I've written and re-written this blog in my head over and over today trying to decide how much to say. Basically, something happened today with a friend of mine that in the past would've sent me searching immediately for a frozen lasagna, a big bowl of ice cream and some chocolate to boot. In short, I felt like crap. Utter crap.
After hitting what I thought was my lowest point last week, this really threw me for a loop. While I'm still sad about it, I went about my business today with my day off work. I did Rush in the morning, I ate healthy despite what had happened and eventually I put on Exhilarate in the afternoon. Unlike yesterday, by about the second song in, I was giving it my all, it really is my favourite workout. I had phoned in Rush this morning but I decided that I need to get myself in control. I need to stop letting external sources affect me and continue on with becoming the person that I want to be and not the person that I have been.
Today was a challenge. It was a challenge not to seek comfort in food to deal with my emotions and it was a challenge to release my involvement in that particular situation even though it's killing a part of me to do so.
I handled it as best as I could and even though I'm writing this with tears streaming down my face, I feel proud of myself. I seem to be breaking some of that cycle of feel crap, eat crap, feel crap that I've been stuck in for the last decade and that fact my friends, is not at all a cause for tears.