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  1. #31
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    Default If your little one does not self-settle....

    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    4 words

    Over my dead body.

    I would not recommend this book to my worst enemy.

    OP. We fed dd1 to sleep till I weaned at 19mths. We never had any probs at all

    Now we cuddle to sleep for naps and bedtime. Takes 5-15min on avg. If she is really upset or too wired I take her for a walk in the pram and she usually passes out in there soon after. Either she stays sleeping in there or we transfer her to her bed. Middle of the night wake ups are resettled in her bed or we take her to ours.

    Dd2 is 5mths and is being fed to sleep but I remove the boob whilst drowsy and then pat her to sleep in her cot. She will also sleep in the car, pram and carrier.
    Some people would define having to feed a baby to sleep, , spending up to 15 minutes patting them to sleep, having to walk them in a pram to get them to sleep, having them wake in the middle of the night and transfer beds as being a problem.

    And before you say it, it's not about parents not wanting to be there for their kids. It's about efficiency. If, with minimal fuss, your child can put them-self to sleep within moments of being put down, theres an extra 2 hours? per day for mum and dad to do stuff.? Now I wouldn't wish the pandering inefficient approach on my worst enemy. Or perhaps I would. Meh.
    Last edited by VicPark; 11-11-2012 at 12:07.

  2. #32
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    Default If your little one does not self-settle....

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirby star View Post
    Yeah sorry i don't think advice such as putting 7 blankets on an infant or putting a wrapped child in a car seat is coming from someone sane.
    She doesn't say to swaddle a baby then put it in the car, only to put them in a sleeping bag first and it is not against safety standards to sell sleeping bags that offer the facility to put a seat belt through it, therefore not sure where insanity comes into it.

    Again it's all about opinions on what you think works for your family, just because Tizzie Hall offers advice on something that doesn't sit well for you or your family, it doesn't make it incorrect or ineffective not does it make the author insane.

  3. #33
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    I don't think that it's necessarily helpful to the OP to have a barny over the merits of sleep training. All families have different philosophies and needs.

    But even those who support CC/CIO do not endorse this for babies under six months and the OP's babe is only 3 months corrected plus, having read a few of the OPs previous posts, it sounds as though bub has colic and silent reflux.

    I don't understand how any one could encourage sleep training for this baby.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Albert01 View Post
    What do you do to get your little one off to sleep for nighttime and day sleeps?

    How do you feel about/find this routine? If your fairy godmother offered you one wish would you change this routine, if so, how would you want it to be different?



    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub
    In the last year I have had the best and worst of both worlds...

    As a newborn DS was a great settler and would be fine most of the time put down awake. At the time this was something that I wanted to do as I had read "the books" about a good sleeping baby and seen my friends struggle with a baby which was fed to sleep. I was very lucky that my bubs was happy to do that, I know not every newborn is quite so helpful.

    At around 3/4 months we started to find it a bit harder, so I used the pick up/put down technique. I would never do cc/cio, but this provided bubs with comfort (pick up) when needed and also allows them some space to learn. It worked really well and I had a fairly decent sleeper, we had good and bad nights, but all babies do.... UNTIL he learned to stand.

    At that point everything went out of the window. He would not go to sleep!!! I started to rock/feed him to sleep in the afternoons as that was when he was worst and then, mornings and then evenings. Then he would only go to sleep in my arms. It usually didn't take long thankfully. To be honest I LOVED those cuddles, I felt a bit robbed that I had missed out on then when he was a newborn because I had been fixated on him self settling. But then it started to get very irritating. I couldn't go anywhere, I was the ONLY one he would settle for, he was waking multiple times at night for a cuddle back to sleep. He had only slept through a handful of times his whole life. By the time he was 12 months I had hit the wall.

    I made the decision that I wanted a little bit of time and flexibility back into my life. As I said I would not do cc/cio so I set aside a month to get him back to self settling using the parental presence techniques. It took less that a week. The first day was tough, then after that it got easier each day. He still doesn't settle easily every night, but day sleeps are great.

    So all in all, there are good and bad things about both options.

    If you would like more info on different techniques to try that (IMO) are kinder than cc/cio but still effective I would happily share the websites.

    HTH.

    ETA: He now sleeps 7 to 6 every night and only wakes around twice a week and is easily settled

  5. #35
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    Default If your little one does not self-settle....

    Doesn't nessessarily sound like either of those things.
    The baby *could* just be over tired. He Could have reflux and colic too, but OP hasn't really described the symptoms.

    OP, it is possible you have a colicky baby but you haven't described symptoms. Which typically means the bub cries non stop for atleast 3hours every day, no reason, nothing can settle bubs, won't drink won't suck dummy, is just constant screaming/hysterical, wont sleep etc. IF so, you can try very loud white noise like putting bubs near kitchen vent or you can get white noise apps or CDs. It usually stuns baby into listening, stops crying and breathes and eventually falls asleep or takes the bottle. I have asked if it damages hearing to doctors/childhealthnurse but apparently as long as its not too much louder than baby's screaming its fine as baby can handle his own voice. This helped us for the first 12weeks. Our bub screamed twice a day at the same time a day for periods between 2.5-4hours long but he's pretty much stoppedi.

    Reflux can be a cause of colic, in our case it was. Typically with a reflux attack if you notice baby arching back, if its worse after laying down or jiggling could be signs. Lots of spewing even hours after bottle is too. If uou think this could be it, keeping baby upright/ on an incline all the time is a must, keeping up after a feed for half an hour and if your formula feeding AR milk helps. Sometimes might need medication.

    IMO op sounds like your baby is overtired. My bub usually wakes up constantly, they call them sleep cycles as babies are meant to wake up as it prevents SIDS etc. but some babies need help to resettle back to sleep.

    During the day I usually need to spend his sleeps either with him in bed or next to his bassinet as alone he will wake up after the first 20 minutes and then every 10minutes after. It's so frustrating but I can get him back to sleep and I believe he is getting so much better and that sleep school has helped us.

  6. #36
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    Default Re: If your little one does not self-settle....

    Quote Originally Posted by ilovehats View Post
    In the last year I have had the best and worst of both worlds...

    As a newborn DS was a great settler and would be fine most of the time put down awake. At the time this was something that I wanted to do as I had read "the books" about a good sleeping baby and seen my friends struggle with a baby which was fed to sleep. I was very lucky that my bubs was happy to do that, I know not every newborn is quite so helpful.

    At around 3/4 months we started to find it a bit harder, so I used the pick up/put down technique. I would never do cc/cio, but this provided bubs with comfort (pick up) when needed and also allows them some space to learn. It worked really well and I had a fairly decent sleeper, we had good and bad nights, but all babies do.... UNTIL he learned to stand.

    At that point everything went out of the window. He would not go to sleep!!! I started to rock/feed him to sleep in the afternoons as that was when he was worst and then, mornings and then evenings. Then he would only go to sleep in my arms. It usually didn't take long thankfully. To be honest I LOVED those cuddles, I felt a bit robbed that I had missed out on then when he was a newborn because I had been fixated on him self settling. But then it started to get very irritating. I couldn't go anywhere, I was the ONLY one he would settle for, he was waking multiple times at night for a cuddle back to sleep. He had only slept through a handful of times his whole life. By the time he was 12 months I had hit the wall.

    I made the decision that I wanted a little bit of time and flexibility back into my life. As I said I would not do cc/cio so I set aside a month to get him back to self settling using the parental presence techniques. It took less that a week. The first day was tough, then after that it got easier each day. He still doesn't settle easily every night, but day sleeps are great.

    So all in all, there are good and bad things about both options.

    If you would like more info on different techniques to try that (IMO) are kinder than cc/cio but still effective I would happily share the websites.

    HTH.

    ETA: He now sleeps 7 to 6 every night and only wakes around twice a week and is easily settled
    Hi, I would really appreciate being directed to that website.....cheers



    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub

  7. #37
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    Default Re: If your little one does not self-settle....

    Quote Originally Posted by Ahpez View Post
    Doesn't nessessarily sound like either of those things.
    The baby *could* just be over tired. He Could have reflux and colic too, but OP hasn't really described the symptoms.

    OP, it is possible you have a colicky baby but you haven't described symptoms. Which typically means the bub cries non stop for atleast 3hours every day, no reason, nothing can settle bubs, won't drink won't suck dummy, is just constant screaming/hysterical, wont sleep etc. IF so, you can try very loud white noise like putting bubs near kitchen vent or you can get white noise apps or CDs. It usually stuns baby into listening, stops crying and breathes and eventually falls asleep or takes the bottle. I have asked if it damages hearing to doctors/childhealthnurse but apparently as long as its not too much louder than baby's screaming its fine as baby can handle his own voice. This helped us for the first 12weeks. Our bub screamed twice a day at the same time a day for periods between 2.5-4hours long but he's pretty much stoppedi.

    Reflux can be a cause of colic, in our case it was. Typically with a reflux attack if you notice baby arching back, if its worse after laying down or jiggling could be signs. Lots of spewing even hours after bottle is too. If uou think this could be it, keeping baby upright/ on an incline all the time is a must, keeping up after a feed for half an hour and if your formula feeding AR milk helps. Sometimes might need medication.

    IMO op sounds like your baby is overtired. My bub usually wakes up constantly, they call them sleep cycles as babies are meant to wake up as it prevents SIDS etc. but some babies need help to resettle back to sleep.

    During the day I usually need to spend his sleeps either with him in bed or next to his bassinet as alone he will wake up after the first 20 minutes and then every 10minutes after. It's so frustrating but I can get him back to sleep and I believe he is getting so much better and that sleep school has helped us.
    Your description sounds very similar to my DS. He had been on reflux medications for over a month now and this had been really helpful in terms of reducing both reflux and colicky behaviours. Otherwise his prematurity had not been a problem. He was a remarkably healthy premmie.

    I have no trouble getting him to sleep but he wakes up after 10-20 minutes and cannot settle himself back to sleep and more times than not my rocking, patting and feeding will only succeed in getting him back to sleep for a brief period of time before he wakes again. He rarely makes it through a sleep cycle.

    I believe he is over tired and therefore overstimulated because he screams like a banshee (not the colicky 3 hour crying anymore, thankfully)...which may then be followed by asleep. Sometimes the MP3 whitenoise works, sometimes it doesn't.

    We are really hoping to be accepted to a sleep school to help improve any possible misreading of cues on my part and my confidence in helping him to stay asleep...I question my soothing strategies very easily and I think this has led to some inconsistency on my part and little success in helping him get back to sleep.

    Phew....thanks for your post, it was really helpful.

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub
    Last edited by Albert01; 11-11-2012 at 20:01.

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ahpez View Post
    Yeah I think so too.
    They encourage shooshung etc for little winges or little cries but don't allow the loud or high cries. We have to pick up a lot but getting so much better
    I've never been to sleep school but this sounds like what I've been doing with DD. I wanted her to self settle but hadn't read any books, I've just been going with my own instincts. She's 13 months old, and in the last couple of weeks she has gone from feeding to sleep and waking multiple times a night (cosleeping and needing to BF to get back to sleep), to practically weaned (one BF during the day after her nap), self settling at bedtime and sleeping without a peep from 7pm to 5am, then back to sleep if I'm lucky until after 7am.

    I was surprised how quickly she changed, and it took very little crying, I was really quite amazed. I decided 2 days ago that I was no longer going to BF her before sleep, and I haven't once. I breastfed DS to sleep for over 3 years, so it feels SO liberating to have DD self settling.

    Having said all that, I wouldn't personally be getting a baby under 6 months to self settle using the method I used. In fact I waited until DD was over 12 months as I didn't want to interfere with breastfeeding until she was at the age when food could become her main source of nutrition.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to Hollywood For This Useful Post:

    Albert01  (11-11-2012)

  10. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kirby star View Post
    My ds is 2 1/2, i have to just lay with him, it can take 2 hours for him to fall asleep

    I would prefer him to fall asleep quickly or be happy alone
    Sent from my LG-E400f using BubHub
    ^ this is what happens at our house too. I don't mind being with him while he falls asleep, I just wish some nights it would be quicker, and that he wouldn't wake at night.

    I think the OP's question is spot-on for me - I want a 'magic wand'. I'm not interested in 'sleep training' and just do what works for us for now. But if a wish could change it without stress or fuss, I'd do it. What helps me is the fact that I know DS will do it eventually. We've gone from him screaming himself to sleep to him wanting to go to bed so we'll get there...

  11. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Electric Boogaloo For This Useful Post:

    Albert01  (11-11-2012),intruderalert1234  (11-11-2012)

  12. #40
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    Default Re: If your little one does not self-settle....

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Most people who read her book don't have to:
    - lie with a 2.5 year old for over 2 hours to get them to sleep....
    - take 2 years to have a child sleep through

    The nutjob must be at least doing something right?
    Oh for goodness sake its actually quite normal for children under the age of 2 to not sleep through!

    My oldest didn't consistently sleep through until he was almost 3. Now at 4.5 he is an amazing sleeper, goes to bed at 7pm every single night and sleeps through unless he needs to get up to use the toilet.

    Just because something makes a child sleep through doesn't necessarily make it the right thing for everyone.

    I haven't read all the replies but I personally like the no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth pantley and sleeping like a baby by pinkie McKay.

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