were having an ad hoc arrangement with our time (still same amount just different times) as it fit better with his work roster. His ex was saying that we didn't have any care when we have 20%. I had kept records of every visit we had since we deviated from orders and CSA went in our favour on it as we could prove it and she couldn't disprove it. I guess proving she's working is a bit harder than that but if she says where she works and you document conversations about it they would consider that especially if its over a long period of time.

    Document everything it comes in handy sometimes.

    Nothing to say on the distance thing we live 2hrs away so we won't get more than what we have now.

    Sent from my HTC Desire HD A9191 using BubHub
    Thanks Gemma, I think we will have to start doing that.

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    Default Child support

    I guess at the end of the day, we won't move. She moved 3 hours away from where they were both living (2 min walk from one another) .. Yes she had to move on with her life.. So we then followed her and didn't get much of a choice about where we were placed with work.. For DH, it was that or stay where he was and be unemployed for a significant amount of time. We moved to where we are now and bought a house and she moved AGAIN. So no, I can understand DHs reluctance especially as where we work is not very secure at the moment and our jobs are safe, for now. If he were to transfer etc he would more than likely be made redundant. We have a child together who is settled where he is in terms of who cares for him during work hours and moving closer to her would make me further from my family support who are already an hour away in the other direction.


 
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