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  1. #11
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    I wouldn't say anything.

    I think there are lots of valid reasons for a child to not go and do prep early. Nothing to do with academics or socialisation but maturation. It does sound like this girl may not be ready for prep due to her maturation and for that reason I think it's wise to keep her from starting prep too early. Children who lack the maturity of their peers in prep can really struggle and this has ramifications for self esteem and confidence.

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  3. #12
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    Default Do you say anything if you disagree with friends parenting?

    Well I believe that children should be held back from school as late as possible.

    I have advised my friends of this, but only because they have asked my professional opinion because I am a teacher.

    I don't ever tell my friends how to parent, but I have offered advice when they have been having a tough time, or if they've asked.

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    LoCo  (14-11-2012),twotrunks  (15-11-2012),wrena  (14-11-2012)

  5. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Well I believe that children should be held back from school as late as possible.
    Can I ask a quick Q (sorry, derailing). My DS was going stir crazy in kinder/child care at age 4. Causing trouble, getting bored, didn't want to go. He started primary one month after he turned 5 and has been a model student since. Loves going to school, never complains of boredom and hasn't been in trouble.

    I always thought I'd want to hold a little one back, especially boys, but I'm not sure whether he went to a bad kinder or was genuinely ready for school.

    How long do you recommend they stay behind? And I have to say in a lot of instances I agree with you, I look at some of the children at school and they're really just babies.

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    I've come across heaps of articles like this that suggest that pre-school is not necessarily a positive thing for the development of social skills and that it can impact negatively on future academic success. Maybe your friend isn't trying to baby her youngest, but rather has more time on hands to be in a position to give her daughter the time she needs in order to thrive at home. In my opinion it is a strange thing to disapprove of and if you do feel the need to say something then just tell her your reasons for choosing to do things differently

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  8. #15
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    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    I wouldn't say anything.

    I think there are lots of valid reasons for a child to not go and do prep early. Nothing to do with academics or socialisation but maturation. It does sound like this girl may not be ready for prep due to her maturation and for that reason I think it's wise to keep her from starting prep too early. Children who lack the maturity of their peers in prep can really struggle and this has ramifications for self esteem and confidence.
    This is what I was coming in to say. It sounds like the little one would struggle next year. I'm assuming her mum will start her in prep the following year? Or straight into grade 1?

    In either case, it's not up to you to advise her on when to start her youngest at school. Its totally up to her and her partner. I know from personal experience how hard it is to watch a friend do something that you really *really* disagree with, and if you try to change her mind you will most likely end up losing a friend.

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    Yuck! Just saw some of the other content on the site I linked to. There are lots of similar reports on less offensive pages if you do a google search. It's just a pain to link on the ipad

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    Quote Originally Posted by Euphrosyne View Post
    I wouldn't say anything. I don't think it's my place to offer unsolicited advice to other parents. The parent knows their child best. The only exception would be in the case of imminent physical danger.
    ^ This.

    It's not putting the child at physical harm, so I wouldn't say anything. You could ask why if you wanted, so that you can find out her exact reasoning for it and after the conversation you may realise she has some valid reasons and you would have saved yourself from offering advice that wasn't asked for and possibly offending your friend or ruining the friendship.

    I think that in this case you just have a different opinion and you would do something different, but if it's not compulsory to attend, it's that way for a reason - for parents to make the decision what suits them and their child. I don't have an opinion on this as my DD is only 8 months old and I wouldn't know what I'd do, but it's not the sort of thing I would worry too much about, it doesn't sound to me like her decision is going to do any damage to her child.


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    I don't think you have a right to say anything.

    In YOUR opinion, this child may benefit from attending. In YOUR opinion the mother is not wanting her to attend because she's mourning the loss of her small children. But that's just YOUR opinion, not the straight-up truth.

    If you're in Qld, as far as I know sometime soon (I actually thought it was next year) Prep is actually compulsory anyway, so it might be worth mentioning you'd heard this somewhere so perhaps she should look into it... but otherwise, I don't think you have the right to comment. She is not harming her child, and while it's not what you'd choose to do, it's not your place to make these decisions, so I think you'd do nothing but look like a bit of a twit if you made a comment to her about it.

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    Maybe really she is struggling financially and that's why she won't be sending the little one to kindy? You don't really know 100%.. If ""I"" was struggling financially and wasn't going to send dd to kindy, then i certainly wouldn't tell anyone.

    I wouldn't say anything. She may change her mind by the end of next year regarding prep. Children do grow and change over the course of a year. I have seen a few kids in kindy and they are still babied and clingy etc.. I think each child is different, by sending her to kindy might not un-baby her necessarily.

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    Default Re: Do you say anything if you disagree with friends parenting?

    I take a deep breath and ask myself is the child being harmed, are they cared for and nurtured.... and steer the topic away tbh.

    Though maybe a very close friend I'd say something if I really felt something I'd suggest hadn't occurred to them or if I was asked directly.

    But not really in that situation unless I was asked and even still there's what *I'D* do and that's not necessarily right or wrong either.

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