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  1. #31
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    you dont seem to have a problem telling people your views so i would just tell dad no. if you need to give him a reason, tell him why like you told us.

  2. #32
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    Default What to do in this case???

    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    Ok please don't bite my head off as I'm genuinely trying to understand. You say you don't want your son playing the sport as you seem to have an objection to it, yet you say you'd be fine with it if his father took him. So is it a case of having an objection to the sport or just not wanting to take him?
    I agree with this.

    My DD has dancing every Saturday between 12-1, I can tell you now it absolutely ruins our weekends but it is something DD adores, so we make it work. We also have more dancing during the week AND swimming, it's exhausting but it's unfortunately part of being a mum, especially a single one.

    Yes I understand your son is not obsessed yet but what's to say he wouldn't prefer Auskick to Martial Arts? He likely to make many more friends at Auskick vs any martial arts in my opinion but my only objection would be starting any activity in grade 1 instead of prep as I know from experience DD was exhausted in prep doing dancing just once a week for 45mins.

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  4. #33
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    Default What to do in this case???

    From what I can see, your objection is based on how it will impact you. You can't say it's because he's too young etc when you'd be willing to put him in another sport- ie martial arts.
    It comes across very much as if you don't want him playing auskick because his dad wants him to. I don't think he should miss out on the opportunity so that you can exert your "power" over the ex iykwim. I do understand, it's sh!tty having to deal with an ex all the time and make decisions based on what they want too.
    I say let your DS try it out at least. Swallow your pride, it won't cost you money, and will only take up 2 hrs of your week.
    Sometimes you just have to pick your battles, you know? This is a positive thing for your DS. I don't think your ex has made this offer to annoy you- he's made it for his son to try a new game. It's a good thing.

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  6. #34
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    Default Re: What to do in this case???

    Quote Originally Posted by SPC View Post
    The point of shared parenting is shared parenting. If you can't agree on something as some as an extra curricular activity it doesn't bode well for more complex decisions. This sounds more like a pet minded gripe with your ex than a genuine objection to his choice of activity for his son. You have to be willing to compromise or you will cause unnecessary tension between you, which will have negative consequences for your son. The worst thing for children is to hear their parents being negative about one another. I suggest you make a plan with your ex and then live with it gracefully.
    Isn't it her right to say 'no, I don't want to spend my time that way?'
    When did it become a petty gripe for a person (even a Mother!) to exercise some degree of choice over how she spends her time...the little that remains in any parents schedule after immediate and compulsory family, home and work responsibilities are fulfilled.
    Dad is a grown man (if ex is male ) who has the ability to make his own decisions about how he spends time with his son and if it is important for him that his son gets to try out Auskick he will find a way.

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    Last edited by Albert01; 13-11-2012 at 20:13.

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  8. #35
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    Yep- there is no doubt about it- Saturday sports are a pain in the butt, especially in winter when your dragging kids here and there and all over the countryside. I have 4 in 4 different sports- logistically it's a damn nightmare and I actually dread saturday mornings because they can be so stressful getting to the games on time, some games can be up to 100kms away from each other.
    But......
    the benefits outweigh all that. The kids are learning new skills, making new friends, learning to be part of a team and all the responsibility that comes with that.
    One plays rugby league (yeah I'm one of THOSE mums), one plays soccer, another plays netball and another plays soccer too but in a different age group so different times and fields to the other soccer player.
    Anyway, my point is, that while I might hate getting up at 6 on a saturday morning to get them to their teams it's actually not about me. Its about them.
    I think that if your little guy really wants to play it then he should be given the opportunity.

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    I just think you should discuss with DS that he can play one sport this session and what sport would he like to choose to play? Tell him mummy and daddy suggest martial arts or AFL but it's up to him. Maybe he'd like soccer (little kickers) or little athletics, nippers or swimming.

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  12. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Albert01 View Post
    Isn't it her right to say 'no, I don't want to spend my time that way?'
    When did it become a petty gripe for a person (even a Mother!) to exercise some degree of choice over how she spends her time...the little that remains in any parents schedule after immediate and compulsory family, home and work responsibilities are fulfilled.
    Dad is a grown man (if ex is male who has the ability to make his own decisions about how he spends time with his son and if it is important for him that his soon gets to try out Auskick he will find a way.

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub
    When she chose to share the raising of a child with another person. You don't seem to have a clear understanding of the concept of shared care. Do you understand the term FIFO? This is not a situation where one parent can veto another's choices for the child. Parents do not have any rights whatsoever, children have rights, parents have responsibilities. Are you are parent?

  13. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by SPC View Post
    The point of shared parenting is shared parenting. If you can't agree on something as some as an extra curricular activity it doesn't bode well for more complex decisions. This sounds more like a pet minded gripe with your ex than a genuine objection to his choice of activity for his son. You have to be willing to compromise or you will cause unnecessary tension between you, which will have negative consequences for your son. The worst thing for children is to hear their parents being negative about one another. I suggest you make a plan with your ex and then live with it gracefully.
    Excuse me? My ex partner and I have a great relationship. We make desions together when it comes to the kids. I just dont see how putting my DS in a sport of his choice, when I dont find it the right time for him and when Im the one that will be doing all the run around for something he wants our son to do.

    We both make it our business not to talk negativly about each other and what happened in the past stays in the past. We hold no grudges against each other. Like I said, if he wants DS to do a sport, he can take him.

    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    Ok please don't bite my head off as I'm genuinely trying to understand. You say you don't want your son playing the sport as you seem to have an objection to it, yet you say you'd be fine with it if his father took him. So is it a case of having an objection to the sport or just not wanting to take him?
    Bitey Bitey I have an objection to the fact I will be the one doing everything. I will have to be the one that stands there watching being bored out of my wits, I will be the one rushing around doing everything and (because I KNOW him) he will be the one taking ALL the credit. He will be the one with the big head thinking HE has done something amazing for his child when he is the one that will never be there. He will always put his GF's priorities infront of his childrens. He will never be there watching and cheering and never be there for matches or whatever else they have.

    It doesnt hurt the argument though saying I HATE AFL

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    Default What to do in this case???

    Can one of his dad's family members take him? I would just talk to your ex and say hey it doesn't work for me but If you have any ideas how to make it work I'm all ears. A compromise? You take him to practice they take him to the match.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackEyedPea View Post
    I just think you should discuss with DS that he can play one sport this session and what sport would he like to choose to play? Tell him mummy and daddy suggest martial arts or AFL but it's up to him. Maybe he'd like soccer (little kickers) or little athletics, nippers or swimming.
    This. I also hate AFL but if my DS wanted to try it I would let him.


 

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