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  1. #1
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    Default Feeling quite alone.

    I'm 36 weeks on Monday, and am visiting qld and DP is in NSW (I go back tomorrow however). Soon as his friends heard ill be gone they wanted to take him to the casino and strippers which had me almost having anxiety attacks. Anyway he told them no, and they instead had a night at the pub. (Using my baby as an excuse, to have a last hurrah DP's friends not DP that is if that makes sense,) even though I know how different everything will be for them so I've been the sober taxi for them every weekend for the last 7 months. I get thanked with them wanting to make my partner go behind my back. Tonight I try calling DP as he's at his friends place again and I didn't hear from him all night until about ten to one! Had a.small chat and one of his friends said if you're going to be on the phone all night blah blah blah. His gf brought some random other girl over who I've never met. Just after all I've done for the scum bags they act like I'm a waste of space nothing but a boring pregnant girl. I have left everything behind to move to NSW with Dp have no family there I'm alone I thought I had their friendship but the closer we get to my due date the scummier they get like they subconsciously hate me for taking their friend away I dunno. Feel so lost and alone I have to see them all sunday for a baby shower and BBQ but I just can't act happy, or put on a smile. I just want to hide in my room and never come out and never see anyone. Sorry for the long post that most probably made no sense its 2am and my mind is frazzled but I just don't know anymore.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Feeling quite alone.

    So sorry for how you're feeling. Perhaps it's time to have a good talk to your DH about his friends and how you feel. Sorry I'm not much help but at least know that I'm thinking of you

    Sent from my GT-I9300T using BubHub

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    Sounds like these 'men' are in their 20's? When DP's first mates started having babies, that is how the rest of the group reacted. They find it a threat to their 'pack', and so start trying to draw them back in by doing all of the 'fun' things they can think of.
    It's annoying and a huge PITA, but once the baby arrives I'm sure your DP will settle down and realise where his responsibilities lie.

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    delirium  (10-11-2012)

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    Default Re: Feeling quite alone.

    How old is he?
    I agree, they sound immature and threatened.
    I had the same issues from DHs single friends when we were younger. Now they're all married and I said to him sarcastically, why don't you go annoy them to take them out now? But they're not interested without their wives, funny when the shoes on the other foot. I said this to one of them and he blushed and didn't know what to say, felt like a hypocrite I guess.

    My best piece of advice would be, don't discuss it in front of the friends, this will make immature males get worse.
    And stay calm, when my baby arrived dh changed, the reality of responsibility hit him.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nomsie View Post
    Sounds like these 'men' are in their 20's? When DP's first mates started having babies, that is how the rest of the group reacted. They find it a threat to their 'pack', and so start trying to draw them back in by doing all of the 'fun' things they can think of.
    It's annoying and a huge PITA, but once the baby arrives I'm sure your DP will settle down and realise where his responsibilities lie.
    I agree with this. When Dh and I first got together he had an old mate shift to the city. We gave him a place to stay while he found his own, DH got him a job where he worked. but a few months in, things turned sour. He would pressure DH to have "one drink" at the nightclub after work then once there would keep buying and guilt him into staying. He pressured him to leave me home. i would get home from uni or work to an empty house and no note. We were fighting heaps and I kept telling DH he was trying to break us up. A few months later Dh worked out what was happening and ditched him. The friend was single and they were mates during his bachelor party phase, and his friend wanted to continue that. After dumping him, Dh told me how he would make comments about how great being single was, and didn't DH miss it? random comments that I was a ball and chain. So he was def trying to manipulate DH into dumping me so he had a drinking buddy - totally selfish

    So it sounds like your partners childless mates are still stuck in the responsibility-free party phase, and don't like that he is moving on to more grown up things. I would talk to your partner and tell him what you see, he may not see what they are doing.

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    Default Re: Feeling quite alone.

    Yeah his friends are 24-25, I'm only 21. Thank you all so much and so sorry to hear Delirium! At least he eventually saw through it all. They are all excited, one of them has just gone through a breakup with his girl he'd been with for six years so I guess that explains his desire to drink to forget. And he also wants to buy us a baby seat. But the closer we get the more I think It's dawning on them or something. I talked to dp the first time about all the reasons I thought it was unfair for them to want to go to the casino and strippers etc, he didn't even want to go so that made it easier. But last night when his friend said something to him about being on the phone so long I said how annoyed I was and that was a low dig to make and he just told me to calm down and that it was a joke. Yeah right you can tell when someones joking and he wasn't! Thank you all so much too by the way. It's helped me calm down so much being able to let it out.


 

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