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  1. #61
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    Default What to do in this case???

    Quote Originally Posted by River Song View Post

    It is very possible to have a good parenting relationship with someone you think is an ****, at least you are not still with them lol and it makes it bearable.
    .
    This is refreshing to know - because it's very new to me and right now I can't stand my DH, who has suddenly left while I'm pregnant, along with a 14mth old. To know we still have the chance of a good parenting relationship gives me some hope!

  2. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesca77 View Post
    This is refreshing to know - because it's very new to me and right now I can't stand my DH, who has suddenly left while I'm pregnant, along with a 14mth old. To know we still have the chance of a good parenting relationship gives me some hope!
    It is possible. You just gott try be the bigger person. We are going through so much atm... Well he is putting me through it. I just see it as I dont give a rats right now.

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesca77 View Post
    This is refreshing to know - because it's very new to me and right now I can't stand my DH, who has suddenly left while I'm pregnant, along with a 14mth old. To know we still have the chance of a good parenting relationship gives me some hope!

    It takes time and effort...but it can be done. I hated my ex for a while, but...8 years later...we mainly do OK. DS is totally unaware of any issues and is happy. Ex and I sometimes fall out, but we do that away from DS.

    It takes time for the raw feelings from the relationship to go away and then the parenting as a team can start to work.

    In this case...i feel Cleigh's ex is overstepping a boundary and she is right to defend it. In order for a good parenting relationship with an ex to happen...you need to maintain those boundaries and make sure the ex does not rule your life by dictating what the kids do.

    hugs Pesca...it will be ok.

  4. #64
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    Default What to do in this case???

    Quote Originally Posted by River Song View Post

    It takes time for the raw feelings from the relationship to go away and then the parenting as a team can start to work.

    In this case...i feel Cleigh's ex is overstepping a boundary and she is right to defend it. In order for a good parenting relationship with an ex to happen...you need to maintain those boundaries and make sure the ex does not rule your life by dictating what the kids do.

    .
    Totally agree.

    My ex and I get along much better now than we did for most of the time we were together. Once we got past the emotions and anger and blame, we became a really good parenting team, and good friends as well. There is no way he would ever tell me what to do with DD in my time with her, and vice versa.

  5. #65
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    Realistically I would consider telling him that it's something that you're going to struggle to get him too, so it would be in DS and your Ex's best interests to wait til he's a little older, or things settle for you.

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  7. #66
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    Default Re: What to do in this case???

    Havent read the other replies as of yet but i wouldnt start any sport with a child in their first year at school due to it being absolutely exhausting as school is full on.

    Can you ask him if he can wait another year?

    I noticed with my DS this year starting school, if he were to do a sport, he would struggle throughout his days and would hate doing either the sport or going to school.

    Sent from my GT-I9000T using BubHub

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    Amira  (14-11-2012),Cleigh  (13-11-2012)

  9. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cleigh View Post
    Excuse me? My ex partner and I have a great relationship. We make desions together when it comes to the kids. I just dont see how putting my DS in a sport of his choice, when I dont find it the right time for him and when Im the one that will be doing all the run around for something he wants our son to do.

    We both make it our business not to talk negativly about each other and what happened in the past stays in the past. We hold no grudges against each other. Like I said, if he wants DS to do a sport, he can take him.



    Bitey Bitey I have an objection to the fact I will be the one doing everything. I will have to be the one that stands there watching being bored out of my wits, I will be the one rushing around doing everything and (because I KNOW him) he will be the one taking ALL the credit. He will be the one with the big head thinking HE has done something amazing for his child when he is the one that will never be there. He will always put his GF's priorities infront of his childrens. He will never be there watching and cheering and never be there for matches or whatever else they have.

    It doesnt hurt the argument though saying I HATE AFL
    It's not about you or who 'takes all the credit', it's about your son. And if he never has any intention of being involved in it, then why we would he suggest it & offer to pay for it ?

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  11. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by loumia View Post
    And if he never has any intention of being involved in it, then why we would he suggest it & offer to pay for it ?
    If he's anything like my ex, it's because he wants the child to be the next football sports star and then he can go around saying "yeah that's my boy! That's why I put him in Auskick when he was 4, I'm such a great dad!".

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    Default What to do in this case???

    It seems to me that people are making this whole thread about OP and her relationship with her ex, NOT the child, which is the very thing everyone is condemning her for?
    I think it's ur choice, and I hope whatever ur decision, is made for the right reasons. Best of luck

  13. #70
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    Maybe try and put yourself in his position? Imagine that there was an activity that you really really wanted DS to participate in....but (for arguments sake let's say) it is only on Thursday afternoons, and you HAVE to work every Thursday afternoon. But exDH has every Thursday off.

    Would you think it would be selfish of him to say no to taking him?


 

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