This challenge is changing me in a major way. I am slowly becoming more of the person that I want to be. My attitude towards exercised has changed so dramatically. We all seem to keep saying this but doing my Zumba DVDs doesn't feel like "working out", it just having fun with the added bonus of burning tonnes of calories. I am now the kind of person who will come on here and say "doing Mix today I only burned 480 calories". Only 480 calories. Three weeks ago, that would've been a huge calorie burn...who am I kidding? Three weeks ago, I wouldn't have been doing anything that burned 480 calories!
Today I did Rush in the morning and Mix this evening. Yup, two workouts. On a Sunday. Traditionally whenever I'm trying to lose weight, weekends are fair game. I find an excuse to skip my workout. I give myself a "cheat day" (read: "cheat weekend") and basically undo a lot of the good work from through the week. Anyway, my weekend was good and I didn't cheat. I actually had little inclination to do so. My niece and nephew even offered me M&Ms today and I politely declined them!
I'll come back and finish this later, a friend's boyfriend is harrassing me on Skype but I want to post this just in case I get distracted and don't come back lol!
Okay, I'm back! So yeah, I'm really happy with the changes that this competition is doing for me. I'm starting to look past the eight weeks and into a future where I'm a happier, healthier person than I have ever been. I don't want to be the girl who shies away from photographs, who feels like crap when shopping for clothes and who hates seeing herself in the mirror. More than anything I want to be happy and I want to be healthy and if I achieve those two things, then the weight loss will inevitably happen of its own accord.
I cannot begin to tell you how grateful I am that I was picked for this challenge. I hope and pray that those who are reading along with our journeys can have the strength and willpower to do this. To make these changes to your lives, to become an active person instead of a sit on the couch person. Life can be hard and it can get in the way but if you're committed, you can do this.
In Jenny's (anewme) motivational thread today I posted one of my favourite quotes ever and I've also added it to my signature. The quote is "Don't sacrifice what you want most for what you want right now!". How often do we eat crap and feel guilty about it afterwards? That momentary pleasure for so much pain. Barring actually injuring themselves in the process, nobody has ever done exercise and thought "oh damn, I wish I hadn't done that" or eaten healthy for a week and thought "oh damn, I would've felt so much better if I'd eaten crap!".
The other thing I'm actively trying to stop is the negative self-talk. I think we're all guilty of this (or I'm a freak of nature!) but I put myself down in my head a lot. A LOT. I can only focus on my flaws and I have had days where I've told myself over and over how fat and ugly I am. It might be when I catch a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror. Or when I see my shadow at the train station. Well I'm telling you (and myself) now. From here on in, this is going to stop. No more being the biggest cow in the world to myself and if I catch myself saying something negative, I'm going to endeavour to think of two positive things straight away to cancel it out.
My body is not perfect but it has handled everything that I have thrown at it. When I fed it crap, it dealt with that the best way it could. Over and over again I repeated the abuse. Starving my body of the nutrients and exercise it needs because I was so addicted to bad foods that I didn't care what it did to my body. I hated my body for being overweight yet I'm the one that got it there. I work in Payroll and one of the ladies at work always says about the system "garbage in, garbage out" as in if you put crap data in the system, you'll get crap data out. So now I need to put "good data" into my system. Eat right. Exercise. My body will be so thankful to me for finally getting myself into gear.