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  1. #1
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    Default VENT. I can't take this for much longer.

    Dd is 22mo.
    She has always been a pretty good sleeper...
    But this past week everything single part of parenting has me wanting to scream.

    Last night was the worst.
    12 hour straight of screaming murder, when I go into her room she is happy and laughing, trying to play games with me, like peeka boob and honking my nose.. when I think I have her settled and leave the room she starts the screaming again.
    I tried just having her in my arms in her rocking chair but she just kept trying to get out of my arms and play.

    No tempreture, ears and throat are clear, no sign of a virus..
    No sugar in her diet, she has a very clean healthy diet, her molars came through about a month ago and she was in pain and settled in my arms, but now it's just like she is fighting her sleep so much.

    It's really hard for us to get out, I'm a SAHM and we don't have a car, Dh uses it for work, so yes we are bored most days.
    Today I walked her to the park, then we went in the pool, chased bubbles did some dancing and played ball in the back yard for quite sometime in the hopes I could cure her boredom and pucker her out.
    I just put her down to bed as she was, well seemed, tired.. But now my house is filled with screams again.
    The next door neighbors have already been over this morning to see if everything was ok after last night
    I'm exhausted, I hate hearing her cry but I just can't face her right now, I'm so frustrated!!
    Half the problem is she keeps throwing her pig out of the cot that she won't sleep with out.
    Hubby is on the road for work all day and I'm so worried about him because he has had no sleep either (he just can't sleep with all the crying and me crying at points too)
    Something needs to give sooner or later and I'm starting to feel like I just can not take it anymore..
    I've tried putting her in our bed, she just plays etc.
    she must just be so overtired right now that sleep is just out of the question.

    Then her tantrums..
    I really feel like I'm failing.
    From a day today basis I will get smacked in the head, I was given a bloody nose the other week from her slamming a book in my face.
    She will bite, pull my hair, throw things at me, hurt herself all because she can't always get her way.
    I had DHs shoe thrown at my this morning..
    She picked up a little dog (Chihuahua) this morning and threw her down the back steps! I was mortified and immediately went down to her level and told her that is not how we treat Annabelle, that it was completely unacceptable" and I put her in time out straight away.
    She did not care, she found the whole thing funny.
    Even in time out she just sat in the corner giggling over her socks and was saying "I'm naughty" grrrr!!!!
    I took her toys away, told her why..
    She hasn't even missed them, doesn't even care they are gone really.
    I spend all this time making her lunch, she will throw it on the floor, ill make her pick it all up and then it's a huge dilemma to get her to eat, she does eventually but not without a fight.

    The other week I was driving along 5 lanes of traffic doing the speed limit of 110kms when I noticed she had gotten out of her car seat and was bouncing on the back seat.
    I have tightened her straps but she will pull her arms out and then her legs and by the time I can pull over to give her my full attention and tell her that's not how we behave in the car and put her back in she is out of the seat and climbing around.
    I don't want her in the car anymore it's just to dangerous!
    But obviously I can never not take her into a car again...

    I feel like I'm the poorest excuse of a mother and this past 24 hours has just had me in tears.
    I have no idea on the right or wrong way to discipline, it's seems if you raise your voice your causing damage, smacking is child abuse and putting them in time out is cruel.. I just don't know how to stay consistent with anything.. Especially when all of it is just Fun and games for her, I feel like a push over, that she knows how to push me and knows how long to push me until I cave and just give into what she wants.

    I feel like her behavior is just going to get worse and I just have no control over certain situations.

    I can't help but feel regret that I decided to become a mum, when I'm just doing such a crap job and its the little person who didn't choose to be born that suffers.
    I only have 1 child, so this should all be easy for me, I have been told plenty of times "Your not really a parent until you have had more than 1 so it isn't that bad" and that quote just keeps going through my mind and reminding me of how much of a stuff up I feel I am right now.

    Sorry, I just really needed to vent all that as I feel like I can't make it to 6pm when hubby gets home.
    Last edited by Liddybugs; 13-11-2012 at 14:24.

  2. #2
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    Default VENT. I can't take this for much longer.

    Ok stop right there! You are NOT a poor excuse for a mother!!! The fact that you posted this shows you care!

    Has your dd always been like this or is this a recent change? Have there been any other changes recently?

    It sounds like you are tired and stressed and that is the first thing you need to take care of. A child can pick up on negative energy.

    In the short term Is there a friend or relative who can look after your daughter for half a day or a few hours to give you a break? Also, stuff the housework for a few days, focus on walks, reading, watching tv or whatever tickles your fancy.

    In the medium term I'd check in with your local maternal child health clinic and get some advice. If you are not sure who to contact your local doctor would be a good source of information.

    In the long run you need a strategy that challenges your daughter (developmentally) and gives you a break. Are you able to register your daughter for daycare 1-2 days per week? Could your hubby do drop off or could you do drop off via the bus?

    Please look after yourself and let us know how things go. Xxx

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    mrswhitehouse  (13-11-2012)

  4. #3
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    Default VENT. I can't take this for much longer.

    I don't mean to be condescending but can you look up a few episodes of "supernanny"? Jo Frost was always great at helping parents with consistency.

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    Default VENT. I can't take this for much longer.

    Is she still having a day nap? My daughter dropped hers around that age and her behavior was almost identical to that, when we dropped it she started sleeping a lot better

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    You poor thing. The "you're not really a parent until you've had more than one" could not be further from the truth.

    Not really sure what to suggest here, perhaps arm yourself with some parenting books. I found at that age 'discipline without shouting or spanking' had some fun techniques and distractions. I might read it again actually.

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    Default Re: VENT. I can't take this for much longer.

    The next time you get that ‘‘you‘re not really a parent cause you only have one child‘‘ crap, look at them strangely and state ‘‘Gosh! I had no idea 22 months ago I actually birthed an eggplant! Whoa. Why didn‘t anyone tell me?! ‘‘ in a really sarcastic manner.

    As for the problem with the sleeping thing, i really have no advice, only lots of hugs.

    Sent from my HUAWEI-U8850 using BubHub

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    Default VENT. I can't take this for much longer.

    Have you checked her diet for additives/colours/nitrates or even an intolerance to wheat/dairy that may be making her miserable?

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    Default VENT. I can't take this for much longer.

    sounds like you are having a beyond tough time! That dose not make you a bad mum in any way!
    Have you tried putting her on a bed? Or takin her cot side off? She might be ready for a big bed? I know she's only little but I could be worth a try? Or a night light?
    ETA: the discipline side of thing, you do what you feel comfortable with I have smacked my children for 1year, and it wasn't a thud it was a tap, they got the idea pretty quick. But what is right for me may not be for you
    The car seat, you can get these panels that clip in between the two straps so they can't get out, they are like little contortionists and can get in and out of all places. Hun you are doing a great job please don't beat yourself up!!
    Last edited by bubbabailey; 13-11-2012 at 14:57.

  10. #9
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    Default VENT. I can't take this for much longer.

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Ok stop right there! You are NOT a poor excuse for a mother!!! The fact that you posted this shows you care!

    Has your dd always been like this or is this a recent change? Have there been any other changes recently?
    She has always been like this, but not with sleep..
    She has always gotten very angry very easily and lashes out.
    I've seen a few drs about it but they just tell me it's a toddler thing and to just ride it out.. I must say her behavior has always concerned me, she just seems to have more anger and a shorter attention span that her peers.

    Nothing had changed recently, it's been getting hotter so I was going to put the portable air con back in her room today as we had that in there this time last year when she was waking up really sweaty.

    I would love to put her in daycare, there is one just behind our house so I could walk her there etc a lady on our street also does home day care and has Vacancies every now and again .. It's just money..
    I have been meaning to call centerlink to see how much of a rebate ill get back, I just haven't gotten around to doing it yet.

    We do have family close by, but they are not much help
    I called mum today to see if she wanted to take dd to the water park.. She always says "I've had my kids, it's you turn to deal with the hard times" it really gets on my nerves, she will watch dd here and there but it's such an effort for her, and ill get a phone call about an hour later asking how much longer ill be etc..
    DHs family aren't much better.. Sometimes I feel like dd is just so out of control no one wants to watch her and they are just feeding my excuses as to why they can't etc.
    hubby is really good though and will often tell me to just go out for a bit or to just leave dd with him.
    So I have his support but he works so much I just feel like I'm adding to his stress..

    I'm just having one of those weeks

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I don't mean to be condescending but can you look up a few episodes of "supernanny"? Jo Frost was always great at helping parents with consistency.
    No, it's not condescending at all.
    I have had a few people now saying I should follow her advise.
    I might have to get on YouTube and watch some of her episodes to see what it's all about.

    Quote Originally Posted by Just*Ace View Post
    Is she still having a day nap? My daughter dropped hers around that age and her behavior was almost identical to that, when we dropped it she started sleeping a lot better
    Well.. She is suppose to be having a nap.. It hasn't been happening though
    Tomorrow I might not even bother for a nap and just see how she goes.

  11. #10
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    Default VENT. I can't take this for much longer.

    I also suggest 1-2 days in daycare. You can have a much needed break and dd can be challenged by teachers and make some new friends. This age is really hard rachell I'm feeling your painxxxx


 

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