Dd is 22mo.
She has always been a pretty good sleeper...
But this past week everything single part of parenting has me wanting to scream.
Last night was the worst.
12 hour straight of screaming murder, when I go into her room she is happy and laughing, trying to play games with me, like peeka boob and honking my nose.. when I think I have her settled and leave the room she starts the screaming again.
I tried just having her in my arms in her rocking chair but she just kept trying to get out of my arms and play.
No tempreture, ears and throat are clear, no sign of a virus..
No sugar in her diet, she has a very clean healthy diet, her molars came through about a month ago and she was in pain and settled in my arms, but now it's just like she is fighting her sleep so much.
It's really hard for us to get out, I'm a SAHM and we don't have a car, Dh uses it for work, so yes we are bored most days.
Today I walked her to the park, then we went in the pool, chased bubbles did some dancing and played ball in the back yard for quite sometime in the hopes I could cure her boredom and pucker her out.
I just put her down to bed as she was, well seemed, tired.. But now my house is filled with screams again.
The next door neighbors have already been over this morning to see if everything was ok after last night
I'm exhausted, I hate hearing her cry but I just can't face her right now, I'm so frustrated!!
Half the problem is she keeps throwing her pig out of the cot that she won't sleep with out.
Hubby is on the road for work all day and I'm so worried about him because he has had no sleep either (he just can't sleep with all the crying and me crying at points too)
Something needs to give sooner or later and I'm starting to feel like I just can not take it anymore..
I've tried putting her in our bed, she just plays etc.
she must just be so overtired right now that sleep is just out of the question.
Then her tantrums..
I really feel like I'm failing.
From a day today basis I will get smacked in the head, I was given a bloody nose the other week from her slamming a book in my face.
She will bite, pull my hair, throw things at me, hurt herself all because she can't always get her way.
I had DHs shoe thrown at my this morning..
She picked up a little dog (Chihuahua) this morning and threw her down the back steps! I was mortified and immediately went down to her level and told her that is not how we treat Annabelle, that it was completely unacceptable" and I put her in time out straight away.
She did not care, she found the whole thing funny.
Even in time out she just sat in the corner giggling over her socks and was saying "I'm naughty" grrrr!!!!
I took her toys away, told her why..
She hasn't even missed them, doesn't even care they are gone really.
I spend all this time making her lunch, she will throw it on the floor, ill make her pick it all up and then it's a huge dilemma to get her to eat, she does eventually but not without a fight.
The other week I was driving along 5 lanes of traffic doing the speed limit of 110kms when I noticed she had gotten out of her car seat and was bouncing on the back seat.
I have tightened her straps but she will pull her arms out and then her legs and by the time I can pull over to give her my full attention and tell her that's not how we behave in the car and put her back in she is out of the seat and climbing around.
I don't want her in the car anymore it's just to dangerous!
But obviously I can never not take her into a car again...
I feel like I'm the poorest excuse of a mother and this past 24 hours has just had me in tears.
I have no idea on the right or wrong way to discipline, it's seems if you raise your voice your causing damage, smacking is child abuse and putting them in time out is cruel.. I just don't know how to stay consistent with anything.. Especially when all of it is just Fun and games for her, I feel like a push over, that she knows how to push me and knows how long to push me until I cave and just give into what she wants.
I feel like her behavior is just going to get worse and I just have no control over certain situations.
I can't help but feel regret that I decided to become a mum, when I'm just doing such a crap job and its the little person who didn't choose to be born that suffers.
I only have 1 child, so this should all be easy for me, I have been told plenty of times "Your not really a parent until you have had more than 1 so it isn't that bad" and that quote just keeps going through my mind and reminding me of how much of a stuff up I feel I am right now.
Sorry, I just really needed to vent all that as I feel like I can't make it to 6pm when hubby gets home.