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  1. #61
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    Default What to do in this case???

    Quote Originally Posted by River Song View Post

    It takes time for the raw feelings from the relationship to go away and then the parenting as a team can start to work.

    In this case...i feel Cleigh's ex is overstepping a boundary and she is right to defend it. In order for a good parenting relationship with an ex to happen...you need to maintain those boundaries and make sure the ex does not rule your life by dictating what the kids do.

    .
    Totally agree.

    My ex and I get along much better now than we did for most of the time we were together. Once we got past the emotions and anger and blame, we became a really good parenting team, and good friends as well. There is no way he would ever tell me what to do with DD in my time with her, and vice versa.

  2. #62
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    Realistically I would consider telling him that it's something that you're going to struggle to get him too, so it would be in DS and your Ex's best interests to wait til he's a little older, or things settle for you.

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    Cleigh  (13-11-2012)

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    Default Re: What to do in this case???

    Havent read the other replies as of yet but i wouldnt start any sport with a child in their first year at school due to it being absolutely exhausting as school is full on.

    Can you ask him if he can wait another year?

    I noticed with my DS this year starting school, if he were to do a sport, he would struggle throughout his days and would hate doing either the sport or going to school.

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    Amira  (14-11-2012),Cleigh  (13-11-2012)

  6. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cleigh View Post
    Excuse me? My ex partner and I have a great relationship. We make desions together when it comes to the kids. I just dont see how putting my DS in a sport of his choice, when I dont find it the right time for him and when Im the one that will be doing all the run around for something he wants our son to do.

    We both make it our business not to talk negativly about each other and what happened in the past stays in the past. We hold no grudges against each other. Like I said, if he wants DS to do a sport, he can take him.



    Bitey Bitey I have an objection to the fact I will be the one doing everything. I will have to be the one that stands there watching being bored out of my wits, I will be the one rushing around doing everything and (because I KNOW him) he will be the one taking ALL the credit. He will be the one with the big head thinking HE has done something amazing for his child when he is the one that will never be there. He will always put his GF's priorities infront of his childrens. He will never be there watching and cheering and never be there for matches or whatever else they have.

    It doesnt hurt the argument though saying I HATE AFL
    It's not about you or who 'takes all the credit', it's about your son. And if he never has any intention of being involved in it, then why we would he suggest it & offer to pay for it ?

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    LifeInShadesOfGrey  (14-11-2012)

  8. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by loumia View Post
    And if he never has any intention of being involved in it, then why we would he suggest it & offer to pay for it ?
    If he's anything like my ex, it's because he wants the child to be the next football sports star and then he can go around saying "yeah that's my boy! That's why I put him in Auskick when he was 4, I'm such a great dad!".

  9. #66
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    Default What to do in this case???

    It seems to me that people are making this whole thread about OP and her relationship with her ex, NOT the child, which is the very thing everyone is condemning her for?
    I think it's ur choice, and I hope whatever ur decision, is made for the right reasons. Best of luck

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    Maybe try and put yourself in his position? Imagine that there was an activity that you really really wanted DS to participate in....but (for arguments sake let's say) it is only on Thursday afternoons, and you HAVE to work every Thursday afternoon. But exDH has every Thursday off.

    Would you think it would be selfish of him to say no to taking him?

  11. #68
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    Default What to do in this case???

    How about everyone who isn't a single parent and doesn't know what it is like to do every single thing for their child and still be told what to do by their ex p!ss off out of the single parents section and stop throwing judgements around. This area is for support for single parents, if you don't wish to be supportive then keep it to yourself.

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    Ellewood  (14-11-2012)

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    Default What to do in this case???

    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    How about everyone who isn't a single parent and doesn't know what it is like to do every single thing for their child and still be told what to do by their ex p!ss off out of the single parents section and stop throwing judgements around. This area is for support for single parents, if you don't wish to be supportive then keep it to yourself.
    She's not a single parent as she has a new partner!

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    Pawzette  (14-11-2012)

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    Default Re: What to do in this case???

    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    How about everyone who isn't a single parent and doesn't know what it is like to do every single thing for their child and still be told what to do by their ex p!ss off out of the single parents section and stop throwing judgements around. This area is for support for single parents, if you don't wish to be supportive then keep it to yourself.
    So are people who are / were single parents ment to just say oh yes it is SO unfair of your ex to offer to PAY for an activity that he thinks your ds would like?
    The op has openly admited she doesn't WANT her child to do it because SHE doesn't like the sport and thus doesn't want to take him,

    I have been in the situation where my every decision was controlled by my then dp, i mean really controlled not just having him offer to pay for an activity for our son,

    He saw his ds 6 hours a week and would say i will be over on x day and so we would stay home and he would not show,

    My then ex showed very little interest in being involved or supporting our ds.

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    Pawzette  (14-11-2012)


 

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