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  1. #1
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    Default *spinoff* What makes someone a good Mother?

    I was reading through the thread about how much involvement we have with our Mums and like a few of the posters was a bit depressed hearing so many of you talking about the great relationships you have with your Mums.

    I have a complicated relationship with mine. Although we do actually have a lot to do with each other, it's always frought with drama and unhappiness and I'm so envious of those who can say things like "my Mum's my best friend" and "I don't know what I'd do without her".

    Anyway I'm due to have a little girl in a few months and it got me thinkining, I'd love it if in 20 or so years my daughter could say such positive things about me, so for those of you who do have great relationships with your Mums, what are the things she did when you were younger, and now as an adult, which enabled you to have a great relationship?

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    Default *spinoff* What makes someone a good Mother?

    Always there for me no matter what and would put me before herself everytime.

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    Default *spinoff* What makes someone a good Mother?

    There are a lot of things that makes my mum great. As a child I think it was despite working full time when she was home she was 100% "there" and I knew that despite her working my brother and I came first.

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    Default Re: *spinoff* What makes someone a good Mother?

    Lots and lots of paste and duct tape lol

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub

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    Default *spinoff* What makes someone a good Mother?

    Don't be overly critical and question their choices all the time. I see my MIL do this with her own daughter and they have the worst mother daughter relationship. She won't go to her mum because she knows she will just get shot down and made to feel bad about herself. Poor thing nothing she does is right in her mothers eyes!

    Sometimes I just need my mum to listen and give me a hug, saying "it will all be ok love"...." Maybe try this...." .especially when i was a teen.
    This was how my mum mothered me and she is my best friend now.

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    My mum just knows me so well. Granted that was about me being able to talk to her as well. She knows when to give me her opinion and when to let me find things out for myself. She encourages me to think for myself and to be independent but at the same time I know she is always there for me. My dad was a loser but she more than made up for his absence. She lets me be me.

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    My Mum loves me 100%. She has and would go without to ensure I don't. She will always back me 100% even if I'm wrong. She will tell me what she thinks but if her opinion differs to mine, she respects it and won't go on and on about at it. She doesn't do the "I told you so" if I do get it wrong, she offers help with a move forward plan.

    Don't get me wrong, we have our arguments - but it is always put behind us quickly and I know that she loves me and will support everything I do.

    I plan on always supporting my DD no matter what and showing her for the rest of her life how much I love her.

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    I know if I ever need anything, I can ask my Mum and she will move heaven and earth to make it happen.

    I know she wants the best for all her children; and whilst teenagers my sister took this on board as a negative- she felt as though Mum was being too critical of her choices and she rebelled. I however, thrived on it. So maybe just take the child's preferences and personality into play as well.

    I also think it's important to treat your DD as a person right from the start. If I had a question, my Mum would never do that thing where she would say I was too young to know- she would give me an age appropriate explanation. And now I do the same for my own kids- I figure if they're old enough to ask then they're old enough to have some knowledge.

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    Izy  (10-11-2012)

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    Default *spinoff* What makes someone a good Mother?

    Quote Originally Posted by Milly Molly Mandy View Post
    Don't be overly critical and question their choices all the time. I see my MIL do this with her own daughter and they have the worst mother daughter relationship. She won't go to her mum because she knows she will just get shot down and made to feel bad about herself. Poor thing nothing she does is right in her mothers eyes!

    Sometimes I just need my mum to listen and give me a hug, saying "it will all be ok love"...." Maybe try this...." .especially when i was a teen.
    This was how my mum mothered me and she is my best friend now.
    This. Even if your cringing inside over decisions they have made. A hug and knowing mum will be there always without judgement.
    Sounds kinda cliche but kinda works. Being open minded and remembering that we all do silly things at times can mean a trusting, open and honest relationship. The key foundations of any friendship!

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    Izy  (10-11-2012)

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    Default *spinoff* What makes someone a good Mother?

    My mum is so selfless and stood by me through everything. She was the only one left standing behind me at a stage in my life when I managed to push everyone else away.
    Her love for me is truly unconditional and non judgmental.


 

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