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  1. #1
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    Default Competition in development

    I don't know what I should be doing!

    My little man is 30 months. So far I have just been letting him develop at his own rate. We haven't really started toilet training yet as he doesn't really seem interested at all, he still sucks a dummy all the time, he still has a bottle of milk a couple of times a day and he goes through phases with his sleep either self settling or needing me to lay with him. I don't want to rush him to grow up. If he's interested in something then we expand on it. He can count to 15, can sing at least 3 nursery rhymes, knows at least 4 colours. He talks to us about a lot of different things and is an active little boy.

    The reason I'm so confused is because I keep getting told by a close friend that he should be toilet training if not trained completely like her son (the same age), he shouldn't have a dummy, he shouldn't use a bottle, etc etc etc

    I thought I was doing the right thing by letting my little guy develop at his own rate not pushing him but now I don't know.

    What do other parents do? Do you push your little ones at all? I just want what's best for my little man.

  2. #2
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    Default Competition in development

    Personally we're not pushing the toilet training, I think DS (28months) will start being more interested in it in his own time and we don't want him to develop any fear/control issues over it.
    DS also still has a dummy, but this Christmas we're planning to leave it for Santa to give to new babies.
    I do think there are some things that they need to be forced into learning like manners, sharing etc.
    But it's also important to focus time on the things they like and that they're good at so they can boost their self-confidence and feel good about themselves too

  3. #3
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    Default Competition in development

    We are very lucky Sjay, DS is great with his manners and he shares everything. So far we haven't had to force anything on him. The biggest reason I'm concerned is because of my friend telling me what he should be doing or not doing at his age.

  4. #4
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    Default Competition in development

    Nothing wrong with letting him develop at his own pace but some things might need encouragement to move on from like bottles & dummies.

    Being comfort items he's not likely to want to give them up by himself without an incentive & encouragement.

    Toilet training will come in time as long as he is being introduced to it - ie: talking to him about using the toilet and not needing nappies once he is ready. No need to rush it but talking about it is a non invasive way of putting the idea out there

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    Meh as long as your little one is happy, developing in most ways then you're doing the right things. My ds (breastfed till he was over 2) took a liking to a bottle and told me he wasn't giving it up till it broke. It only broke when he turned 4 and he was ok with that. He was doing everything else so I felt it didn't matter.

    What I don't get is how some people have children and then become 'experts' on what other peoples children should be doing.

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    Some mothers are like that....

    Ignore her. What works for her family might not work for yours. If you little one is happy and you are happy with his development then I wouldn't even worry.

    If she won't shut up about it maybe just tell her that you think its great for her that her son is so advanced (in her opinion) but you are happy to let your son develop at his own rate or ask her to stop mentioning it to you because you are happy doing it your way. Or something along those lines....

    Good Luck.

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    My 32month old girl isn't toilet trained we are trying to train her she is showing interest so she is in underware alot of the time but she has alot of accidets, but she will train in her own time, we wouldn't even have her in undies unless she had wanted to be. We got rid of the dummy at 18months we went cold turkey it was a long 3 days but after the 3 day shes forgotten about it. She hasn't had a bottle since about 10months but her sister has one she is about 15month, she has never been very interested in a dummy but her big sister was addicted. My point is every child is different. You know your child better then anyone else, children train in their own time, I mean how many high schoolers do you see in nappies (excluding ones with disabilities). I wouldn't be worried about what anyone else thinks people like to compair. My friend has a 4year old who has only just been toilet trained and thats not considered unusual I would worry just say to her he will do that when hes ready. You will know when the time is right.

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    Default Competition in development

    Thanks everyone.

    I think I am just really upset that she is trying to pressure on my son to do everything her son is doing. Her son is very physically developed where my son is more mentally developed. Children get enough pressure put on them without someone close to them doing it to them.

    Thanks again everyone!

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    Goodness, they really do grow so fast, he'll be off to school before you know it and you'll wonder what all the fuss was about (and so will your friend). I laugh to myself now when I think of how I stressed out I was about how DS breastfed to sleep so long (until he was 3, though he did sleep of course if I wasn't there). As I kiss him goodnight and walk out the door as he falls asleep all by himself, I often think of all the times I wondered when he would self settle.

    I'm doing things a bit differently with DD, like she already has her bedtime milk in a sippy cup (rather than BF or a bottle) and she's only 13 months old. Like a PP said, the bottle and dummy thing might need a nudge at some point, but it's certainly not a matter of life and death and he certainly won't be walking around with a dummy when he's 15.

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    Default Competition in development

    My cousin has a lil girl about 20 or so months older than my DD and she was toilet trained by 2 talking in full sentences and ll those kinds of things .. My DD isn't toilet trained we tried a few times but she isn't quite there yet in knowing that she needs to go I get the odd comment here and there about how she should be toilet trained by now as she will be 3 in may and Ds is due then but I'm not stressing I also get the odd comment for different family members about how she should be doing this or that or she isn't well behaved etc ... She is a typical 2 and ahalf years old she has had a lot to deal with in the passed few years I'm not making excuses but hey I let her develop at her own speed some kids are faster at doing some things and slower at doing others ... My Dd can take herself to bed and with go to sleep if she is tired I've known some kids that can't sleep in a single bed until age 3 one child was in at 12 mths .... Each child is different and will advance differently if we all developed at the same rate things would be sooooo boring lol


 

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