Or was it your dd who fell?
Or was it your dd who fell?
I think you are being a bit harsh, clearly the poor thing is traumatised. Maybe she feels responsible for your MIL's fall. Children react in different ways, my mother is terminally ill and her physical condition is now quite bad DS now refuses to see her as it scares him - he is 8 and I respect his opinion, I have talked to him about his fears but I won't push him to see her. He asked to see her on her birthday last week and when I saw him getting anxious we went home. Instead of punishing her, talk to her and maybe have MIL talk to her and let her know she is ok.
We have talked about the fact that anyone can fall over and that it was an accident. She said that it was because she was scared that nan would hurt herself again. We have reasoned to no avail. She wants nan to buy her things but wont go with her. IMO she is trying to get her own way. I dont see any problem. She will play happily here with MIL but wont go out with her. MIL pays for the activities (her choice) so DD should be so grateful as we couldnt afford for her to do both.
Buy she was quite happy to go with mil before these two accidents? I dint think it's fair to punish her tbh, she has formed some association between outings and injuries by the sounds of it. Is there any other reason why she would suddenly start avoiding mil? It was probably scary for her & she doesn't want to be alone with her, understandable really. I would just work on building her confidence around mil at home.
The poor kid is obviously anxious! Don't punish her as she can't help how she is feeling. Maybe get her to do small activities with MIL and then build back up to swimming etc. She needs to have her brain 'retrained' to know that she can do things with MIL without seeing her fall
Maybe you could tag along with your DD and MIL a couple of times to ease your DDs anxiety about MIL having a accident. Don't punish your DD she may just be scared.
I think you need to cut her some slack. The poor thing is probably terrified of another accident happening and mil being seriously injured, with dd being unable to help. You said mil fell and grazed her face, and dd also witnessed another lady falling down some stairs. These incidents would've traumatic to dd and she is obviously worried about 'elderly' people being hurt.
How about you all go together for a while? Give it a few months and gradually see if dd will go with mil alone. Punishing her like this isn't going to help
You have answered your own question, the writing is very clearly on the wall. She is traumatised by the accidents and quite clearly feels somewhat responsible, give that poor little girl a break. Take a step back and try to see things through her eyes, she is not being naughty or trying to get her own way she is simply a 7 year old CHILD!
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