I'm typing this on my phone while I lie in bed crying quietly while my husband sleeps beside me. I can't even properly express the way I feel right now. I'm upset with myself and the person that I've become. I used to be confident, outgoing and the life of the party. Now I'm a clingy, crying mess who feels unattractive and hides in the corner. It doesn't help that my husband believes in "being honest" which involves him asking me questions like "have you always been this fat?".
I don't know what's come over me tonight, I've been feeling really good about myself and what I'm doing with this challenge, then tonight I've just been a mess. I have never more felt like giving up on life. I don't meant that literally, I just mean that a part of me wishes that I could just up and go, leave everyone and everything behind and start again without all the painful past to hurt me.
I just want to feel loved. Most of all by me. :'(