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  1. #11
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    Default Re: Do you take your own toys to the playground?

    Quote Originally Posted by ilovehats View Post
    Thanks everyone. I think the boy was around 2, so still young but old enough to know that hitting isn't ok. The more I think about it the more I wish I had asked the mum to remove the ball so it doesn't cause any more problems. I was too polite though.

    Interested to know how people handle incidents like this where another kid has hit or hurt theirs? Is there any kind of unwritten etiquette for stuff like this???
    If the parent doesn't deal with it i will, if the child repeatedly hurts.mine i tell him to crack the kid back .

    We have a child we go to playgroup with who is a horribly behaved child hurts others constantly and mum just lets him.

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  2. #12
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    Default Re: Do you take your own toys to the playground?

    I take toys too but if ds isnt using it and another kid gets it my son had to deal i say if you can't share you can just not play with it and i won't bring it next time

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  3. #13
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    Default Do you take your own toys to the playground?

    DD often hits other kids sometimes as a type of greeting and also out of frustration. She is 21 months and has been doing it for months. I always apologise to the parents, tell DD hitting is not ok, get her to apologise and then redirect her. It's horrible and embarrassing when your child hits but you can't control everything they do. What else (aside from remove the ball) would you have liked the mum to do? I'm not asking in a narky way I genuinely want to know as I am often in the other mothers situation!

    We often take toys to the park and if DD isn't playing with them they are fair game!

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    Kiplusthree  (12-11-2012)

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    Default Re: Do you take your own toys to the playground?

    ...

    2yo is a very young and egocentrical age.. Have you ever heard the term 'terrible two's'? And may I ask is your 13mnth old your eldest child?

    Im not saying it is OK for children to hit at all, and please don't take offence for me saying this but.. 2yo is really not old enough to automatically know better, they are essentially still babies and still very underdeveloped in the areas of the brain which deal with empathy. The mother you say made her child apologise?

    Personally I think expecting a 2yo to know to share with a stranger is a recipe for dissapointment, sure it is plausable they might, and often do, but it is oh so common for one to behave in the way you've described when they see something they want they will go for it/dont understand fully the concept of sharing yet.

    If your 13 mnther is your first its a natural reaction for you to feel protective and maybe not have much experience with the different ages yet so not know what to expect? But honestly this is so normal for a 2yo, you may find yourself on the other end of this story in just a few months time, ball taken away to me is definitely a fair punishment and please dont think I am saying he shouldnt have been disciplined.

    Just saying that you really shouldnt expect too much of a 2yo child. The mothers reactions, maybe more yes.. Children certainly need discipline to learn; but as you said she did ask him to apologise .. A time out or taking the ball away would be all the extra I would do, any more then that like going home from park etc would be overkill I think.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kiplusthree View Post
    ...

    2yo is a very young and egocentrical age.. Have you ever heard the term 'terrible two's'? And may I ask is your 13mnth old your eldest child?

    Im not saying it is OK for children to hit at all, and please don't take offence for me saying this but.. 2yo is really not old enough to automatically know better, they are essentially still babies and still very underdeveloped in the areas of the brain which deal with empathy. The mother you say made her child apologise?

    Personally I think expecting a 2yo to know to share with a stranger is a recipe for dissapointment, sure it is plausable they might, and often do, but it is oh so common for one to behave in the way you've described when they see something they want they will go for it/dont understand fully the concept of sharing yet.

    If your 13 mnther is your first its a natural reaction for you to feel protective and maybe not have much experience with the different ages yet so not know what to expect? But honestly this is so normal for a 2yo, you may find yourself on the other end of this story in just a few months time, ball taken away to me is definitely a fair punishment and please dont think I am saying he shouldnt have been disciplined.

    Just saying that you really shouldnt expect too much of a 2yo child. The mothers reactions, maybe more yes.. Children certainly need discipline to learn; but as you said she did ask him to apologise .. A time out or taking the ball away would be all the extra I would do, any more then that like going home from park etc would be overkill I think.

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    Er, yes I have heard of the terrible two's and have a big family so have been there and seen that. I have a lot of empathy with the mother. I didn't react angrily and I know I could very well be in a similar situation soon and I know that many children go through this type of phase. BUT she knew her child was going to react like that and STILL brought the ball into the playground, which in my opinion is tempting fate and not on, especially when there are lots of younger toddlers around.
    Last edited by ilovehats; 12-11-2012 at 20:13.

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    Default Do you take your own toys to the playground?

    The only way her child is going to learn how to share is by taking toys to the park. I think the mother did the right thing. He's not going to learn by leaving toys at home.

    As for me, I take toys depending on the park we are going to. I let other children play with our toys and if my children want to play with toys, they ask whoever owns the toys.

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    I don't actually think its the mothers responsibility to remove the ball. They chose to take it and that's their right to do so the same as if you wanted to bring items. A two year old is still just a baby and I'm sure you were really upset that your child was hit but at two they are definitely still learning that this is wrong. Maybe yes the mother should have encouraged her child to share but she didn't, maybe she couldn't be bothered keeping her eye on it and making sure it was returned. We all have to learn in life that we don't always get what we want ......I hope your child is ok and wasn't hurt though.

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    Default Do you take your own toys to the playground?

    Sometimes I'll take a ball along for DS who is 2, I manage it by making sure I don't leave it lying around when he drops it. He doesn't understand sharing yet. Believe me I am working on it! We go to a play group once a week and I explain sharing and taking turns. He simply doesn't get it yet! And I don't expect him to, he's only 2 and he's learning.

    Also if there are toys lying around the playground I stop him when he goes for them. They aren't his, so I don't believe he should be able to just pick them up and play with them without asking first. I am teaching him 'not yours'. Again, he doesn't get it yet - but he will. Until then I will continue to help him in these situations.

    So I don't let his behaviour at this age stop me from taking a ball to the park but I would try not to let the situation you described happen.

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    Default Re: Do you take your own toys to the playground?

    Yeah if the other kid was 2, then that changes things a bit IMO. I was thinking more like 4 or something. I think you were being a bit precious, really. Sometimes 2 year olds are little divas, then 5 minutes later sweet as pie. As BRV said, how is he meant to learn to share if he doesn't experience other kids around his stuff? I know there's been plenty of times I took my 2 year old to the park and totally misunderestimated his mood. Sometimes toddlers whack each other, sometimes they don't share. They're toddlers.

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    DS usually takes a collection of something to the park, I try to remove it without him noticing while he's excited about the playground. I don't expect him to share, even at home, his toys are his toys, we're slowly getting him to understand that his room is a safe space for his things and that will extend to pockets/pram for outdoors.

    My two year old would've done the same thing probably as the two year old in the story... and even worse, he's the size of a five year old.

    I wouldn't have taken him home, if it continued to be an issue I would've, but for a once off I would rather he learnt by being there and playing appropriately in a social situation, it also wouldn't be fair on the siblings.


 

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