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  1. #141
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    Quote Originally Posted by HugsBunny View Post
    My kids travel 1.5 hours every second Monday morning to get the school. It sucks and is in no way in their best interests. It needs to change.
    I am about to do about an hour drive daily when I move. It's how far I am willing to go to ensure DS goes to a good school and his schooling isn't disrupted by changing.

    i guess the thing is, what about picking step-child up from school on Friday after school, drop off monday. There is your half a week, then factor in holidays etc. but this isn't what the OP is about anyway. It's about a disgruntled step mother wanting her husband to pay less CS and be able to justify it to herself.

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  3. #142
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    Default Child support

    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I am about to do about an hour drive daily when I move. It's how far I am willing to go to ensure DS goes to a good school and his schooling isn't disrupted by changing.
    Yeah I agreed to it so that the kids had that extra night with their dad, Friday afternoon til Monday morning but my 7yo isn't coping with his dad dropping him at school and is quite frequently late to school as a result.

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    Quote Originally Posted by HugsBunny View Post
    Yeah I agreed to it so that the kids had that extra night with their dad, Friday afternoon til Monday morning but my 7yo isn't coping with his dad dropping him at school and is quite frequently late to school as a result.
    How come he's not coping? Is it because he's late?

  5. #144
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    Default Child support

    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    How come he's not coping? Is it because he's late?
    Yes, being late and having to say goodbye to his dad at the school gate. When they were coming back to me on Sunday nights he was fine but he's convinced himself that he hates his school here and is getting very anxious about leaving myself or his father to actually go to a school. I think part of the problem is that his dads new gf has a son in kindy at the old school he went to. They get along well and I don't think he gets that they wouldn't be in the same class. This boy also cries every time my son leaves his house to go back to his dads.

    Throw in a court case that forced us to move back to our previous town and then my ex dropped that case an let us move back here where we wanted to be (causing my son to start the year at this new school, then have to go back to his old school for a term, then come back to the new one again) and its understandable that he's one incredibly confused little boy.

    I also wouldn't put it past my XH to be trying to convince him how awesome it'd be to live with his dad etc etc though I've no proof that that's what's happening.

    I don't begrudge XH spending time with the kids and I always said I'd never stop him but when it's impacting my son this badly then I have to somehow stop the Sunday nights so that he's getting enough sleep and is able to cope with school.

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  7. #145
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    Yeah fair enough, sounds stressful. I hold an extremely unpopular opinion but in 99% of cases I do not agree with 50/50 care for primary school aged children. I think it's more about making the parents feel better sometimes at the expense of the children. I truly believe a child is much better off having a consistent home life during the school week and being with the more disciplined parent when it comes to homework, reasonable bed times, and getting the child to and from school on time.

    I have never really understood what is so wrong with Fri-Sun nights, that's when the family/fun times happen!

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  9. #146
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    We also travel 40km to school, which in peak hour traffic can take up to 1.5 hours. Once I have dropped DD off I get a tram into the city to go to work (another 30 minutes). While we would love a bit more sleep, DD and I enjoy our car trips in the mornings. It's a nice way for us to spend time together chatting and listening to music and stuff.

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    Default Child support

    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    Yeah fair enough, sounds stressful. I hold an extremely unpopular opinion but in 99% of cases I do not agree with 50/50 care for primary school aged children. I think it's more about making the parents feel better sometimes at the expense of the children. I truly believe a child is much better off having a consistent home life during the school week and being with the more disciplined parent when it comes to homework, reasonable bed times, and getting the child to and from school on time.

    I have never really understood what is so wrong with Fri-Sun nights, that's when the family/fun times happen!
    Couldn't agree more! There are provisions in the orders that the Sunday night stops if its impacting the kids' schooling so I should be able to stop it easily enough. It's quite heartbreaking to see how anxious my son gets.

    I think we owe our Children a decent nights sleep and they have a right to an education. If not enough sleep is hindering them receiving said education then something's gotta give.

    Unfortunate that I'll be labelled as the b¡tch ex wife who is withholding the children but you get that *shrugs*

  11. #148
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    So you expect the mother, with full custody and who I'm assuming does by far the bulk of drop off and pick ups, to put the child in a school closest to the father, who only does (again assuming) sporadic pick ups? Surely it's logical to have the child in a school closest to the custodial parent (whether that be dad or mum?) Since we are speaking of best interests of the child, how does it serve them to commute ages every day with the mother so that the occasional picks by the father are shorter?

    The mind boogles lol

    As to the OP, I forgot to add I didn't see that your DH had 50/50 before school. I can understand the lack of contact must be really hard and well done to him he wants to be involved and see his child more I'm not sure I agree with some of your comments, but I also understand, growing up in a blended family that it's hard for you guys too
    its suppose to be 50/50 which means the father and mother would do 50/50 of the drop offs I assume. Everything in half so it would make sense to find a good school half way in between the parents.

    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    Lovemyfam I have a question ok. You say there are studies suggesting children are better off having a relationship with their father. The OP's husband's child still has a relationship with dad, as do the vast majority of the children of the single/repartnered mothers you have a go at on a daily basis.

    of all of the posters I have come to know, YOU are the only mother who has gone to the extent of moving your children to ANOTHER COUNTRY away from their biological father.

    so, either you agree not ALL children are better off having a relationship with their father (personally my DS isn't due to his father's questionable behaviours) OR you are a bit of a walking, talking contradiction.

    have you heard the saying about those who live in glass houses? Because you are the only one around here who deliberately hindered children's relationship with their dad by moving overseas with the children. If somebody else said that your automatic response would be to leave the children with the father at any cost.
    See this is where you guys get confused. My ex had every right to visit the kids any time he did not. He would call every once in awhile asking how they were and for pictures and we would talk about them. When I met someone I contacted him and told him I had met someone and he loves the kids and the kids love him. We chatted a bit about the new relationship, the engagement and the kids. He asked if I was going to move back and I told him prob not because you wouldnt be able to see the kids if you wanted. He then said well if you should it would be good for them so we talked and then we moved.

    we dont have a toxic relationship, we broke up he had rights to see the kids, I never tried to take his money the government never tried to take him money. Once a case was opened not sure how but he simply called me I asked him how much they wanted he told me and I closed the case and told them he paid me by cash. I think this is the best way forcing someone to do something is just going to cause drama. If he doesnt want to send money to the kids its his choice. His money his choice. So what you guys just cant get is he wanted me to move the kids here he thought it would be better for them then the US not sure why that is a hard concept to grasp. They didnt have a father in their life for a long time (and I am seeing the effects of it and my new husband is working to fix them with me) so moving them away from their dad was no different then living right next to him and them never seeing them.

    Quote Originally Posted by ItWasntMe View Post
    LMF, you know NOTHING of Australian CS and family law here. Stop writing based on America law. CSA, while FTB drops for every dollar of CS received or not, it costs the government more money to run it then they distribute.
    For your comment that if there is enough proof she will get caught, well my ex has been working cash in hand for 3 years now. I gave CSA full details of company, exes run, etc and they will not pursue it.
    You are lucky that you have the choice whether to accept CS or not. A lot of people do not have that luxury as it is how they can afford food or roof over their heads. I doubt you have trouble accepting money from your new husband for support of your kids though. I also doubt you are turning down any government benefits you would be eligible for.
    Oh god if you think I am writing based on US laws you are way off base. In the US you dont just get CS you have to go to court to get it there is no telemarketing company deciding what is fair its a court that decides. You have to stay on CSA you cant just say here is the proof now take more money. If you know he is working cash in hand send the proof to the tax office I am sure they would be very interested.

    Also I have struggled and had to work extra hours to put food on the table but I did it without forcing my ex to give me money he earned.

    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    I'm confused what is a troll, I've seen it on another thread, apologies in advance if its a dumb question
    a troll is someone who posts crazy posts to start drama, here a troll is someone who doesnt agree with the majority or have different views.


    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I am about to do about an hour drive daily when I move. It's how far I am willing to go to ensure DS goes to a good school and his schooling isn't disrupted by changing.

    i guess the thing is, what about picking step-child up from school on Friday after school, drop off monday. There is your half a week, then factor in holidays etc. but this isn't what the OP is about anyway. It's about a disgruntled step mother wanting her husband to pay less CS and be able to justify it to herself.
    That a pretty bold statement to make and pretty rude assumption par for the course around here I guess.
    Last edited by Lovemyfam; 18-11-2012 at 14:46.

  12. #149
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    Default Child support

    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    Yeah fair enough, sounds stressful. I hold an extremely unpopular opinion but in 99% of cases I do not agree with 50/50 care for primary school aged children. I think it's more about making the parents feel better sometimes at the expense of the children.
    Unpopular opinion amongst parents, but child psychologists and social workers generally agree.
    50/50 care for school age children during the week is rarely in the best interests of the child.

  13. #150
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    Personally I think they should just be happy with weekends if it means less disruption to the child's life.

    As for "new family" yuck, don't even get me started on everything wrong with that!

    there is no alienation here, she moved 40kms away. She doesn't need his consent to move house, much to your dismay.

    show me the studies please.
    Oh and Ill get those studies together for you and post them


 

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