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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cleigh View Post
    Excuse me? My ex partner and I have a great relationship. We make desions together when it comes to the kids. I just dont see how putting my DS in a sport of his choice, when I dont find it the right time for him and when Im the one that will be doing all the run around for something he wants our son to do.

    We both make it our business not to talk negativly about each other and what happened in the past stays in the past. We hold no grudges against each other. Like I said, if he wants DS to do a sport, he can take him.



    Bitey Bitey I have an objection to the fact I will be the one doing everything. I will have to be the one that stands there watching being bored out of my wits, I will be the one rushing around doing everything and (because I KNOW him) he will be the one taking ALL the credit. He will be the one with the big head thinking HE has done something amazing for his child when he is the one that will never be there. He will always put his GF's priorities infront of his childrens. He will never be there watching and cheering and never be there for matches or whatever else they have.

    It doesnt hurt the argument though saying I HATE AFL
    It doesn't have to be boring! Get involved, cheer, bring oranges, shake pompoms. My DS is four and did AK this year and it's so cute and hilarious. My kids play minky hockey and go to swimming club and singing club and the more involved you become as a parent, the more you both get out of it.

    It's not about taking credit, it's about making memories.

    I also loathe AFL. I'm allergic to all sport.

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    Default What to do in this case???

    I agree with Atropos - it does sound as though you only have an issue with it because it's something the ex wants him to do. Unless you haven't given all the details, I can't see a valid reason as to why you don't actually want him playing afl. You just you 'don't want to take him'.

    You also say he is too young for organised sport, but you would be ok with martial arts - your choice for him.

    I'm not trying to judge - I don't envy your position and dread the day I have the same issues! Thankfully DS is only 14mths so a long way off. But perhaps push your own feelings aside and think of your DS?

  3. #43
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    If you have such a great relationship then perhaps you should be discussing this with him and not whinging about him and his GF, and his priotitisation of his child, to random strangers in a public forum! Believe me, and I speak from experience, if he or his GF, has even a passing interest in you, it will get back to him.

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    I'm allergic to all sport.
    Same

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    Default Re: What to do in this case???

    Quote Originally Posted by Cleigh View Post
    Excuse me? My ex partner and I have a great relationship. We make desions together when it comes to the kids. I just dont see how putting my DS in a sport of his choice, when I dont find it the right time for him and when Im the one that will be doing all the run around for something he wants our son to do.

    We both make it our business not to talk negativly about each other and what happened in the past stays in the past. We hold no grudges against each other. Like I said, if he wants DS to do a sport, he can take him.



    Bitey Bitey I have an objection to the fact I will be the one doing everything. I will have to be the one that stands there watching being bored out of my wits, I will be the one rushing around doing everything and (because I KNOW him) he will be the one taking ALL the credit. He will be the one with the big head thinking HE has done something amazing for his child when he is the one that will never be there. He will always put his GF's priorities infront of his childrens. He will never be there watching and cheering and never be there for matches or whatever else they have.

    It doesnt hurt the argument though saying I HATE AFL
    And when your son grows up he won't remember who payed for it he will remember who was there, who sat on the side lines and appeared supportive of her child, will that be you?

    I feel your pain, my ds is only 2 1/2 but VERY sporty and i suspect i will be sitting on the side lines every saturday for foot ball despite the fact that i detest sports and would prefer to be at home,

    His father refuses to do anything outside with him and has said straight up i.am not going if he does sport, that hurt me at first til i realised I will be the one my son remembers being there, his father will just be the one who didn't bother

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    Quote Originally Posted by SPC View Post
    If you have such a great relationship then perhaps you should be discussing this with him and not whinging about him and his GF, and his priotitisation of his child, to random strangers in a public forum! Believe me, and I speak from experience, if he or his GF, has even a passing interest in you, it will get back to him.
    Love, its called venting. Not whinging. And last time I checked pretty much everyone on here does it once in a while.

    And Pescca, like I said. Im not putting him in anything until he is like 8, or starts actually asking of his own free will to do something.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cleigh View Post
    Bitey Bitey I have an objection to the fact I will be the one doing everything. I will have to be the one that stands there watching being bored out of my wits, I will be the one rushing around doing everything and (because I KNOW him) he will be the one taking ALL the credit. He will be the one with the big head thinking HE has done something amazing for his child when he is the one that will never be there. He will always put his GF's priorities infront of his childrens. He will never be there watching and cheering and never be there for matches or whatever else they have.

    It doesnt hurt the argument though saying I HATE AFL
    But won't the same be happening with a martial art? practice twice a week, waiting around. I'm not a single parent, but if saw a single mum on the side lines at austkick cheering her son on, I'd be thinking what a fantastic mum Whether you run him to AFL or karate YOU are doing the hard work and YOU should take the credit for being a supportive, hands on mum.

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    I don't see you as being selfish at all...it is not your DS asking to do the sport, it is your ex trying to determine what you do with your DS on your time.

    No way in hell I would do it lol

    If my ex wants to choose DS's sport...then he would have to make himself available to take him. I would help on the odd occasion but no way would i let him rule our lives that way.

    Now, if DS wanted to do it (and he was actively pursuing it) I would let him.

    As for martial arts...there is plenty of teamwork in it.


    I think people seem to be confusing things....your DS has not asked to do it because it is his passion and something he loves...her ex is telling her he will do it.

    OP, i think your hesitation is totally justified and I would be waiting till he is older. If ex wants an organised sport...enrol in him in of the ones that let you try a heap of different sports and let your DS choose later.

  9. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to River Song For This Useful Post:

    Kiplusthree  (14-11-2012),shelle65  (13-11-2012)

  10. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by River Song View Post
    I don't see you as being selfish at all...it is not your DS asking to do the sport, it is your ex trying to determine what you do with your DS on your time.

    No way in hell I would do it lol

    If my ex wants to choose DS's sport...then he would have to make himself available to take him. I would help on the odd occasion but no way would i let him rule our lives that way.

    Now, if DS wanted to do it (and he was actively pursuing it) I would let him.

    As for martial arts...there is plenty of teamwork in it.


    I think people seem to be confusing things....your DS has not asked to do it because it is his passion and something he loves...her ex is telling her he will do it.

    OP, i think your hesitation is totally justified and I would be waiting till he is older. If ex wants an organised sport...enrol in him in of the ones that let you try a heap of different sports and let your DS choose later.
    THANK YOU!! If it was my DS asking me with no pressure from his dad, I would say of course darling anything for you! lol But, I feel like he is trying to tell me what to do with our son. Taking up my time with something he wants.

    I know now he is FIFO it will be hard for him to do these things, but thats not my problem.

  11. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    But won't the same be happening with a martial art? practice twice a week, waiting around. I'm not a single parent, but if saw a single mum on the side lines at austkick cheering her son on, I'd be thinking what a fantastic mum Whether you run him to AFL or karate YOU are doing the hard work and YOU should take the credit for being a supportive, hands on mum.
    Yeah and the thing is, I am very hands on. I take them out all the time. I take them to the beach alone when DP is working, to the play center, to the park. I do a lot on my own and Im proud of it. But why should i do this because he wants it. If he wants it he can do it. Be the involved dad that he pretends to be.

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Cleigh For This Useful Post:

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